MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Does Your Money Have Wings the Size of Texas?

Oh darn, my money has wings. It tends to fly right out the window the moment the Powers That Be decide to put my name on it. I must be doing something wrong, but here I go again.


Are you familiar with the notion of a perfect storm? And when I say 'familiar,' I don't mean, have you read about it or heard other people talk about it. When I say, are you familiar with stormus perfectus, I mean, do you know what they're like from personal experience? Oh I hope not. As I write this, the perfect wind is trying to turn my not-so-perfect hair into a wig that clearly needs to be elsewhere, and the tears that I have left in this thick skull of mine seem to want to exit Casa Bluehead and join the rain instead. Not that I am crying. Like Cameron Diaz in The Holiday, I'm a stranger to teary eyes. I'm terrible at it, but not for lack of trying. I'm fully aware I have heap loads of reasons to start giving the PC approved tear dropping business a super serious shot. For when my car breaks down, people, a whole lot of other things seem to think this is the right time to start breaking down too. You may know what that's like.

You don't? Well, la-di-da. Now, go find yourself some wood to knock on. Rock hard oak will do unless you can't afford it, like moi today. (Moi is French and some folks actually speak it. Did you know?)

You see, the thing with perfect storms is that they're so perfect they can sneak up on you like a vengeful ex on steroids, and you would never know she's there until it's too late. Ka-ching! I mean that in a PC approved way, of course. There are herds of ball bearing exes too, though I have yet to meet them in person. Ka-ching! Now, show me the money! Ninja storms aplenty, I tell you, and these past few days have all — each single one of them — been about one bill leading to another bill leading to another bill.

Allow me to elaborate. Here's the tip of the iceberg. My car, Bob, needed a new gear belt. No, not this kind of belt:

Check out my new gear belt

But when my favorite mechanic was in the process of digging deep down inside the entrails of my beloved car (and my pockets to the amount of $440), he stumbled upon yet another problem which would cost me an additional $100. Meanwhile, it turned out that the three $55 a piece remote controlled led spotlights I had ordered to complement my never ending project, a closet — you may remember I started building said present for my Bollywood Princess half a year ago after moan proofing our walls — were, surprise, surprise... out of stock, and the only other option they could offer me (if I was partial to their particular style, and, dammit, I was), would cost me an additional $65, not to mention the fact that because of the delay my precious days off went up in smoke (add $500). It's not like my boss felt compelled to say, 'Blue, buddy, those days off that went up in smoke are on the house... because we like you so much.'

So I sat down for a while pondering the universe and my fresh stack of bills, and asked myself the all-important question: who is to blame... the universe or me? Let's not even go there. I know it is me. But it's always easy to look back, analyze a situation and present your diagnosis free of charge. The trick is to see that perfect storm heading your way, and I, for one, still don't know how to do just that. Vanity dictates that I refuse to believe it's sheer stupidity.

Humor me. How do you clip those money wings of yours?

* * *
Yes, I'm clipped. What's your point?

124 comments:

  1. What is that, a chastity belt?
    Stormus perfectus, huh? I had forgotten I had taken Latin when I was young.
    At that time every one had to take Latin, even those of us who didn't want to be
    alter boys.
    So the big wind came and blew the money away. unhuh. I get it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Latinus isus easyus. Yes, the big wind can be merciless, Manzanita. How's our plant coping with the cold wind these days?

      Delete
  2. In other news - you're still alive!
    So are we buying a new car or fixing the old one?
    You mean the wardrobe still ain't done? Are you? With it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm breathing. It ain't a pretty sight but my heart still goes out to all of you friendly folks out there in the blogiverse and beyond. We're fixing Bob, is what. Nope the closet isn't ready yet. Not yet. I'm getting there.

      Delete
    2. Poor Bob, we all need fixing sometimes, good news for him is that he at least can get spare parts, no?

      Delete
    3. if Bob ever gets a son or a daughter, what model you reckon it would be?

