This is him, the couch potato. He is positively the laziest cat in history. He has turned snoaring into an art form, and you know what they say about a pet and his human friend...
hammer in style and with the utmost grace while he is just a beast. A snoaring beast. Just look at him and shiver. Doesn't he look scary?
Pat in the Hatt or The Green Pickster looking Strangely Naked when the missus is looking the other way. Heck, I don't even remember my dreams. I bet Mongo does. I don't even have time to dream or visit you all. I've got work to do. I've got responsibilities. I've got, you know, important things to do. Wait. Don't we all have important things to do? Like watching funny videos about bunnies in heat or sexy donkeys in space? No? Well, how about taking selfies or telling your friends what you're eating right now? Look: a pickle! A pickle? Show me that picture! Show me that picture! No? Are you sure? No selfies? Get outa here! I don't believe you. Not even for a split second. You know life is short, so admire your face while it's still there. (Ouch.)
In case you're wondering what I've been doing. Here's what:
|Now, that's what I call a moan-free soundproofing system.|
|Spared no expense. Good thing money doesn't make us happy, right?|
Should we ever meet in jail (knock on wood), you may refer to me as The Hammer From The Slammer. I would be in jail for squeezing my neighbor's balls. I don't know about you.
Meanwhile Mongo the mini-panther wannabee and Batman impersonator slash embodiment of laziness would continue looking after my um.... his favorite couch and, who knows, maybe even move. No, not to another place. I mean MOVE, like moving your muscles. He can do it.
Well, if he looks like me, he can.
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