Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run.
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Being Ill Is a Pill — Let's Hope Independence Day Is Not

Yes, I'm ill, and being ill is a pill. Wait! Don't change channels just yet! Don't go zap-zap on me for this is not going to be a depressing post in the place to be on a beautiful Sunday morn. But I gotta tell ya... being ill still is one heck of a pill, and I'm in no mood to swallow. Do I look like Debbie from Dallas to you? Well? (If you want the fridge, the appropriate way to respond is to yell a convincing, not to mention, resounding, "No!") I thought so. 

Hello, blogger buddies and Zack Snyder. (Yes, Janie, I couldn't resist.) When breathing normally is a thing of the past and going to the gym to improve your shaky health is seriously out of the question, any attempt to let the creative juices flow bloggerwise becomes somewhat of a challenge, and it's more frustrating than being forced — without the force — to watch The Phantom Menace twice, even when you're drunk as a skunk minus the junk.

So what's the good news? The good news is I'm looking forward to June 24 for two completely different reasons. Number one, if things go as planned, June 24 will mark the moment when Blue wakes up (knock on wood — no, not that wood) only to realize in a state of complete disbelief that his vacation (a what?) has finally, FINALLY started. Plus on June 24 Independence Day — the movie, not the day — is set to make a big comeback, though I have to tell you, good people out there in the blogiverse... that colon in the title sure bugs me.

"I thought we were talking GOOD news?!!"

I know, Pickleope Von Pickleopeland, I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist. I'm weak that way. I know you're having a hard time but we're talking colons, not colonoscopy.

As you may know, the movie is called Independence Day: Resurgence, which kind of sounds like...

Star Trek: Insurrection

Notice the colons. The way I see it, colons are a tell-tale sign of creative impotence. I know this to be true because in the world of academia, my alternate reality and personal hell, basically every publication boasts the damn thing. Pardon my Swedish. Colons just happen to upset me. Every time I see a nasty colon creeping up on me, I feel academic impotence wants to slowly consume me like The Blob: The Reboot. Aaaaaaah! There's another one! Do you see what I mean? Colons mean business, and so do Hollyheads whose heads are (1) impotent and (2) empty. Maybe I should one day write an academic blob (not blog) entitled, "The Curse of the Colons: Why Colons Consume Creativity and You". Would you read it?

I suppose by now you will have come to realize that I truly am ill and in dire need of a pill, so excuse me while I go lie down again and dream of a life full of energy and dreams that I can actually remember. Screw those test papers. It's Sunday. And Independence Day: Resurgence had better be good!

P.S. Thank you for all your kind messages. I will be rebooted.

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Who's that knockin' at my door?