MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Sunday, May 17, 2015

On Sequels that Are Reboots and Reboots that Are In-jokes

Oh what to do when, once again, Hollyheads' perspiration does not lead to a great deal of innovation let alone inspiration? Accept it never will? Don't tell me we have seen it all. Don't tell me we can't be surprised in 2015.

Someone gruesomely handsome, green and wise once said, and I quote, that

'the notion that there are these new, original ideas floating around out there, just begging a deaf Hollywood for attention is absurd. If we boil it down, all stories are based on other stories. There are no new ideas if you boil it down far enough.' —PICKLEOPE VON PICKLEOPELAND 

Granted, there is no such thing as a brand new idea  except, of course, when there is one. And I'm even asking for That Which We Have Never Ever Seen Or Thought Of. I just want to be pleasantly surprised. All I'm asking for is some heart and soul for crying out loud, some genuine attempt at anything but a slice of pizza. No conveyor belt movies, please. Not when you dare call yourself inspired. By, well, whatever.

But when rebooted re-imaginations inspiring sequels that need prequels (in search of more money but no inspiration) turn much anticipated adventures into horribly expensive quiz shows because they have crammed in so many in-jokes ('ha ha!') that pull you out of the imaginary world (Aw!) so often that you've been reduced to nothing but a knowledgeable bystander slash contestant in a frigging game show ('Hey, I know what they, the makers of this movie, which is not real, 'cause look, I'm in a movie theater, are referring to!'), when an emotional experience becomes a mental exercise... well, there's something amiss. Like with this sentence.

Enough said. Let's have a look.

Terminator 1 (1984): Mighty strong words, Kyle... I'm impressed.
Terminator 2 (1991): Oh haha I get it. This is one of the director's in-jokes.
Terminator 5 (2015): Okay, I get it. I GET it. Now say you'll be back.
Terminator 2 (1991): Not really possible but still a cool shot.
Terminator 5 (2015): Oh haha you're rebooting that shot from T2 with a twist!
Terminator 1 (1984): What's up, Doc? Oh my God, what are you doing, Mr. Terminator?
Terminator 2 (1991): Pretty impressive! Much better than what we saw in T1!
Terminator 5 (2015): Oh come on! Not again! You've never seen that hand before?
Basic Instinct (1992): Well, hello! I wonder why she's sitting that way.
Basic Instinct 2 (2006): Been there. Done that. Oh it's a homage. Why didn't you say so?
Superman 1 (1978): Final shot of superman smiling at us. He knows this is a movie!
Superman 5 (2006): Don't you dare.... Don't you.... Awwwwww! He did it! It's a reboot!
Indiana Jones 1 (1981): Cool shot of the top secret warehouse where the Lost Ark is hidden!
Indiana Jones 4 (2008): Ah... you want to remind us of how it all began! Now it's a good movie!
Jurassic Park 1 (1993): Oowee! Grrrrrrrreat shot! Look left and right so we believe it's real!
Jurassic Park 4 (2015): Say it ain't so. You call it a sequel. I call it a reboot. Pop quiz!


Now, excuse me...
while I go and reboot...
my rapidly dwindling interest...
in Jeopardy. 

 * * *

The Blue Thing featuring Dezzthingie and Dixiespider (2015)
Too scary! Too green! The creature from Pickleopeland!

And if you're wondering what the heck...
click HERE.

107 comments:

  1. haha could go on all day of the use of the exact same scenes that they reuse on screens. It is the only way they can suck some in, as they take nostalgia for a spin. Hoping people will see the scene and remember it, then they'll go and watch the new prequel/sequel/redo/reboot/remake shit. Toss them all in the loo and flush their wannabe view. But if people would stop watching the junk, maybe they'd get out of their redo everything funk

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It seems to me The Cat knows his you-know-what. His shit. They can go spit. Reboot another big hit. Nostalgia my foot. Go watch the original boot as you hoot.

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    2. The original will do, not some crap that I want to flush down the loo. That ghostbusters reboot sounds totally awful as can be. On it the cat would like to take a pee.

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    3. A Ghostbusters REBOOT??????? Say it ain't so! Now I'm-a have to shoot somebody. No one can replace those guys. No one. And why would you want to?

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    4. haha well it is with four women this time and they are rebooting it like the other two never happened at all. I hope it fails and has a great fall

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    5. I don't believe it! A reboot. Who you gonna call? Ghost booties!

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    6. Booty calls in the night what a fright

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    7. Who you gona call? Melissa McCarthy! Um... maybe not. Keep that booty call.

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    8. Ugg she isn't that funny anyway
      That same old fat jokes on display

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    9. Do, Ray, Melissa... Nope, not a good plan.

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    10. Hey, she could be the marshmallow man
      No cgi to see for any fan

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    11. That's right. And she would still suck ;)

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  2. It's the same in videogame land. There's even a pre-sequel! How do you like them apples!?

