MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Amazon.com: ScamCity.com?

So here's the deal: it seems you cannot trust sellers on amazon.com anymore. Ordering a bargain has become akin to playing a game of Russian roulette, where it's your wallet that's dies a slow death, and your mailman has nothing to show for all of your hard online shopping, even if you asked him really nicely.



Have you ever heard of amazon's 'Fulfilment Centers'? That's what they call their packing warehouses. But as I write this, I can't say I feel particularly fulfilled, even after having been screwed three times in a row (pardon my Swedish). I do feel scammed, though. You see, when you order something, you expect amazon to not be doing business with scam scum ─ a blue guy coinage that hopefully you won't be needing any day soon ─ but no such luck, people, because amazon is unable to separate the wheat from the chaff.

You order something, they take your money, and whatever follows is a matter of sheer trust. It's like with the economy: if there's no trust, there's no business; they don't get to sell anything to you, you don't buy anything from them, and, in the end, no one's a happy camper. Which is exactly how I feel after doing business with amazon three times in a row, and having been scammed an equal number of times even though I do not necessarily classify as the town idiot.

What scam am I talking about? Well, in a nutshell the track and trace a seller gives you is as fake as Nicole Kidman's face, much to my regret I might add. You check the track and trace provided and they tell you your order is well on its way to you. Oh what a feeling! And every day you take another peek, you can almost sense your much-coveted purchase drawing near. It's almost here! It's almost here! There's even an animated timeline to keep the juices flowing. Except that the progress shown is as fake as Meg 'You've Got Plastic!' Ryan's once oh-so-cute face. (Why, Meg???? Whyyyyyyyy??!!) You realize it's fake when the timeline all of a sudden says, "Delivered on June 2" when you're still staring at your mailbox hoping for the mailman and your order to somehow materialize. You're thinking, I am there. The mailbox is there. The mailman is . . . not. The package never existed in the first place. It was a virtual package.

When you try to contact the seller, amazon sends you an email informing you that "your e-mail to seller X cannot be delivered because there was a problem with the recipient's email system." This is soon followed by another email from amazon saying, "I've tried to contact the seller for this order, however, I can see that seller X has left the Amazon website." No surprises there.

Sure, amazon might eventually decide to refund your money because they want to keep you as a customer, but that's beside the point. I want to be able to trust any seller that amazon allows to do business with me. So what if a price is unrealistic? So what if $0.50 for a paperback doesn't sound credible? I must've bought at least fifty of those already, not to mention hundreds of DVDs now that everybody's so hooked on Netflix, and they all found their way to my doorstep. Now, not so much.

So beware, fellow amazon lovers. When your timeline is about to climax, all you yourself may gain from the whole experience is, well, nothing.

Literally.

* * *