MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

When Mr. Big Mouth Can't Get a Word Out Edgeways

That would be me — Mr. Big Mouth. Please don't take it away from me. Notice the emphasis on mouth. At least Mr. Big had a limousine. All I have, it seems, is a mouth that isn't always connected to my brain  and if it is, I know I'm in trouble. What's new, right? Yes, this is another ME post. Feel free to zap away. And, no, I'm not talking metaphorically. Not this time, I'm not.

Damn it! Just as I thought I was doing fine healthwise, the universe felt compelled to flip the proverbial bird on me and put it where the sun don't shine, as they say, when I suddenly realized I was unable to speak. Which is not a good thing when you're a professor like me and you're trying your darnest to earn a decent living by, you know, saying stuff. Speaking. I'm a bit like a politician that way except that whatever I say professionally isn't bullshit. That's right, I'm eloquent on weekdays from 9 till 5. 

Well, not so much the other day when Angie, my Bollywood princess, was giving me a strange look that said, "Oh shit. Now what?" We were having breakfast and I was trying to speak when my mouth was strangely out of sync with my blue mind. I was physically unable to squeeze a word out edgeways, and I tell ya, it scared the hell out of me. I did make a few sounds but I couldn't say anything that made sense to Angie or me for that matter. I knew that neurosarcoidosis could stop me right in my tracks — literally. I did not know it could tell my mouth to go all Swedish on me. Whatever I was trying to say, the sounds sure didn't match my inner thoughts. It was like wanting to say "Let's go to Bora" and saying "Llll...Bor.. g.." instead. WTF?

"You need to see a doctor, honey." I guess I do.

So now what? I know sarco can give me a hard time when I type. I sometimes type the weirdest things that I don't even know I'm typing (and it's not the bourbon talking, mind you), and every now and then I just stop walking for no reason. Well, there's a reason. I just don't like it. Good thing I'm rarely in a hurry. So I could be shopping and then all of a sudden it's like I'm walking in wet cement and, yes, it's nearly dry. Not good. But I didn't know Sarcobaby could also disconnect my mouth from my brain.

It took a full hour for my speech to return. What if I had been giving a lecture? What if Angie hadn't been there? Would she have believed me? When will it happen again? And then what? I'm not feeling too well.

So much for the first amendment.

* * *

Ya think?

116 comments:

  1. Oh, my Dear Blue, this makes me feel so sad...

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    1. Blue - Did you go see the doctor? I think you should make an app't asap. We need you around here Blue..I would listen to you speak and I know it would be eloquent, how scary that must have been for you Blue when your mouth and brain weren't in sync. Try and get some rest..you need to get to Bora if I had the money I would buy you a first class ticket..no kidding..I would.,,good thing Angie was there for you..

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    2. Yes, that was scary. Felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. MRI and CAT (no, not you, Cat!)... you name it. Now, all I need is someone to find a cure.

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    3. Those tests always scare me..especially that MRI..I have to go in an open one as I freak out in the other ones. Hey, if you ever want to talk you know where I am and I will always have time for you..ALWAYS...

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  2. My friend Blue, that does not sound very good. Take care of yourself...

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    1. Will do, Phil. Will do. Thank you for calling me your friend.

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  3. I'm sorry! That's scary it can do that to you.
    Did you go to the doctor? (Or did you do the manly thing and not go? My wife hates that.)

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    1. The hospital is my second home. What can I say? I'm not a real man.

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    2. I'm sorry. No, you are a real man. Wish I knew more about what ails you.

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    3. I'll tell my wife. If you really want to know what the wretched symptoms are... here's a short list I came across in the NY Times: CLICK!

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  4. That sucks a ton. What next under your sun? Always something to take place, that I know with the crap embrace. Stupid nerves can be the worst thing ever. Damn things think they are oh so clever, screwing things up this way and that. They sure annoy Pat. What can a Dr. do though? Haven't you already been to all at your show? Still say find one that does a peroxide IV. The next day you will be glad, and sickened, at what comes out of thee.

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    1. A ton and then some. I've been cleansed but not cured. Nerves, yeah, they're a bitch on wheels. And guess who is not driving?

