MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Friday, August 21, 2015

When the Demon Stares You in the Face

Oh what to do when episodes of perceived craziness were in fact episodes of extreme clarity — episodes which, unbeknownst to you, hinted at an unfathomable and horrible truth? I've spent half my life thinking I wasn't crazy that night. I've relived those eerie moments many, many times. I have often tried to bury (in the remotest corners of my mind) the memory of what I witnessed almost 25 years ago. Memory, be gone. Be gone. So far unsuccessfully. 


Today I was reading a couple of Roger Ebert reviews when I came across a review of The Nightmare (2015), a top-notch documentary or so it seemed about a mysterious phenomenon called sleep paralysisSleep paralysis? Now, wait just a minute... 'People describe lying in bed, awake, unable to move. There is a tingling sensation, like static, like nerve endings shorting out from overuse. People describe a feeling that something is approaching, from behind them, or towards them. Along with that approach comes an overwhelming sense of evil...' Reading those words stopped me right in my tracks. There's a name for it! I'm not crazy! I looked at Angie, who was siting right next to me, watching her screen. I said, 'There's a name for it! There is a name for it! I'm not crazy!' Angie gave me a look that seemed to doubt the very thing I wanted to convince her of and, seconds later (two or three), resumed her endless fascination with online makeup shopping. Ka-ching! I didn't care. There was a name for it. And once again I was transported back to autumn 1990.

I had just been dumped by Her Whose Name We Don't Pronounce and considered myself a failure of epic proportions. I hated my life, I hated her even more, and figured hell couldn't be much worse. Not that I actually believed there was such a thing as hell. But did that stop me from writing about the hottest place in town, a place so hot it made Venus seem like a popsicle in your favorite butthole? No, it didn't, and pardon my Swedish. I must be temporarily possessed. I'm positive I was back then. All I did was write angry poetry and thumbtack each poetic outburst to the walls of my pathetic little room. The place was like a shrine devoted to the emptiness of nothing. Deep down inside I knew one of the reasons why She Whose Name We Don't Pronounce had left me was her deep-seated hatred for my unrelenting blues. I sighed. I cursed. I felt hollow. I fell asleep.

I woke up.

It was three A.M. My ceiling looked great. So peaceful and white. Life... was great. Life... And then it hit me. She is gone. Everything you thought you had you have no more. Life is different now. That ceiling looks... and then it happened. I felt a presence in my room. (I feel my eyes tear up just typing this.) I felt the hairs on my body stand up. I kept staring at the ceiling. I had no choice. I couldn't move. There was somebody. Somebody was looking at me. I tried to move my head so I could see. I couldn't. I tried to scream. I couldn't. I tried to whisper, 'Mama, there is someone in my room,' but nothing happened. I was paralyzed. The thing just stood there, looking down on me. It was big and ugly. It seemed to feed on my despair. It was black and white and grey just standing there on the left side of my bed, challenging my peripheral vision as if knowing exactly how much I could and couldn't see. I was cold. I was terrified, tears rolling down my cheeks, and it kept looking at me, staring at me, up close. I felt small and meaningless. I tried to make a sound. I could move my eyes but not my body. My legs were dead. My arms, they weighed a ton. My hands were there — I could feel them. I had to do something. I had to find a way to make a sound and wake the others. Is this me? Am I the deer that's caught in the headlights? Except there was no light. The thing was so big I had a hard time believing it could be standing there and not hit the ceiling. It just looked at me and looked at me and looked at me. If only I could move my right hand or maybe just a finger and touch the radiator and make a sound that everyone would hear. I gathered all my strength. I concentrated on my index finger. It was hard. It was surreal. How hard could it be to move that finger? Any finger? Forget he's there. Concentrate. Move that finger. Move that finger. Move it, damn it! CLANG!

And poof... it was gone, never to return. I could move again. I could speak again, and whoever I told this story of course didn't believe me.