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    1. Pre-sequel... is that a fact? Well, their display of wittiness is utterly disturbing. Or should I say refreshing?

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  3. I don't mind continuations, but getting tired of the reboots. There have been more than enough Superman and Spiderman reboots, thanks.
    And as far as continuing the story, I have to admit - Mad Max Fury Road was really damn awesome and even better than the Road Warrior. (Not difficult to be better than Beyond Thunderdome.)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Continuations are fine, I agree, but then one sequel doesn't do great at the box office and they decide to start all over again. How many origin stories can we take?

      The Road Warrior... I remember watching that movie as a kid.

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  4. can I be Dezzrantula? :)
    Wait, instincts were basic two times???

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    1. Great name. I will have to reboot you.

      Yep, twice. I hated the second time. She was trying so hard to 1.remind us of part 1, 2. be as sexy as in part one, 3.look as young as in part 1 while obvious no one - her and the viewer included - could find the energy to go through another round of what in part 1 she called the suspension of disbelief. It just felt all wrong.

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    2. did Sheron cross her legs again? Did the pussy meow again? :)

      I do wish they'd reboot DUNE or FLASH GORDON though

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    3. I don't even remember. That would have been ridiculous, unless she shaved it this time so as to make us understand that times have changed.

      If they rebooted Flash Gordon, they would make it look exactly like all the other superhero movies.

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    4. What? To shave a pussy? What would Mongo say on that?

      Not if they let me play Ming from the planet of Mongo the intergalactic Padishah! A role well deserved, wouldn't you say?

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    5. He'd feel naked. I'd like to see you fly, alright :)

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    6. and I'd look so swell with pointed and upturned eyebrows and a lil' bit of intergalactic eyeliner. I'd even let you play that Hawk people king with wings!

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  5. They should stop making Terminator movies

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    1. Terminate them! Except for 1 and 2. That terminator in 3 looked the part but the music sucked, and everyone else - especially John - was a total miscast. Yes?

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    2. Plus they killed Sarah Connor with cancer, stupid.

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    3. That's right! How lame is that? HOW LAME? And when he said, 'Remember hasta la vista baby?' he made it sound so stupid. Like it really wasn't him who once said those words. Wait... it wasn't him. It was that guy who was not a miscast!

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  6. Terminator 1 was the first movie i ever saw in a cinema with my dad. i was 5 and fascinated with a big screen TV. everything seemed larger than life and i got popcorns and Polo sweets. a curious kitty, i wandered along our row, which was mostly empty. the scenes with the arm and eye were the highlight for me.

    i don't really bother with reboots. i don't even watch a movie twice although i did watch Secretariat 5 times :p

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    1. You were... FIVE? OMG Jaya J! You liked the scene with the arm and the eye???

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    2. lol. yes! he was repairing his own. i was a 5-yr old :p

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    3. Unbelievable! You're so brave. I was 14 at the time (or 13), and the eye freaked me out.

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  7. I think they should 'Ex terminate' all Terminator movies except 1 and 2.
    Yes . . . take the point about reboots.

    I think remake movies suffer the same way ~ usually the original is better.

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    1. Amen. Good to hear from you, Eddie :))

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  8. The Blue Thing, Dezzrantula, and Dixiespider... ooh, we're so fierce and awesomely cute!

    Stand back or I'll bite you.
    Spin a web to fight you.
    Rotate, gyrate, make you my date,
    Put you on my plate
    I'll eat you, ha ha ha!!!

    P.S. This is gonna mess with the bifocals! But I do love the special pigtails! You've drawn completely and wonderfully spider-tingling-ly sexy.
    Yeah, reboot me!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Dezzrantula is a vegetarian spider... we don't eat our victims we just weave them into mummies for our collection

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    2. Say it again, Dixie! I WILL reboot you! Hahaha

      Dezzz how can you be a vegetarian Dezzrantula? I mean, just look at you!

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    3. Dezzrantula only eats dewy violets and lilies of the valley :)

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    4. Why would I waste the silk
      On some ilk.
      Put a fang
      In that thang!

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    5. Who will have the nerve to say... Bite me!

      Exactly. No one.

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    6. I would.... bite me.. eat my shorts....

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    7. "dewy violets and lilies of the valley" oh pfft... send me the pound of flesh!

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  9. That's fine, you can use my out-of-context quote as a basis for your post and illustrate someone else, I won't take it personally.
    I agree with you completely.
    There is a big difference between an homage and a straight up ripoff. Which, and I know this is blasphemy, George Lucas ripped off other movies for Star Wars. And can every movie stop using the Wilhelm Scream?
    Ah, but then again, there are Tarantino movies which I mostly enjoy but are nothing more than pastiches of movie history. I can't reconcile when an homage is paying tribute versus when it is just egregious lack of original inspiration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, if you insist.... There is this outtake I didn't want to reveal to the world. What do you think? Better than the original?

