MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Stay With Me, Christmas Tree, All Is Calm, All Is We . . .

I had this cunning plan to save some cash: don't kill off your Christmas tree. Keep it. Nourish it. Talk to it and make it blush. Embrace its presence when the Easter bunny is hopping around the garden craving for your attention. Ignore that stupid lagomorph. Focus on the tree. Call it... your new best friend... your buddy, nay, the pretty sexy stepsister you thought you had. And who knows, maybe, just maybe you will have saved yourself a whopping eighty bucks when that good ole season comes a-knocking on your mahogany door again. KA-CHING! EIGHTY BUCKS! 

Don't laugh. I'm no Einstein, but I'm told I'm pretty smart by very intelligent people. So how come my much adored investment is dying on me when it's only the friggin' seventh of March? Spring hasn't even started. Could I blame the economy? Everything is going down the drain so why not my investment? Why should I be so lucky? Right? Right? It must be the economy.

Oh who am I kidding. I know you all think it's me. That I did it. That somehow my darling's imminent demise is my fault. You think so? Ha! That's what you think! I gave it all my love. I asked, "How was your day, my Little Christmas Tree?" I bought my baby presents and TV dinners too. I called it sweetheart. I told her about my day and how I really didn't want to beat Hank, but if that's what she wanted me to do, well, she knew I would do it. I'm a man, not a boy. You know... for her.

And yet, the signs were there. Last week, I noticed how her brand new baby branches were starting to sag like my belly and my... well, that's private. Like the stock market? Yeah, that's it! Just like the stock market. I thought we had a wonderful thing going, and now my hopes were shot to shit. Pardon my French. Her light green baby branches... were dying too. My offspring. So I gave her a bit more booze and begged her, "Please stay with me." I started singing, "Silent night, holy night..." But to no avail. And then the second sign closed the dead of death: her Christmas lights went poof. Just like that. So here she is, my dying Christmas tree. I know she won't be mine much longer — if she ever was. Maybe I should sing her a final Christmas song.

Maybe.

* * *

Her light green branches . . .

118 comments:

  1. Keep singing to it. Maybe she does want you to be number one before Hank. Maybe she just needs some Easter decorations?
    I couldn't keep one alive. That's why we have a fake tree.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe it's my voice, Alex. Maybe I should just zip it. Easter decorations.... I might give that a try, but the truth is all my plants just die. I once had a girlfriend and she was fake too, so I kept it real and dumped her. ;)

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  2. Are you keeping it inside or outside?
    I'm in no position to give medical assessments of Christmas trees :( I had about five or six over the years on my balcony... watered them, sung to them, patted them.... and they all died.... feels like I'm a serial tree killer :( It is so tragic.... positively cryworthy..... Methinks trees should just stay in the yards or forests.... where elves can water them with their magical pee.....

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    1. Check the picture. Don't you know my living room when you see it? Okay, so it's about 73 degrees inside, but that shouldn't stop my sweetheart from dying on me, right? But what do you know... your a serial tree killer.

      Magical pee... How come that makes me think of my neighbors... Thanks for the image.

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    2. I see the photo but I thought it was an old Christmas one :) I don't think you should keep it inside, put it out and give it some fresh air. Not that I would know.... as a serial tree killer :(
      You know I actually cry a bit everytime my late father would cut a tree in our yard because he had a psychotic need to cut them... he would not rest until he cuts it... We had a dozen of conifers and a huge walnut and he cut them all down one by one.... I'm still disturbed when I walk by the spots where they once were....

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    3. I would tell you what mine did, but then I'd have to throw up first, so let's not. The thing is... every plant in my house dies, so I was hopeful this tree would make it. To no avail...

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    4. well, I know it's not about the light, because you have tones of it in the house, and I'm guessing you're not overwatering them... so it could be draught? Most plants don't like windy places... and cold.... and they don't like to be close to gadgets and machines....
      But with the tree.. it just wasn't born to be kept inside for so long :) Did you take it out to the balcony?