I wiped my eyes. I tried to rationalize what I had witnessed. I knew it wasn't a dream. I just knew. That same day I called Dorothy, a friend of mine, and told her what had happened. Dorothy I knew was a spiritual woman. She was the most spiritual woman in town. Unlike me, she believed in God and angels and had told me more often than I had cared to listen that hell was very real indeed. She knew every religious song in the book and prayed on a regular basis. She was a Christian woman. Yes, sir, if there was anyone who would believe my story, it had to be Dorothy. But she didn't believe me. She assumed it had all been a dream. A nightmare. She reasoned away the likelihood of my alleged encounter and told me to forget about it. Well, more or less. I thought that was very ironic. The most religious person in town did not believe I'd been visited by an evil... something. Isn't it ironic? I said, 'You all believe in the devil, but when I of all people tell you he was standing right next to me, it had to have been a dream. That's just great.' That week I went to church, the first time in years. I cried so many tears you'd have thought I'd soon be running out of them, which, frankly, I did.

Seven years down the line I watched the movie Contact (1997) starring Jodie Foster. Toward the end of the movie, the character she played — a scientist who refused to believe in God unless there was proof — tried to convince everyone around her she had experienced something extraordinary, something she, a scientist, could not explain, something she would have consigned to the realm of fantasy and dreams had anyone told her the exact same story. She said, 'I had... an experience. I can't prove it. I can't even explain it. All I can tell you is that everything I know as a human being, everything I am — tells me that it was real.' I could relate.

Fast forward to August 2015. I realize there are more people who have been through the same thing. There's even a name for it. Sleep paralysis. I've read the scientific explanation. 'Sleep paralysis is a parasomnia resulting from dysfunctional overlap of the REM and waking stages of sleep.' That makes perfect sense to me. When we're asleep our muscles relax and when there's a problem you may end up being awake, mentally, when your body isn't yet. What it doesn't explain is the shadow man leaning over our collective bed. It doesn't tell me why everyone is seeing an evil being that stares them in the face. What if these scientists are wrong? What if all the clues are there but I'm too blind to see? I don't want to rush toward the end of my life realizing I've lived my life like a blind man playing with his stick. What makes me sick is that I smugly feel the experience has made me special in some way, but at the same time it's terrifying to relive that night all over again and to suspect there was more to it than what scientists are trying to make me believe.

This much I do know: fear should not be a reason to believe. Am I wrong?

* * *

'What's with the tears, you little wimp?' HERE'S the trailer if you want to know what it was like.

100 comments:

  1. What a freaky experience.
    While there might be an explanation for what happened to your body, there was obviously more at work there. I am a Christian, and demons are just as real as Angels. If that was indeed what visited you that night.

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    1. Freaky is the right word to describe it, Alex.

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  2. Jeez, Blue, my heart would have stopped right then. I'd still be babbling incomprehensibly.

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    1. Sandra, who says Blue still isn't babbling incomprehensibly? :)

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    2. LOL. I just saw Dez's response:) Dez, you're a hoot.

      Seriously, Blue, that is really scary. Years ago I saw someone (or thought I did). He wasn't evil and it still terrorized me.

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    3. A hoot that needs a reboot! :p

      Yeah, it was scary, alright. You saw someone?

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    4. I wonder who would play me in a reboot? Any guesses?

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  3. There is a type of epilepsy, as well as a type of migraine, which cause the sufferer to have 'heavenly' visions of light, angels, etc... Hildegarde of Bingen is one example. If one is possible, than so is the other.

    I have had episodes of parasomnia and view it thus: Waking to complete paralysis is terrifying, especially when one has no idea of what is happening or why. We are, in a sense, naked before our own gaze... and something deep within us fears being helpless before the predator which is ourselves. By making the fear into something outwith ourself we are, in a sense, saving our own sanity.

    Just as with the epileptic visions of heavenly grandeur protect us from being overawed by the beauty we are, and have all around us. Being lost in ecstatic vision isn't helpful when a hungry lion is stalking you.