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    2. Need to kick those nerves into gear or crap them out the rear?

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    3. I'm all for that
      Here at our blog mat

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  5. Oh Blue, Blue, Blue, whatcha gonna do do do
    Don't be mad at me if I talk about poo, poo, poo


    Everyone asks if you went to a doctor. Do you really need another bottle of pills to line your bathroom shelf? If you go to an allopath, that is what you'd get. If they had the knowledge to help you, (cure you) they would have already. You are a person who is really easy to like and I'd really like to see you well and frisky.
    Have you ever been to a colon hydrotherapist? Besides getting down and dirty (of course, a pun) they can do the Live Blood Analysis and that can tell a lot. Maybe you've done all this and then I'll shut mah big mouth and silently steal away in the night. But if you've never had a colonic, what harm would it do to placate an old broad?????????? Mention this to Pat and also ask him about Ken. You are a lucky duck this did not happen in front of students. You are in my thoughts, Mister Blue.

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    1. Cleansed but not cured. You know what they say: a picture is worth more than a thousand words. Well, I've seen all the pictures that I need. Sarco is my best friend - it never leaves me alone. It must like that Elvis song:
      "Hide in the kitchen
      Hide in the hall
      Will never do you no good at ...
      I'm gonna stick like glue
      Yeah yeah because I'm
      Stuck on you..."

      Oh how I loved that song. Past tense.

      Yes, I was lucky. I felt like a moron, but in hindsight I was a lucky moron. Well, you know what I mean. Plus you are easy to like too. I'm sure my sweet plant feels the exact same way :)

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    2. Slink, slink. I'm silently slinking off into the night although I'm still a believer, but not in the fate of the world. That is long gone. When you least expect it, there will be one word, one cure, one person, or one miracle and your cure will be complete. It will happen. Watch.
      Your plant survived the winter. Here's a smiley I just heard. "He feels like a capon on Noah's ark." :) Bad one, I know.

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    3. It survived the winter. That's great.

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  6. Hi Blue....
    Please....take care of you...
    You are the only you...
    And...we need you...
    Thinking of you....

    Linda:o)

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    1. That's so sweet of you to say that. Will do, Linda. Will do.

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    2. Cross my heart and hope to die... just don't stick a needle in my eye :)

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    3. Oh....I would never do that!
      Thinking of you.....often!

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    4. I need to pay you a visit.... right now.

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    5. Blue has to pay the entrance when he visits you, Linda? :)

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  7. I am agreeing with Pat and Manzanita you need to try other options, not all doctors will go the extra step to help you. We are our best advocates, Toxins in the body cause or irritate most of our health issues.. I think you need to rid yourself of some toxins. Ok, just my opinion.

    You are in my thoughts...Maybe, go in one of those sweat lodges and sweat the crap out of you. Seriously, it does bring healing.

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    1. I'm surrounded by a team willing to take the extra mile. The problem isn't the diagnosis - it's the cure. I'm damaged goods. Handsome... but damaged goods ;)

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    2. Handsome..but damaged goods ;) ...aren't we all damaged in some way? You keep on fighting you hear me..put on your cowboy boots and kick that thing in the butt...and it case you forgot..I care..sending love straight at you

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    3. I'm like a blue Rocky Balbao... Now, where's that tune?

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  8. Oh Blue!! I do not like this N word. Please take care.

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    1. Will do. And may I say that I wish I could run like the wind too. I know you can. I've seen the pictures.

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    2. hahaha thanks Blue. I will imagine a little Blue Grumpster on my shoulder when I run the next marathon - I will be cursing all the way up the hills & you will make me laugh being far more eloquent in your description of them than I!!!!!

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    3. It would be an honor to make you laugh as long as I won't have to do the actual running. Someone would have to bury me... ;) So tell me more about your cursing...

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    4. LOL i'll do the running. Cursing goes something like Effing Hill, Effing Bastard Hill, Effing MOFO bastard of a hill......................

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    5. Hahaha I like the sound of that!

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  9. What the hell, Blue? What do you think you're doing, scaring us all like that? Take care of yourself, okay?

    Go see whatever doctor, nurse, holistic herb guy, or voodoo king that you need to in order to get this thing under control. I'll be sending my special healing comfort cookies via carrier seagull.