      Delete
    4. as if you need such ride! Where'd you drive it in small Holland?

      Delete
    5. I'd move to Ohio and wreak havoc! Or I could buy a car that those Dutch people love so much.... a Prius. Yikes.

      Delete
    6. or you could buy a bicycle :)

      Delete
    7. I've no idea, I'm just talking silly.... maybe a unicycle? Although I wouldn't know what that is either... or a hover board? How cool would your suit jacket fly behind you on a hover board?

      Delete
    8. I once saw the real hoverboard. Yes, THIS one. Much to my annoyance, the damn thing didn't even fly. Maybe I was too heavy.

      Delete
    9. Mongo would certainly love a hoverboard for sure

      Delete
    10. He's too heavy. That hoverboard wouldn't get off the ground.

      Delete
    11. Mine Ignatius has been wandering of lately... you can feel February has approached :)

      Delete
    12. Is that what you taught him to do, Dezzyman?

      Delete
    13. I think he has love problems for sure.... He was very timid first two years and then last year finally became a true tomcat and started chasing all the other wandering tomcats away from his territory, so we are stranger cat free zone now :) but I do think he needs a lady for himself.

      Delete
    14. So basically he's the king of ding-a-ling, just no lady to show it off to?

      Delete
    15. Exactly, I need to find him a cat brothel or something

      Delete
    16. Sounds like an expensive undertaking to me, Dezzzman. Or are we talking a potentially (pun intended) lucrative enterprise?

      Delete
    17. I don't know, you tell me, you live in the land of red light districts :)

      Delete
    18. Poor Angie has not been feeling well, Dezz.

      Delete
  3. Sorry! Seems when it rains, it pours when it comes to money pits.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remember that movie... The Money Pit? It was funny after a couple of beers...

      Delete
    2. haha - that movie is hilarious...beer or no beer..but, dang one can relate to the woes...

      Delete
    3. HELLO LINDA! Believe it or not... I may have had the hots for Shelley Long. I wonder why.... CLICK!!! Oh now I remember....

      I just found out that the actor who played The Maestro died at the age of 45 :(

      Delete
    4. The Money Pit was fun to watch
      Hello Again they also didn't botch.

      Delete
    5. It sure ws fun
      Even got to see a bun

      Delete
  4. Ugg been there done that
    So no lad di da for the cat
    Been there a few time actually too
    So not fun at any zoo
    The car isn't always on you
    Sometimes it just want to lose a screw
    Then poof, bites the dust
    In money flying away I trust

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No la-di-da you say?
      Not even today?
      How about Sunday?
      No la-di-day?
      How can this be
      In the place to be?
      No rich girl to help you out
      As you twist and shout?
      No PC woman to sponsor you?
      No lad-di-shoe?
      Life stinks!
      Mel was right
      But never give up without a fight
      Or a sniff
      Like Biff and Griff

      Delete
    2. La di da days
      Are lost in a maze
      No rich or PC
      Anywhere near me
      Mel lived in the dump
      But beats a Biff or Griff manure stump

      Delete
    3. Biff, Griff and Mad Dog too
      It runs in the family, Scooby Doo!

      Delete
    4. A repeat family tree
      There for all to see

      Delete
    5. Or a toad
      On the road
      Or a fox
      In a box
      Or a chick
      On a stick

      Delete
  5. Blue,

    First, I have to say you are looking rather sharky in that bluesmobile...a blue batman..could you swing over and pick me up?

    ha - I have seen the perfect storm and not the movie it usually comes in a series of 3 events. Boom, boom and bam then it is like the sun decides to shine once again.

    I watched The Holiday last month I watch it every holiday with my box of kleenex..as I am a weeping willow.

    So, how are you Blue besides you know Blue?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm on my way. What kind of outfit will you be wearing, Weeping Willow? Boom, boom AND bam? Is that so? Oh my. I'm tired, really tired. Is it Spring yet?