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    1. You've had episodes of parasomnia? Did you also have this tingling sensation, like static, all over your body?

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    2. Yup. The 'staticky' noise as well.

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    3. You too? All those years I thought I was the only one. This is so weird.

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  4. Damn, that would sure suck
    Scientists do tend to pass the buck
    Maybe your eyes got screwed up too
    And they saw things at your zoo?
    If you go the science way
    Maybe demons came to play
    A mothman or two?
    Some alien after you
    Either way, freaky as can be
    Not something anyone wants to see

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    1. It sucked a ton and more
      When that damn thing came a-knockin' on my door
      Wish I could've made it eat the floor
      My eyes were fine at the time
      I didn't even feel compelled to rhyme
      Freaky as hell
      I couldn't even yell

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    2. Maybe it thought you were freaky too?
      Ever think of that at your zoo?
      Just wanted a good look
      Froze you so you wouldn't bash it like you would a crook

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    3. Think about it all the time
      And then I feel the need to rhyme
      And say things like snip snip
      Before I take that jolly good kip
      And get spooked by a furry cat
      Looking down on me wearing a Hatt :p

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    4. A cat wearing me
      That would be freaky
      Be interesting to know what's in this world and the next too
      But could be some scary shit that comes due

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    5. If there is a next one
      Isn't this one... fun?

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    6. Yeah, and if not
      We won't know as we rot

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    7. Damn, not something to look forward to
      I'd rather be blue or eat a shoe

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    8. Bah, we all gotta go
      Hopefully it's still a ways off though

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    9. More than a mile
      May it take a while

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  5. of course i've had the same experience. I have vivid dreams every single night, Blue. but there were incidences like this where I've been left feeling a bit creeped out. mostly this type of experiences have only occured to me in the previous home we have lived.

    there was one particular incident in which i saw myself away from my body. it was surreal i freaked out when I actually woke up but during the process, i was unable to move or bat an eyelit just like you. It was like I was away from my body and I went to see the bedroom and living room as they were but i was still on bed. so creepy i tell ya. I still do believe it was sleep paralysis but still, man it's unpleasant.

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    1. sometimes, i have a fear of going to bed due to this. but after my hearing loss, I've developed the explosive head syndrome. lol. it simply means that sometimes just before I fall asleep, I hear this huge exploision in my head. it's terrible. i'm immediately up, terrified and shaking. i have fear of going back to sleep after that, later causing insomnia.

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    2. it doesn't cause pain, it's entirely psychological in terns of causing me unrest.

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    3. Why am I not surprised that you had a similar experience. But here's what I'd like to know: was there a shadowman? Oh no... say it ain't so: you've developed explosive head syndrome? If memory serves, the docs don't even know what causes it, right? Why you, Jaya J? But you can still hear, right? I mean, I knew you had hearing problems and that you were no stranger to tinnitus like me but you can still hear, right? Right?

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    4. yes, i can hear from the other ear, but it can be difficult when i'm outdoors and there're background noises or when a few people are talking at the same time. however, i'm grateful i still have a good ear.
      lol. no one knows why exactly some people have e.h.s.
      hope you're well, Blue!

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    5. One good ear sure beats zero good ears. So basically you have the same problem as people who have one good eye: no stereo sound in your case. I have this horrible stereo noise in my head, though. Wouldn't mind losing 50% of that.

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  6. I watch/read enough supernatural stuff I should be a believer. There have been times in my life where the hair on my arms has stood on end & I've felt terror take hold........not to the point of paralysis though. Rational or irrational? My own madness or not. Couldn't tell you!!!! But I believe you.

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    1. You believe me. That makes you the first in 25 years. :)

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  7. Freaky experience Blue!!! It could have been a evil demon or a good angel!! You never know. Hopefully it was your guardian angel:-))

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    1. It didn't feel like I was being stared at by a guardian angel. :(

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  8. That must have been some experience no doubt.

