Damn it! Just as I thought I was doing fine healthwise, the universe felt compelled to flip the proverbial bird on me and put it where the sun don't shine, as they say, when I suddenly realized I was unable to speak. Which is not a good thing when you're a professor like me and you're trying your darnest to earn a decent living by, you know, saying stuff. Speaking. I'm a bit like a politician that way except that whatever I say professionally isn't bullshit. That's right, I'm eloquent on weekdays from 9 till 5.
Well, not so much the other day when Angie, my Bollywood princess, was giving me a strange look that said, "Oh shit. Now what?" We were having breakfast and I was trying to speak when my mouth was strangely out of sync with my blue mind. I was physically unable to squeeze a word out edgeways, and I tell ya, it scared the hell out of me. I did make a few sounds but I couldn't say anything that made sense to Angie or me for that matter. I knew that neurosarcoidosis could stop me right in my tracks — literally. I did not know it could tell my mouth to go all Swedish on me. Whatever I was trying to say, the sounds sure didn't match my inner thoughts. It was like wanting to say "Let's go to Bora" and saying "Llll...Bor.. g.." instead. WTF?
"You need to see a doctor, honey." I guess I do.
So now what? I know sarco can give me a hard time when I type. I sometimes type the weirdest things that I don't even know I'm typing (and it's not the bourbon talking, mind you), and every now and then I just stop walking for no reason. Well, there's a reason. I just don't like it. Good thing I'm rarely in a hurry. So I could be shopping and then all of a sudden it's like I'm walking in wet cement and, yes, it's nearly dry. Not good. But I didn't know Sarcobaby could also disconnect my mouth from my brain.
It took a full hour for my speech to return. What if I had been giving a lecture? What if Angie hadn't been there? Would she have believed me? When will it happen again? And then what? I'm not feeling too well.
So much for the first amendment.
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