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    1. A voodoo king...well.... why not? Whatever works, right? I could use some healing comfort cookies via non-cookie-munching carrier seagull.

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    2. Okay, those cookies should be on their way, and I'll send that voodoo guy to you as well. His real name has 57 syllables, but most people just call him "King Brent". You'll have to supply your own goat spleen, though...

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    3. No problem. I'm sure I can order one on Ebay. No?

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    4. Either that or I bet they've got them on Etsy...but those ones would be pretty "glammed out". You know, with rhinestones and glitter. Yeah, you'd pretty much be better off trying eBay. :)

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  10. Things like this caused me to seek out groups, online and offline, for their experience and suggestions on dealing with things. I've found it to be quite helpful. The two doctors I have, don't always have ready answers. It can be doubly frustrating. Sending good thoughts and prayers, my sweet Blue friend.

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    1. Hello Sweetums. Just stopped by to see if you're happy. Busting Hank's pranks at Cat & Pat's... A-Z is almost done. So am I. I'll be popping up like toast tomorrow :)

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    2. Hello Sweetums! I'm happy. And Grumpy. I'm both. It must be genetic.

      I like toast.
      From coast to coat

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  11. Now me, I can't get a word out EvEr where public speaking is involved...

    But yeah, go to a doctor, good advise there. And may it be nothing!

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    1. Public speaking isn't your thing? I'm sure you're not the only one who feels that way :)

      I wish it were nothing.

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  12. oh, shit, Blue... I was just about to send you an e-mail to see if you're all right... and now this.... What do the doctors say? I've lost vision a few times when my pressure and sugar levels drop too low... and was always afraid that it might happen during a lesson too... like having a total blackout during a class....

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    1. Did you say shit instead of spit?

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    2. I allowed myself to say shit instead of my usual POOP .... occasion demands it.
      How is Angelina coping in all this?

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    3. She is as stoic as a blue guy on rum. Seriously.

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    4. Does Mongo notice or sense it somehow, when you're feeling bad?

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    5. Always. He looks at me and then sits right next to me. We often snore together.

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    6. awww...
      Mine cat does not, but he will act happy when I return after being gone for a day or two.... I've read last week about that cat that works as a nurse at a vet's office. She hugs the other animals there who are sick and even sleeps next to them.

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    7. No kidding... That's some kinda cat alright!

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    8. why do comments need approval, Blue? Is that crazy Beatrix on the run again?

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    9. So as not to miss out on your wonderful comments... duh!

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  13. I'm so sorry to read this Blue. I have problems with speech as well, but it's from Essential Tremour as well as being one of the perks of Parkinson's.
    Your Bollywood princess is right, you need the doctor. Keeping you in my thoughts.

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    1. Essential Tremour... say it ain't so. That's gotta be tough. I've got a special tremor myself too. It's the way my brain registers the world, meaning there's a whole lotta shakin' goin' on.

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  14. That's terrifying, particularly in your line of work. I hope the sarco eases up on you and that you see a doctor. Best of luck to you boy-Blue.

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    1. Will do, Pickleope Von Pickleopeland. Thanks.

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  15. OMG, Blue!! I hope your voice recovers. I actually had a very similar experience about two weeks ago. I also lecture and after my Wednesday's lecture I woke up on Thursday and literally could not speak. It truly shocked me because I felt fine and expected words to come out of my mouth but no sound came out!

    I was told to rest my vocal chords. It seems that I have been doing too much talking.

    I am a communicator. So I guess it is a good thing there is always typing instead of talking but that is quite a challenge to be left voiceless. I'm sending you healing vibes!

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    1. Well, my vocal chords are doing just fine. It's my mind that's been playing tricks on me, unfortunately. So now what, right?

      Thanks for sharing that, Lauren. I appreciate your kind words.

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  16. Keep us updated, and yes GO TO THE DOCTOR. That happened to one of my friends in college, she woke up one day and started speaking nonsense even though she thought she was speaking normally, and she could still write normally. She ended up having some weird parasite, but they fixed it right away with drugs. GO GET SOME DRUGS.

    xo

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    1. Well, they will first need to invent those drugs.