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    1. Not even Bora Bora can make me forget about it.

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  9. Not an experience I'd care to ever have

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    1. What I needed was a friendly ghost who could flip it the bird.

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  10. Good grief, Sleep Paralysis seems terrifying. I can understand why that experience would haunt you. I understand that at the time the internet wasn't around, but all this time and you didn't feel compelled to Google it? I just did a search for "can't move evil being standing over you" and the first result is Sleep Paralysis. This mystery could have been solved without the help of Roger Ebert's ghostly writings.
    To answer your question, you are correct, fear should not be a reason for believing.

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    1. No, I never felt compelled to Google it. I'd accepted the fact that I was momentarily insane. It's something you don't want to be reminded of.

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    2. P.S. I've read your 80's patrol post but my comments were sent straight to some 80's slammer, I bet.

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  11. Yup. Happened to me. Woke up to see a shadow in he corner of my bedroom staring at me. It's mouth was open so wide. Weird teeth and blurry eyes. It slid closer to me, mouth open, eyes blurring. All I could do was cry and telepathically scream for my mother.

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    1. Telepathically scream for your mother. I know what you mean. Did it help?

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  12. That could be an extremely frightening experience and especially since you felt
    the fear, it must have been something evil. I do out of body travel and the first time I was frightened but only for a monent, because I realized it was something spiritual
    and beautiful. I do feel paralized for a short time afterwards and I always have a stiff
    neck. After my first one, I read one of Monroe's books and he always has the same
    symptoms. Who knows what lurks around us.

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    1. You do... what? Wait. I'm gonna have to read your comment again.

      You do what? (My eyebrows are now touching the ceiling.) Tell me more about your travels.

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  13. It might be the Satan alnaughty calling you to join his forces :) Or it could've been me just haunting you to pass the time :)
    At least the thing didn't rape you... in one of the episodes of NIP/TUCK Doctor Christian comes back home, gets totally paralysed and then an intruder rapes him while he is aware but cannot move a finger.

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    1. Very funny. Well, I nearly pissed my pants. :p

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    2. maybe that NIP/TUCK thing can give a nice idea to Angie next time this happens to you? :) I mean unless you're paralysed all the way down...

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    3. yes, but if you was paralysed stiff it wouldn't be a problem in that scenario :)

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    4. I do like these names you've been giving me in this post from bozo to nut to pundit.... you may proceed :)

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    5. Dazzling Dezzmeister from Pluto. How are you today? I've accomplished my mission. Just need to grade a stack of essays and I'm done. How about that?

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    6. you mean the summer is over? When does the new school year start? Ours on Monday

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    7. That's what I mean, yeah. Unfortunately. Two more weeks.

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  14. If she dumped you, then her name was Moron. I have never experienced sleep paralysis, but occasionally I have nightmares so terrifying that I awake in the middle of talking to someone in the nightmare.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. That's kind of you to say that, Janie, but I was a darker shade of blue and difficult to be around. Call it the stupidy of youth.

      You have nightmares? Sigh. Ever wondered where they come from?

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  15. Gosh, Blue, what a vivid account, very well written, of such a terrifying experience. I believe you did see something because at that moment your defences were way down and you were helpless. Demons are fallen Angels and it could well have been one trying to torment your soul. They belong to Satan and the forces of darkness but their opposites are the Elect Angels who outnumber the Demons 2 to 1. Demons and Satan are doomed and they know it, but not yet. I believe we all have a guardian elect angel ~ if it happens again call on your guardian angel ~ he/she will help you and the forces of light are very much stronger because they and we have the most powerful person in and outside the universe, Jesus himself. Or just call on him and the demon will flee. For the Christian we can command them to flee ourselves because we belong to Jesus. All this is totally difficult to accept from an intellectual point of view, in fact impossible. It has to be done through Faith and that comes from the power of The Holy Spirit and the only way he will come is for a person to accept Jesus into their lives. There is a constant struggle in this world between the forces of darkness and light but eventually light will be victorious. At the moment Satan rules this world, so we are all born into darkness, that is why there is so much evil around, but he does not get it all his way because there is still a lot of goodness around by those who have chosen Jesus. Satan knows he cannot win the final battle . . . . the reason he is not defeated now is that he is needed so that each one of us can of our own free will choose either Jesus or stay with him. We are born into an evil world and the only way out is through choosing Jesus.