      You're welcome. I will never get those two hours of my life back.

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    2. I'd call those two hours well spent. I would see that prequel to the sequel.

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  10. All of this and not one mention of the shot-for-shot remake of Psycho? I mean, a reboot is one thing, but Gus Van Sant making the exact same movie with the exact same camera angles and dialogue, just different actors, is a special kind of lazy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking about that one, but the director of that reboot tried to duplicate it, which I think is not even worth my time. It only goes to show that duplications may look the same but still be devoid of the intensity of the original. Now, why is that?

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  11. They're re-doing Point Break. I can't believe there's a new Jurassic. I'm not really a big fan of the re-do shows either. I agree let's make it more original and create something new (or like you said, as new as new can be). As for afters...Die Hard instantly comes to mind. They had way to many afters... and only the first one was good.

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    1. Point Break... THIS one? Oh no.... I love that movie. Oh well, I'll just pretend the new one doesn't exist. If it ain't broken, don't fix it.

      Die Hard 1: great. Die Hard 2: great. Die Hard 3... hmmmm there's something wrong with this one. Die Hard 4: give me a break. Die Hard 5: no thank you. Which I think is too bad.

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    2. I didn't hate Die Hard 2. I just didn't think it was as good as Die Hard I. :)

      And yep. that's the Point Break they're remaking. I may ignore the re-do too. We'll see. ;)

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    3. Die Hard 5 was one of the worst movies ever made. There is no saving that series, the first one was one of the best action movies ever. Oh how the mighty have fallen

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    4. Hi Rosey. I was afraid you'd say that. Point Break: The Reboot.

      Yeah, when you come to think of it, it just doesn't make sense.

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    5. Explains the whole 5th movie, made about as much sense as not flushing the toilet when it's full lol kept yapping about being on vacation and the moron wasn't even on vacation

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    6. Akin to not flushing the toilet when it's full... Thanks for the update. I'm eating a chocolate pie. No kidding.

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    7. lol did you still eat
      Your chocolate treat

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    8. Of course I did. I'm a Die Hard.... get it. Part 1.

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    9. As long as you don't get a machine gun
      And go ho ho ho for fun

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  12. Also rebooting gremlins next. That is all hollywood can do

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    1. Ah.. computer-generated Gremlins! With lots of references to the first two.

      I just read an article about it. 'The director said, 'It’s not a remake of the movie at all. It’s a, it’s just a reinvention of it.' That makes me sick. 'Reinvention...'

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  13. Before I comment on this post, I want to say that I read your last post shortly after you wrote it. I sat here at a loss for a comment. I think the topic matter hit just a bit too close to home for me. I either sounded over the top about it all. Or detached. Bah. Anyway, when anyone dies (particularly young) it makes us recognize, once again, our own mortality. How we close we come all the time. How lucky we are that we're still here.

    As for reboots and prequels... I kinda like some of the prequels. I could go on and on and on about Smallville. I freakin' loved that show. I'm also enjoying the CW shows Arrow and The Flash, which could both be considered prequels. Fox has a show out called Gotham that I also like. The "hero" is Jim Gordon instead of Batman (who is just a kid), but also features the "villains" before they were villains. Which is just kinda awesome.

    As for Die Hard.. I loved 1, 2, and 4. I thought 3 and 5 were terrible. Loved the first two Terminator movies.. the rest terrible. BUT, I really liked the Terminator TV show that was on and was cancelled.

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    1. Hi Robin. Thanks for reading my last post as well. I just had to write about it (I did so in class, scribbling on a sheet of paper), but it makes perfect sense to me that it's not an easy one to responds to.

      Series... I'm all for them. I also liked the Terminator series. That one should not have been cancelled. It suppose wasn't mainstream enough.

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  14. Blue,

    Hollywood is obsessed with these reboots because it is quick money..can we just say UGH...

    Why don't these movie people pick up some great books to read and make one of them into a movie? You know there are some scripts out there with the x factor..just saying. Invest some time and money into something new and exciting...take a chance create magic again. Is that possible?

    How many times do we need to see Jurassic Park - overkill..

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Once was enough for me. I don't really mind sequels as long as they add something substantial to what we know about the characters.Sequels (especially 3rd installments) are often about babies or main characters getting married.Lethal Weapon 3 would be a good example. Is that the best they can come up with? Really?

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    2. I agree I enjoy a good sequel as the story continues in a new way it adds a new texture to the storyline. I have put up the money to see a sequel as long as the original story was strong. Well, look at all the money they made off of Star Wars and they are still making..I still enjoy these movies.

      How are you today Blue?

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    3. Tired... grading a ton of papers.

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    4. Grading paper is:
      The.Worst.

