If you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
Would they like the way you look and nab you from a tree?
Would you be Brazilian, Greek, Icelandic, maybe French,
Or born in the USA, you say, or a fruity Finnish wench?
I hear you'd be untraceable in the big ole Amazon green,
And how you'd be the most exceptional fruit as yet to be seen
They say you're growing peacefully somewhere in the tropical sun,
A sacchariferous miracle that can weigh a metric tonne
Would finding you today mean traveling round the globe?
Do we get to nibble on you like you were a lover's lobe?
Would you sting or be a frigging um... forbidden fruit?
Would eating you (aha!) mean taking off my suit?
Would you spark off hot romance to the power of twenty-two?
Would you be a passion fruit and I'd drool all over you?
Well, maybe you would rather be a bit less sweet n' sour
Would you ripen in fifteen hundred days or maybe just an hour?
They say you'd be a stiff banana, big and proud and free
Of charge, of course, for those who want another piece of thee
Hey, would you smell real good in your fruity neighborhood,
Would your furry, flavored, pulpy flesh be the epitome of food?
A strawberry, a blueberry, a catberry, a what?
A cranberry, a Bora fruit, a single one, a lot?
Or would you cure my pain
And erase the figments of reality inside my potty brain?
Would you make me see again like normal people do
So I could stop confabulating about a certain kangaroo shoe?
Would you be a medicine and I would call your bluff?
Would a single one of you be just about enough?
One, two, three...
What kind of fruit would you be?
* * *