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    5. PS sanseverias are the plants that I have in my room... they're ever so resistant... they could survive on Mars and need nothing but occasional watering.... and they're one of the best cleansers of air... so you might try with them.... they're ellegant

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    6. I'm gulty: (1) overwatering the poor thing plus (2) 73F 24/7. So I'm cutting down on the booze... um.. watering... I might do the trick. No balcony. I want it inside. I'm cruel that way ;) (to want it inside)

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    7. Excellent tip! Will try them out, Dezzzzmeister.

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    8. would you believe that all three of my sanseverias are older than me :) They all have more than 30 years.... kinda like constantly present pets....

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  3. I still have a Poinsettia, I water it each day and pick up the green leaves that drop off slowly one by one as his scarlet December star blooms on. A sign of hope as his light still lingers waiting for a breath of spring air. Perhaps, I should sing him a song don't leave me as the cardinals lend a cheer. I think you should keep singing her spirit longs to hear the melody..to wrap her boughs of green around your limbs. A star belongs on the tree of life..so all our dreams can take flight.

    and just maybe, she will hear the song of your heart...

    How are you Blue? How was your day?




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    Replies
    1. Maybe I shouldn't water it every day. Do you reckon that might have something to do with it. It's about 73 inside, so I figured she needed a drink. I tried wrapping her boughs around my limbs but then Angie threatened to film it and put my butt on Youtube. The nerve, right? I felt so betrayed.... so caught in the act. Um...

      Good idea, let's change the subject. Well, I've been exhausted since, what, Tuesday. Nothing new, but annoying nevertheless. I've been trying to get some quality sleep but my downstairs neighbor (the good one) has been nailing I don't know what for hours on end. And what about your life, Truedessa Dear?

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    2. Blue,

      All plants need water especially in warm weather. Caught in the act of entwined limbs and boughs. Angie is watching you better behave. Well, I guess the neighbor has a job he needs to get done perfecting his craft perhaps..haha

      I am ok Blue going through the motions of my life...check your mail I sent you something.

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    3. But it's so hard.... to behave. (I'd like to see the look on your face now.) Will check my email :)

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    4. hmm..I think I am blushing...but...I would like to see your face now..

      the journey is hard for only so long then the hammering ceases as rest comes on petals of pink.

      Maybe, the spring will spruce things up...as flowers bloom..

      Have a great day blue..maybe, take Angie out for the day :)


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    5. I hear I should easy up on the watering. That might be it. Petals of pink... you can count me in.

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    6. How is your tree dear blue
      maybe, she is thirsty for you
      life is a sweet melody
      sing her a lullaby

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    7. Oh it's still here, but not doing too well. Too bad I won't be able to stuff it.

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  4. I'm asking two silly question:
    Has she got any roots? . . . if not you must feed her intravenously with a saline drip.
    Is she outside or inside. If inside she is being fried alive probably . . the evidence is lots of needles lying all over the place. If outside is she in the shade . . . if she has roots and if she is fairly cool and she is watered she should be ok, provided you continue to sing carols, O Holy Night should revive her . . . .
    Otherwise I am sorry to say she has gone to join Mr Spock . . . :)

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    Replies
    1. The one and only.... Eddie! How are you doing, sir?

      Well, let's see.... Yes, she's got roots. I put her, roots and all that is, in a posh pot, a really big one. A saline drip? But only if she had no roots?

      She is inside. You can see it in the picture, Eddie. Oh I will miss her. Yes, it's about 22 degrees celsius inside. I'm a bit like those Start Trek Borg... It needs to be the same temperature 24/7... In my case 73 F. Maybe I should put her outside. Pat Hatt, that Cat on the Mat, says it's my singing that is killing her. How rude, right?

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  5. Maybe your singing scared it to death
    Or could you have bad breath?
    Blaming it for beating for Hank
    80 though is nice to keep in the bank
    Angie must be jealous though
    To a dead tree all your loving does go
    First your snoring and now a tree
    She may soon beat up thee lol

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    1. Maybe the culprit's my singing?
      AKA me without the ding-a-linging?
      My breath did kill my money tree
      Do you reckon the same thing's happening again to me?
      Well, to HER, and she doesn't even have fur
      Maybe it would help if you could just purrrrrrrr?
      Angie's filing for divorce
      Unless I show remorse
      I'm keeping my tree right next to my snore snore couch
      Singing songs to it.... like I'm no grouch
      Maybe my snoring is killing Miss Tree
      So you can put the blame on me....