      But that's quite a story, Mich. A parasite? The only parasite I can think of is the IRS and maybe a colleague - if you know what I mean.

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  17. That is horrible. Hopefully they find something to help you

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    1. Keeping my fingers crossed too. Thanks.

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  18. Oh, Blue! I am so sad for you! I'm sorry you don't feel well! I hope they can pinpoint what's going on. There's nothing more frustrating than seeing doctor after doctor and having them all scratch their heads and say you're fine, when clearly you aren't. Please take care of yourself!

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    1. Will do, Theresa. Thanks for stopping by.

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  19. Geez, please keep us posted. Sending you good thoughts.

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  20. Holy cow. That is scary as can be. I, too, am glad it did not happen in front of your class. Please take care and get better soon.

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    1. Hey, look who's here. How are your doing today? Yes, that would've been awkward.

      Thanks!

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  21. Blue, this is scary stuffs. I didn't know what this disease was so I looked it up online. Yikes. Then I thought about something my mom started taking recently (and that I plan to try). It does a number of things. She's really excited about the muscle relaxant benefits because she's really tight tight tight. I'm going to try it because it's supposed to reduce stress/anxiety, which is the greatest cause of migraines. I think maybe you should give it a whirl for the same reasons. From what I read about your disease, you can be symptomatic or asymptomatic... depending upon how stressed you are. Maybe something that helps lower your stress would help you remain in the asymptomatic column. I also googled home remedies for that disease. Of course they recommended a homeopathic work-up, but several people said that breathing exercises and yoga were particularly helpful. So, you might want to try that, too.

    Here is the link to the herbal formula I was talking about above. If you try it, let me know...

    http://www.amazon.com/Formula-Maximum-Strength-Natural-Relaxant/dp/B0016KX9SI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1429801711&sr=8-1&keywords=Formula+303

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    1. Hi Robin. Thanks for the link. I've got it in my special collection of pills, right next to my bottle of fucoidan. I need to avoid toxic food (and people) as germs. Stress too. So how is that working for me, right...

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  22. Oh Blue.
    so sorry to hear that. it is indeed scary. hope you fell better soon. i'm sure you're doing all that's necessary for your well-being but here's something i found too. elimination diet worked for me in controlling all the food allergies and digestive issues i've had all my life. get well soon. x
    http://www.mentalhealthonthewebblog.com/2014/08/26/foods-supplements-and-essential-oils-for-lupus-and-sarcoidosis/

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    1. Don't worry about it, Jaya J. It builds character! (It doesn't?) Thanks for the link :) The problem with neurosarco is permanent damage, so you bet I'm stearing clear of toxic food.

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  23. I have been away from Blogsville for a while with my own health issue . . and was shocked to read this . . .

    Oh Blue . . . what a shock that must have been and frightening.
    I am so sorry you experienced that, but mightily relieved your speech has returned. It is almost like a computer fault with something called indexing where alignment of words/experiences in the memory are out of line with words required and the wrong stuff comes out.

    I would like to pray for you if you would agree for me to do so ~ I feel the great physician on high can really help us sometimes.

    It is wonderful you have such a lovely wife to look after you and encourage you.
    Take care my dear friend . . . )

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    1. Just say you're my friend and I'll be feeling so much better, Eddie! So kind of you to want to pray for me. I'm not sure I deserve it, though. Yes, it was frightening as well as embarrassing, but when the list gets longer and longer, embarrassment gets to be the last thing on your mind. Your analogy is spot on.

      Yes, the Missus is my Navigator. That's her nickname.

      I will stop by real soon, okay?

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    2. I'm you friend for sure, Blue
      And you do deserve it, mate . . . everyone does . . .

      She looks really lovely . . . what a treasure she must be . . . has she an unattached twin sister? . . . lol . . . Navigator . . .lol
      See you soon, when you can. I am very lazy because I should have done a few more posts by now . . must be a case of Blog Constipation . . lol

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    3. I'm afraid she doesn't have a twin sister, Eddie. There's just the one. Well, you've seen the picture.

      Blog Constipation... I guess we all know what that's like haha. Sometimes lazy prevents a person from going crazy.