      Delete
    2. a Catsuit of course and I'd be honored to ride in that bluesmobile...Oh, and I have picked up some Black Cat wine from the Napa Valley...we will have a picnic..nibbling on this and that...

      I hear ya wake me up when spring arrives...

      Yeah, you know boom, boom and bam...I better knock on wood...

      It's like thunder, lightning,
      the way you love me is frightening.
      I'd better knock (knock knock) on wood baby.
      Oh Yeah!

      Delete
    3. Ha ha I hear ya too
      Or my name ain't Blue
      Black Cat wine, you say
      I could pour that stuff every day

      Delete
    4. nothing like a good glass of cab to forget your worries. Oh, look blue you rhymed too...I could use of bottle of that stuff right now :(
      slip into oblivion...

      Delete
    5. We could share a bottle. Better make that a case. I slip into oblivion on a daily basis. Don't let the bed bugs bite.

      Delete
    6. Hey Blue, How are you? I have the glasses let's slip into oblivion...Where exactly is oblivion Blue and will anyone notice that we have gone there? Just pondering...

      Delete
    7. That would be the first star on the right. No one ever notices.

      Delete
  6. It happens to me, too. And I can't be a conspiracy theories about it: It's not reasonable to say that my washing machine somehow knew that I just put money out on my car. But if you can figure out a way to connect everything, plerase let me know. I'm suspicious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So what you're saying is your car is NOT in cahoots with your washing machine? Are you giving them the benefit of the doubt? After this week I'm not so sure if they deserve our trust. I might be too suspicious, though. I will keep you in the loop.

      Delete
  7. Give batgirl her belt back.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Every time I think we'll get a little ahead, something happens and we end up not doing so. But at least we had the money in hand instead of having to charge something, but it still sucks.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sucks a ton, betty. The perfect storm should be called by a diffrent name, don't you think? Any suggestions?

      Delete
  9. It's Murphy!!! He breaks things 3 at a time.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That son of a gun! Some laws need to be broken, though.

      Delete
  10. Appliances seem to have a special bond in this house. And by special, I mean they like to die together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Say it ain't so. Hey, how are you today?

      Delete
  11. Oui, mon couer. Je parle Francais, bien. Ca va?

    NON, Il dit.

    Oh I know these tempests well, my friend. I live in a permanent hurricane of anguish. And when it rains it doesn’t just pour, oh no. It lashes it down, yes I said LASHES (and not the good kind) until you are beaten down to a puddle of woe. And can you cry? No. Instead you swallow that pain like a stale french stick (oui, du pain) without water. DU PAIN. Oh, I do.

    Anyway, what have I told you about posting pictures of me on your blog? How am I supposed to remain a secret, super hot heroine if you start showing folks my get up, eh?
    A bientôt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NON. How did you know? Did you say a stale French stick? YIKES! I have always felt that only women should be allowed to speak French, because they make it sound so, you know, good. Nuts huh?

      As for your picture, I just couldn't help myself. I just had to show everyone you super tight um gear belt. Can't blame a guy for trusting his instincts, now can you?

      A bientôt!

      P.S. Le Petit Prince is my all-time favorite story. How about that, Jules?

      Delete
    2. Ahh... you have such exquisite taste mon homme bleu. C'est une belle histoire... It's one of my favourites too.

      Delete
    3. I've got this exquisite edition you wouldn't believe. No one is allowed to touch it, of course.

      Delete
    4. And quite right. Beautiful things should be admired from afar and coveted. Like the flower :)

      Delete
  12. That belt probably goes with only a small number of items, like catsuits!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Car problems = $$$$$$$
    I learn simplicity of each models. For instance changing lights, jumper cables, and mainly experienced with auto body...
    You'll fly through your car issues as fast as that money. Personally I don't even own a license, so I envy the fact you even drive.
    I'm sitting here wanting a coffee with $40 on me. I'm not walking 3-5 miles for it!