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    2. Well as you snore
      You create C02 at your shore
      Or something like that
      So you could kill it stat
      Too much of a good thing
      Can't create oxygen at your wing
      As you suck it back to fast
      Killing the poor tree with each snore blast
      There you have a super power
      The humper will surely cower
      The snore blast of doom
      Ears everywhere are filled with gloom
      Angie wants divorce for no remorse?
      You need to get a ding a linging around the course
      Poor money tree too
      Killed by nasty breath at your zoo

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    3. Blue's snore blast
      I'm sure it will last
      Like forever plus one
      I'm not sure that'll be fun
      Super Blue the snore master
      Coming to the rescue creating disaster
      Yep. she wants out and quick
      I may need to act all cute and slick
      CO2
      What am I to do
      Killing off money trees at my zoo?
      Say it ain't true

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    4. Putting all in debt
      Thanks to the snoring fret
      The same on you
      And your super power too
      Angie needs to put duct tape over your mouth
      Then you can head south
      The money trees will grow
      And money will flow

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    5. I'll give her the advice you gave to me
      And you did so at the Blue man sea
      Gave it for free
      Yippeeee Scooby Doooo-eeeee
      Duct tape like duck tape?
      Will there be quacking or maybe an ape
      In my money tree?
      Will I be a rich marquis?

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    6. Maybe you'll snore quack
      Give the humper a heart attack
      Sending them far away
      So in your money you can play
      Or the quacking could be grand
      Lay a golden egg at your land
      Rich as can be
      Although when it comes out it may be nasty

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    7. a blue duck
      Such luck
      May sell it to you
      Or trade it for my shoe

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    8. Sell would involve dough
      None of that at our show
      Maybe a loonie or toonie I could find
      Want one for your cartoony behind?

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    9. Sure I do
      You know I'm Grumpy Goo

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    10. A gumpy loonie
      Surely cartoony

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  6. Replies
    1. YESSSSS!
      But do you mean from coast to coast?

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  7. Off to join her pal Spock. Beam her up.

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    1. All I need is Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy to cure her. What do you mean.... 'too late'?

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  8. I've never had luck taking care of indoor plants and flowers. It sounds like you've been doing all of the right things. Sorry about your tree, BG.

    Julie

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    1. Well, what do you know...
      Julie herself visiting my show

      It must be the temperature. 73 might be a bit too high.

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  9. Raising a tree is not easy. At least they don't argue with us and ask for the keys to the car. Willy Dunne Wooters was sad when I put away the artificial tree and decorations. He wanted me to leave them out all year.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. I know how he feels. Well, I just might. A.... fake tree?

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  10. Try moving to bathroom for a couple of months. Mist from shower.

    Professor and I r well. Enjoying our snow and ice days off from work.

    I am healing after Robert's death. One day I will see him again.

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    Replies
    1. I would if my bathroom were big enough. Good to hear you're doing well. Healing takes time. You know that. I know that.

      Good to hear from you. Yes, I miss you... so what.....

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  11. No green thumb here. I'd have to Google or call florist. Maybe get a little food packet from them. Do you have a horticultural dept. at college?

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    Replies
    1. No green thumb? Would you be shocked if I told you mine are blue? Yes, we have a horticultural dept. at college, but that's in another building far away from my own. Plus I know I killed my beloved tree by frying her (73F) and giving her too much booze (well, H2O).

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    2. We could all send donations to get you another tree?
      Blue thumbs, no Sh(i)t?

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    3. he will kill the donated one too, Dixie, he keeps his trees near the fireplace and they die of fear thinking he will use them for burning :( And plus Mongo likes to peepee on them .....

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    4. Fireplace my foot. Mongo.... he may be the culprit, yeah.

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    5. Mongo see
      Blue's tree
      Says, tee-hee
      Leaves a peepee.

      (Hike that furry leg!!)