      I feel for ya Blue.
      Good Luck

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    5. Thanks, Lauren. It's mind numbing....

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  15. I really don't like reboots, remakes, prequeals or any of those things. Hollywood needs to get a clue and come u with something original.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Money money money.... It's all about the money...

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  16. Look at those 3 little cutie bugs up there. Adorbs! Now, I hate reboots and I hate continuations. But can you blame them? Why come up with original content when the masses flock to the reboots making them millions for doing absolutely nothing new. We only have ourselves to blame.

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    1. Good point. But... you think Dezzthingie and Dixiespider are adorable? I see. ;)

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    2. Dixie once promised her a room in her house so she has to suck up a lil' bit :) And Dezzrantula is just generally adored by the masses.... and she likes you because she just likes grapes and berries...

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    3. Theresa would never do such a thing! As for the berries... you are horrible. Cute in a Dezzrantula way, but horrible.

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    4. If I remember correctly, Dixie, she was gonna put you in the cellar because you snore :) We do gossip a lot about you when you're not present.... now go and search the blogosphere and find it....

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    5. Yes, I do want the better guest room, so suck up to Dixie, I will! I'm not much of a fan of bugs, but want to pinch the cheeks of all 3 up there :)

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    6. Blue, which cheeks did sister Theresa had in mind?

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    7. Dezzzzz, who says I snore? With a bit of imagination you'd think it was a lullaby. A bit loud, granted, but beautiful nevertheless. With a bit of imagination...

      Hi Theresa. I see. So Dezzy wasn't exaggerating... for once.

      Dear Lord, Dezzzzzzy! Why dont you go ask her?

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    8. I probably shouldn't.. she's married, you know.... and her husband might cement me into the deck he's building right now :)

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    9. Is there anything you don't know about people's lives?

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    10. what a strange question to ask of a spy :)

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    11. I know. I guess I'm not as sharp as I used to be.

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    12. me too... me was never sharp... more like always blunt... but not James Blunt. though..... God Forbid..... Maybe Emily Blunt...

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  17. I wish they'd quit rebooting Star Trek and just do a good, quality series. I would love to write sequels to some of the original episodes. They leave you wondering what it would be like to go back to those planets 15 or 20 years later...

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    1. I agree. 100%. Let those creative juices flowing!

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  18. Yeah, Hollywood has no shame. They need to come up with some new stuff that hasn't been done. It's only good the first time (or first sequels), Then when they come back several years later and reboot it's never as good (Terminator, Star Wars...).
    I was just over at Dezzthingie... er, I mean... Dezzrantula's place where I read that there is a Pan movie coming out and.... I just feel like it's been done a million times.
    End. The. Reboots.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Never as good but still profitable. Dezzrantula keeps telling us about reboots. It's really depressing. Good thing he's an okay (not great)... you know, an okay kinda guy.

      Hi Dezz :p

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    2. Well, when Dezzrantula morphs back into Dezmond he is a great guy!!

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    3. Keep your boots on, Blue, there will be new reboots announced soon!

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    4. Great.... really? Dazzzling Dezzzmeister, did you hear that?

      I always keep my boots on. Now, close your eyes and picture that one.

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  19. The Poltergeist remake seems interesting. What bugs me is the superhero thing. You can tell Hollywood just said, "Those comic book fans will see ANYTHING" and once they realized comic book fans and passionate moviegoers are the same group, they saw a chance to cash in. And they just keep on cashing in and cashing in and cashing in...

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    1. Hi Stephanie. A Poltergeist remake? Because Spielberg's movie needs to be topped? I don't get that. Why don't they just make another movie? But you're right, those superhero movies are all about the money.

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  20. Thanks for checking up on me, Blue. I've just been enjoying life and all is well.

    Funny how repetitive things are called throwbacks or tributes when they are really just a copy of the original. But, I still hold hope there are original ideas out there. Somewhere. Look at my book…oh, wait…Godfather, Sopranos…never mind, don't look at my book.

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    1. Don't mention it, Elsie. Always good to hear you're enjoying life, as am I believe it or not.

      I will look at your book. ;)

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  21. I would totally watch the Blue Thing! What really gets me is now they're only waiting 10 years or less to reboot. C'mon!

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    Replies
    1. You would? Dear Lord.... Well, I do look kinda cute wearing that Blue Thing outfit...

      Yeah, you're right. Why do they need to reboot something that hit movie theaters less than ten years ago?

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  22. I don't mind reboots but they have to be interesting and give it a new perspective ~ If its done over and over again with no new story line, I love interest quickly ~

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    1. Hello, Grace. How are you today? I agree.... in the end it all boils down to one thing: is it any good?

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  23. Totally agreed - there are only a few stories in time but there are novel ways of telling them. It might take a little more daring but I say it's worth it

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    Replies
    1. Daring and caring. A little bit of both.

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