    I don't think you have to be afraid to believe ~ a gentle voice says to everyone, Knock and the door will be opened to you! . . and if any of us accept Jesus's invitation, the door of light will be opened to us. . . it is not particularly noticeable because this is in the spiritual world but at that moment we are untouchable because we belong to Jesus.

    Anyway that is what I believe . . . it is up to everyone to decide for him/herself.
    I did not mean this to turn into a sermon . . so sorry but it is a very difficult and complicated subject and involves all the major players to try to explain a point of view.

    I hope you don't get such a frightening experience again. If it happened to me I go to sleep so darned fast, I would not even see him, and I take my hearing aids out so I would not be able to hear him. But my guardian angel would not let it happen anyway. . . :)

    Very well written, Blue, quite gripping and I could tell you were terrified. . . :)

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    1. I appreciate your sermon, Eddie, and I appreciate your kindness. Thank you for taking the time to share your views with me. It means a lot. So what you're saying is that these experts are full of it, right?

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    2. Just read Azra's comment. I would agree entirely with what she says. Demons feed off fear and laughing at them does remove their power. And God did create Satan . . . he was the top Angel but rebelled taking a third of the angels with him as fallen Demons. If he wanted to he could annihilate them all in a flash, but he is using them for Salvation as I try inadequately to explain . . . :)

      The experts are just mere mortals , , :)

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    3. Aren't we all? I'm always surprised that mere mortals seem to know so much about good and evil and 'rules' while surely all of us don't know anything. All we can do is believe. Do you know what I mean, Eddie? All my life I've tried to be a good person. I hope that counts for something.

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    4. Yes I am sure it counts for a lot . . :)
      And yes all we can do is believe . . . unfortunately there is no proof so we know for sure about these things from an intellectual level . . .:)

      Anyway I rabbited on enough . . . hope the 'thng' does not return. If it does, Say, "Boo!"

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    5. And we all know our intellectual level is less than impressive in the greater scheme of things. That much I do know ;) I hope I'll never see/feel it again.

      Thanks, Eddie :)

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  16. That should be published, Blue. You literally had me at the edge of my seat.

    While I have not had this experience awake (at least I don't think I have), I've had several terrifying dreams with the same concept. Something was after me and I couldn't move or scream. I've had other dreams where I wake up and continue my daily dream only to find out that I didnt really wake up at all. So I yell at myself "Wake up!!!" Until I do just that and continue my daily routine only to find out again I never really woke up. This cycle continues for several laps and all I remember is thinking, is this was death is like?? Unable to wake up but your mind wants you to?? I was able to think and talk to myself. I was fully concious in my own dream.

    Ok, I'm slowly backing away from this depressing conversation. I'm sorry you had this experience, but it's proof that there is something out there (whatever it is). Maybe it was a sick, demented calling to get you back on your feet!

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    1. But I did publish it, Jax. I published it right here, free of charge for everyone who's interested. But I know what you mean and I have to say that I don't care about that kind of thing. Thank you for the compliment though. Just writing down what I remember.

      Thanks for sharing your dreams. I don't think that's what death is like. I think it's like how it was before you were born. But what do I know, right? What does anyone of us really KNOW about death except that it's the one thing that's inevitable.

      Maybe it is proof that fear makes us see things that aren't there. Maybe.