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    6. Mongo peed on the tree?
      Say it ain't so at your sea

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    7. It ain't so at my sea
      Scooby Doo-eeeeeee

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    8. Copy and paste
      There post haste

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    9. It's not as simple as that
      There's a bit of science on my mat

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    10. Science you say?
      Like Einstein at your bay?

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    11. Einstein eat your heart out
      Hear me scream and shout:
      Number one at your show
      Twice in a row

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    12. Einstein may not care
      Plus he has no heart to eat anymore, or hair

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    13. Wonder if he was smart enough to make some dough the easy way.

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    14. He could with ease
      AS now he's just a breeze
      Into a bank
      Out the dough he can yank

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  12. Why were you clinging to the sagging vestiges, the archeological remnants of a holiday long-past? Nostalgia? Why!?! Why are you resisting the natural passage of holidays?!? Submit to the lagomorph (great choice of words, by-the-way)!

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    Replies
    1. Why? Because I'm a relentless cheapskate, is why. Hello! Ah... you like lagomorphs... Just the word? I see.

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  13. Do you have any gardening friends you can pawn some advice off of? I understand being a cheapskate. I go to half off on movie night, buy the small lunch because the big lunch is only that much more food right? (well...most of the time) and buy books over a hundred days in advance to get it for $5-$8 instead of the usual $12-$16. Being cheap is not a bad thing and keep talking to your darling until she either springs back to life or the last leaf falls. Best of luck Blue.

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    Replies
    1. They all tell me I'm nuts to want to keep my little tree alive. How's that for cruel! Thanks for stopping by Sheena-kay.

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  14. They are genetically modified to die before the next Christmas season. They want you to fail...

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    Replies
    1. I nearly fell off my chair. HAHA!

      Wait a minute... you may be right.

      Delete
  15. I've never had a real Christmas tree. My grandpa was a firefighter and often complained about how Christmas was his busy season because of all the idiots that forgot to water the tree. The lights would get too hot and set the dying tree on fire. I am an idiot who would forget to water it. I kill every plant I've ever had. Cacti too. It doesn't stop me from getting a cactus at the start of summer every year though. I know it will be dead by spring, but I have hope I can make at least one survive more than a year.

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    Replies
    1. Well, it seems we have a whole lot in common, Theresa. So far all my plants have died on me, even the fake ones, but that's because people who buy me fake plants have a sense of humor.

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    2. how does one kill a fake plant, please tell us more, Blue?

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    3. 'tis a smelly business...

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    4. My fake plants do fare too well either. I forget to wipe them down and they get dusty and dirty. Ick!

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    5. I'm sure they're grown enough to wipe themselves :PPP I put mine under shower once in a Blue moon.....

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    6. Ick! That's some shocking story you're sharing with us, Theresa.

      A blue moon... I see one every day.

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  16. Time to bring in the Easter Bunny, woot!! Out with the old and in with the new. :) :) :)

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    Replies
    1. Out with the old? My sweet little tree isn't old.... But she sure as heck is dying on me. I like the way you woot :)

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  17. Have you seriously preserved your Xmas tree since December?!?! I need you to come work your magic around some plants here. My "gardener's touch" is like a the kiss of death to any plant

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    Replies
    1. Oh I'm serious alright. Check out the new branches. But it'll die any day now.

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  18. Replies
    1. Sherry has been leaving double comments everywhere, Blue, for months now... do you think she's a split personality? :) Or does she have double standards? Solve the mystery, Blue...

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    2. She's twice the woman most of us will ever be. Hello! Plus she's smart and plays the violin.

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    3. and has a German bodyguard too....

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  19. Replies
    1. who is sure, the first or the second Sherry? :)

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    2. It happens when people use their smart phone.

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    3. or a bad optical mouse... it happened to me before :)

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    4. An optical mouse... Now what's that?

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    5. A wireless mouse.. of course

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  20. Maybe it just wants you to sing it a non-Christmas song?? Try Lady Gaga' Bad Romance. That's known to perk up a tree.

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  21. Um...it looks like a fake tree?

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    Replies
    1. Are you calling my sweetheart fake? Well?

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  22. We don't have the luxury of having real ones in my country because there's just one city here where pine trees grow but still no one cut them for holidays. Everybody used artificial so we just need to boxed and un-boxed them every year ha ha.