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    4. Glad you are feeling better, Blue ~ seen it in some of your comments. . :

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  24. Wow, we're both really sorry to hear this, my friend. I can only imagine how horrifying that feeling would be. We're both sending you warm fuzzy wishes, happy thoughts, and all of that. Do feel better, yeah? And good luck at the doctor. Hopefully they take good care of you.

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  25. That had to be scary, annoying and confusing. Especially if you didn't know that could happen. I hope it doesn't happen again and glad it didn't stay long.

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    1. Thanks, Mary. Very kind of you to say that.

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  26. You really do need to get to a doctor, Blue. That happened to my brother and he ended up having heart surgery. He's doing great now though.

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    1. In my case that would be brain surgery. Knock on wood.

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  27. Blue Grumpster--

    Oh my that must have been very scary. I cannot imagine how u must feel. Am thinking of you and praying for u my blue friend.

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    1. Don't worry about it, Miss Marples. I'm a blue Rocky. I appreciate the praying. You know that. How are you doing?

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    2. I am well my friend. LIving life as full as I can. I bought two additional knockout roses for my patio grassy area that brings me to a total of three. The first one is blooming like crazy. 75 blooms in one sitting. I am really focusing on decorating my studio and my garden so I can meditate. I decided not to move. Hooray. I don't like packing. And they kept the rent the same. Work is well both jobs. Professor is well. And I am involved in volunteering for four playhouses so my weekends are full of church activities and plays. We will always "worry" about ur health. Don't want our blue friend experiencing pain and the unknown. Prayers and thoughts always for u.

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    3. So you're staying put. Well, good for you. Good to hear the two of you are doing great. Hello, Professor!

      Thanks for your prayers, Miss Marples.

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  28. Omg, Blue. Are you ok? Did you see the Dr? You need to take care of yourself and get answers. Please keep us updated.

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    1. Good morning, Jax. Sure did. Our local hospital is my second home. Let's not make it my first one if you know what I mean.

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    2. Ah dear ! Hope you really fwwl better and the doctor can help you.
      Im sick now but is only an othitis, really hard!

      Hugss!

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    3. Don't worry about it, Gloria Dear. I'm feeling much better now.

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  29. Unsettling, I'm guessing. I'm sorry to hear it happened, sending over a big fat blogger to blogger hug, and hoping it doesn't ever happen again. Maybe new doors are about to open for you, things that will change your life for the good in ways you'd have never expected. I heard someone say once, "Life threw me under the bus. It didn't take me long though, to decide if I had to be affiliated with that bus, that I was going to be the one driving it." :)

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    1. Thanks, Rosey :) Good thing I know how to drive too.

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  30. That would be freaky! I hope it doesn't happen again!

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    1. Freaky... making me squeaky! Thanks, Sherry.

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  31. Gosh Blue! Wondering what happened
    You were MIA for some occasions
    Gave Hank a respite for ten days
    That opportunity came in a daze
    But would rather not have the privilege
    Would rather that you are well always

    Hank

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    1. That's so kind of you to say that, Hank :)

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  32. This breaks my heart Blue and I'm sending healing vibes your way along with a big cyber hug. I hope you've gone to the doctor by now. Please do.

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    1. Thanks for the healing vibes and the cyber hug. It's electrifying haha! Now who said that in Grease? The Doc's is my second home.

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  33. I'm so sorry, Blue :( That must have been as scary as hell. Let me know that you're OK because I will worry. xx

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    1. It sure was. But I'm feeling much beter now, Jules Dear :) Let's toast: "To us... May we be as healthy as we are pretty!" (Yes?)

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  34. Oh Blue. How horribly frightening. I do hope you are okay, and that you let us know what's happening. I apologise for the delay in my comment. Sometimes my brain doesn't kick into gear either ... but I suspect it's for different reasons.

    (Hugs)

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    1. I know, Wendy, but there's nothing I can do about it, so I'll just need to keep my fingers crossed. Never apologize, dear. You are my friend. Full stop. Yeah, let's hope it's for different reasons. My brain is slightly our of order.

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  35. Hope you are doing okay, best wishes!

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    1. Thank you very much. Thanks for stopping by.

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