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  17. Fear is a strong motivator and I too have had the sleep paralysis experience. Dreams are not something that I dismiss too lightly; sometimes you're correct, it's your subconscious telling you something

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    1. You too? With or without the shadowman?

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  18. Sleep paralysis
    A feeling of helplessness
    There was some basis
    of mental tiredness
    Perhaps one fearful episode
    During the day
    Could wreck the mood
    Lingering in dismay
    Lying staring in bed
    Not in deep sleep
    But wide awake
    Baffling indeed!

    Hank

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    1. Hello, Hank!
      The one and only Poetry Tank
      Wide awake I was, yes sir
      Nothing's a blur
      Wide awake
      Not given a break
      But that was then
      No more shadowmen
      Knock on wood
      In my neighborhood

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  19. Mr. Blue...from a spiritual Islamic perspective, that black shadow is what we call Jinn. The Jinn exist in a parallel world and they are like spirits/demons etc. Some of them are good, some of them are evil. When sleep paralysis happens to me I usually pray or I laugh, laugh right at them. Or I imagine a red clown nose on whatever is looking at me and me poking it... It's fear the darkness feeds off... laughing brings in the light. And usually when an evil Jinn sees that you're not afraid, they lose all their power. But that's just what I believe.

    To believe in God is to know that He created ALL good and evil... in popular culture, God is always pitted against the Devil, as if God and the Devil are equals... but in Islam is is emphasized that God created the Devil. So the only ultimate true power is the power of God. We can't worship out of fear of things we don't know or can't explain, but out of love for God and His power.

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    1. "We can't worship out of fear of things we don't know." The thing is... nobody knows. We just choose to believe and I respect that 100%, you know that. We've talked about our differing views for years now. That includes human beings' ego-centric need for there to be more. Thanks for sharing your views here too. I know many of our friends will agree with you. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. I hope not.

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  20. I've experienced the same... more than once. One of those times my cat hissed at the entity, so I knew it wasn't just in my head.
    I studied psychology in uni and REM sleep, sleep paralysis etc was part of it (not talking about the sleep I caught during lectures). There was no mention of the nasties coming to visit, of course. I think they are two separate things, ie, sometimes it is just simple sleep paralysis, that time between wake and sleep and sometimes it's not.

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    1. and sometimes it's just the beans Blue ate for dinner..... just saying.... it's scientific...

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    2. Hi Lynda. I have always suspected they are two separate things, too, but I'm no expert.

      Dezzz... behave.

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    3. My advice to you, Dezzy Dear, is don't eat beans just before bed. ;)

      Oh and Blue! I remembered the actual scientific term for it: hypnogogic hallucinations (but I still think there are nasties about just to keep things interesting).

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    4. That's what I call sound advice, Lynda.

      Hypnogogic hallucinations... I had no idea. Thank you.

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  21. I used to experience sleep paralysis when I was younger. I've had nightmares every night for more than 35 years and I used to have Night Terrors and hit my husband in my sleep. Now I jut have nightmares and they don't bother me as much as they used to.

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  22. That really sounds terrifying! And I'm sorry to hear the one person you thought you could turn to for answers or support brushed you off.
    Now, I don't believe in Heaven, Hell and all that jazz, but I'm not entirely sure we just cease to exist once we are dead. There are so many unexplained things in this world, who's to say there really wasn't a big, creepy dude standing next to you?
    Sleep is weird. Dreams are weird. I fell asleep on my couch the other day, and woke up well before my body did, however, I couldn't open my eyes or move. I heard everything going on around me and sat there for a few minutes thinking, "This must be what it feels like to be in a coma!"
    I had a dream my dad was going to die. Everyone told me I was crazy. A year later, he passed away. Last week I dreamed the grocery store refused to take my 50¢ coupon. I woke up pissed (it takes so little to anger me these days lol). Don't you know, later that day, those bastards at Meijer didn't scan one of my 50¢ coupons.
    The point is, I think there's a lot more in this world that even science can't touch just yet. Someday there may be a reasonable explanation for what happened to yet. I'm just glad to hear you realize you aren't alone.