    And oh... my birthday is on the Ides of March :)

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    Replies
    1. She's alive! I see. No real trees huh?

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  23. Is it appropriate that I just started singing ding dong the witch is dead in my head?

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    Replies
    1. Very appropriate. That's how I feel, too. I feel betrayed by that $80 witch.

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  24. Good one:)) You make me laugh Blue!!! Thanks:))

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    Replies
    1. Ah... there you are. Iwas wondering if somehow you had won a ticket to Bora Bora without telling me. How are you today, Phil?

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  25. No tree is a solitree entire of itself. Every tree is a piece of the forest ........ Each tree's death diminishes me for I am a part of treekind...... etcetera etcetera :)

    Thanks for coming by and for the comlpiment. I can't claim I designed the header. It was Glogirly Designs! :)

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  26. Hey Blue dude,

    It seems I have actually shown up on your blog site. Will wonders ever cease. Before I fast asleep as opposed to slow awake, I shall attempt to leave some semblance of a comment..........................................................................................................................................Um, where am I? Oh yeah, hi Blue dude. Stick the Easter bunny on top of the tree, hang on some pumpkins and before you know it, it's time for Christmas.

    Yay and gosh and see ya later, eh.

    Gary :)

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    Replies
    1. There he is.... Mr Gary himself. Well, what do you know. Feeling a bit upbet today, Gary? You don't want me to call us the Grump Bros, now do you? Just kidding. You know I'd never trivalize your worries, my friend.

      Thanks for stopping by.

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    2. I'm bordering on peachy keen today, good sir. We should have our own Grump Bros. collaboration posting!

      Actually, my kind friend, I greatly appreciated your support and understanding comments on my site. You are much respected.

      Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

      Penny's alleged human,

      Gary :)

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    3. Another visit from Gary... Watch me smile :) A collaborative Grump Bros post. Well, whenever you feel like it. I'm not going anywhere. I hope.

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  27. Maybe you dont believe but still I have the Christmas tree in the living! (without the ornaments) haha!
    I have to order my living lol
    But hubby say look like other plant you have lol
    Yes these two last months were a little mess, maybe the next week I can finish!
    xo

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    Replies
    1. I thought you'd forgotten about your friend, Blue. Who? Me, of course haha!

      What, you have a X-mas tree in your livingroom as well? I thought I was crazy but if you have one too, I must be normal.

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    2. Aww blue you sometimes dont read all my posts.
      Im going all tuesday thursday and sunday to my mom house!
      All day and arrive home about 11 pm at home.
      She is alone by this month because the person helps her was to Peru.
      So I cook and clean and hel her.
      My dad is a mess...not help any my mom.
      Only couse you arw my friend I tell you all this:)
      I think I have my christmas tree waiting for winter and finally maybe in june I could celebrate christmas with cold time:)))
      Hugs to you deae grumpy!!
      xo

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    3. 11 PM... That's late. You must be tired then. Poor you. Well, you're the best cook so she is very lucky. Yes, of course we are friends. We have been for many year, Gloria Dear. :))

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    4. Yes we are grumpy blue:)
      Sleep well!
      Iwil try esperanza is watching Game of thrones and dont like so much:(

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  28. hello you! are you done with the final song ? :) it doesn't look like it's dying to me though. you haven't seen my pot of curry leaf plant or that dreadful coriander.
    or any of my other plants, they really show you what death actually look like. lol.
    how are you doing, blue friend ? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HEY! LOOK WHO'S COME TO PAY ME A VISIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to tell you, Jaya J, I'd come at a point where I thought maybe I'd said something wrong or so, but here you are. Tell you you're doing fine. How's your health these days?

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    2. what wrong can you say?! haha.
      and here we are discussing health like old people do when they get together! i can only be well as long as i live.
      whatever else that i experience every now and then, comes with life itself :) easier when put that way.
      i suppose the new template should lure me here more often. keep well,, Blue and lets hear from you soon.

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    3. Old people? You? Never. You still look like a 20-year-old ;) That isn't a joke, by the way, but you knew that already. It's good to have you back.

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