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    1. I guess we have a lot in common, Theresa... except maybe for the fact that you are, you know, sweet and kind. Thanks for the wonderful comment. So those bastards at Meijer didn't scan one of your 50¢ coupons? That's just plain rude!

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    2. Nah, I'm just sweet and kind online. I'm sure you'd run for the hills if you met me in person ;)

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    3. Well, since my glass is half full, I'd consider what you just said a great way to lose some weight. How about that? Just don't paralyze me, okay?

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  23. I had a similar experience when I was about 12 and was laughed at, ridiculed, scorned and teased because of it. I later embellished it a bit because it still scared the snowflakes out of me and because I wanted someone to believe me. For that I was labeled a little too imaginative and perhaps a bit off the deep end. So I've gone all these years thinking I was crazy and perhaps too imaginative, and now I learn it has a name.

    I wanted back then to have an OBE like Manzanita, but I could never get it to work.

    I frequently dream I'm falling, and the anticipation of hitting the ground wakes me up, usually with a jump. My little brother used to tell me (when we were still kids) that if you hit the ground while you dream you are falling, you die. I'd always ask, "How do you know that???"

    Kids...

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    1. Laughed at, ridiculed, scorned and teased... Say it ain't so :(

      Ask for your question, nobody knows.

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  24. Poets United's interview
    You may wish to see it, Blue!

    http://poetryblogroll.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-of-week-update-with-kaykuala.html

    Hank

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    1. Thanks, Hank! Good morning. Or am I still dreaming?

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  25. I know you warned me away from this post, but I just couldn't control my own curiosity. (However, I did NOT watch the video. No need to invite nightmares, am I right?)

    Interestingly enough, our bodies are actually paralyzed from the neck down while we sleep. It's to keep us from acting out our dreams. When people do act out their dreams, it indicates a serious problem. What's interesting in your case is that the exact opposite seems to have happened. You were awake, not dreaming, but you couldn't react or move in any way. That had to be utterly terrifying.

    I believe in demons, the devil, angels, and God. I also believe that any of them could choose to visit a person if they chose to do so. It's a horrifying thought, but I definitely believe that it's all very real--the good, and the bad.

    I guess what I'm trying to say here, in my own patented, rambling fashion is that I believe you. You're surely not the only person to have experienced something like that, and you certainly won't be the last.

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    1. You are right and, yes, it was terrifying. Thank you for believing me, Candice. I hope I was the last, but that's the same as hoping to live forever.

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  26. I've experienced this sleep paralysis before. It's really weird! It's like you're awake, but you're not.

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  27. God, that sounds terrifying...I haven't experienced that but have friends who have. It's a real thing, for sure. I'm sorry you went through that.

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  28. Holy crap!!! How odd that you published this just 3 months before I did. I'm sorry this happened to you but it's oddly comforting to know I'm not alone. Though I didn't have the paralysis and I was able to scream. And scream. And then keep screaming. And how do you really explain that feeling of abject terror when you can almost tangibly FEEL the evil in the room? I've read most of the comments here and it is most definitely NOT a guardian angel. Positive forces don't instill the feelings that come with these particular experiences. Whatever it is, I hope to never experience it again.

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    1. Holy crap! You can say that again. I agree. It was not a guardian angel.

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  29. My boyfriend and I have been seeing the same staring demon.I can feel it in the house while I'm awake. Staring at us. We need help. It is really strong & is affecting us. It stares straight at my forehead & thru the back of my head with a strong vibe & I can hear it move. Help?

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  30. I have experienced this too, with the Shadow Man. Scares the bejesus out of me. Did not know there was a "technical" term for it. Have not had it happen for a while. Seemed to stop once I started sleeping on my couch versus my bed. Horrible. Now watch... it will probably happen tonight! Ack.

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