    - Harlynn
    mindyourmadness.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're sitting there wanting a coffee with $40 on you. I know what that's like. Make it a double!

      Delete
  14. Ugh, yeah, I've been having car troubles lately too. ><

    ReplyDelete
  15. hello you! happy new year and sorry about the mechanic fee. as i'm writing this, i'm worried about what my mechanic has to say about my machine and yes the cost! otherwise, 3rd week into the new year, my limited funds have grown jet engines and gone far off. well, we did take a complete break from doha and have moved back to malaysia for some months. hopefully, we dont have to go back to the sandpit. there are other places on mind if we have to move again. otherwise, all is well. it's a been good 3 months just being back, visiting friends, family and places locally.
    hope you are well, and don't be a stranger! write to me if you think i've been swapped up by some alien into fairy land.

    take care!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I did miss you. Hey, you're back in Malaysia. I'm happy for you even if your limited funds have grown jet engines. That's so quotable! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. I'll write to you and shoot those aliens in the butt.

      Delete
  16. I have to cut out all the fun stuff. I don't go out much so when I had to cut going to movies at all from July through most of October it really was a grind to my gears. But when that money tree turns into a weed you have to do something before it just dies on you. My vices are movies, books and food so I already have a modest life on a small budget. Since I don't drive travel is only costly when I have to walk further than my two legs can carry me. Sorry about your money woes Blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your wonderful comment. You're right. That tree had better not die on us.

      Delete
  17. I feel your pain. I say we blame the universe!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Woof. Money. Can't live without it, can't keep it around long enough to know what it really looks like. (I think it's green...?)

    Sorry about your recent wallet hemmhorage, my friend. That sucks. Here's hoping things will start to look up for you soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Legend says that money is like the majestic leprechaun - green and nearly impossible to catch hold of, much less hold on to!

      Delete
    2. That's some legend. Sounds to me like it's a fact, too.

      Delete
  19. Hi Blue...
    Great hearing from you...
    We are going to Florida for a month...you wanna talk money woes?
    Our Canadian $ is only worth 70cents American right now!
    An all-time low!
    Geesh....
    Enjoy your weekend...
    Cheers!
    Linda:o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's Sunday... Such a fun day!
      70 cents... is that a fact? And an all-time low too?
      Ouch!
      We need a drink.

      Delete
    2. Yep, now ordering anything
      Sure needs the cha-ching

      Delete
    3. Pat understands, Linda. I reckon you don't speak Pat, just plain English?
      You do speak Blue
      And fluently too
      As I raise you all a Scooby Doo

      Delete
  20. I'd suggest going back to the barter system but I have nothing to barter. Not even my nudie goods would be enough to net me more than a tootsie roll. Offering to allow someone to defile my nudie goods would maybe get me an oil change...maybe...probably not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was led to believe that your nudie goods were sacred ground. Hence the word "defile"... oh I get it. Well, hopefully I don't get it but you know what I mean, meaning you get it too. Just an oil change huh? Would you say you need to discuss this with Dr. Phil or can you cope? I could give you some expert advice but that would no doubt be framed as an attempt to take disvantage of you. We can have none of that.

      So now I'm wondering... would I be able to get an oil change too.

      Delete
  21. Story of my life. Get a little ahead, then get shoved way back by the universe. We must be HOT because that universe really likes screwing us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry for nearly falling off my couch. That friggin' universe.

      Delete
    2. If only it would screw in a fun way
      That would make my day

      Delete
    3. I know what you mean
      At your scene
      A you-know-what a day
      Keeps the Doc away
      Great Scott!

      Delete
    4. Like my step mama used to say, I got screwed and didn't even get a kiss out of the deal. Yes, Universe, a little kiss here and there wouldn't hurt, would it?

      Delete
  22. If I didn't repair my car myself I'd probably have put a mechanic's kid through college with how much crap has needed replacing. A little bit of elbow grease and a lot of YouTube goes a long way if your car's decided to take a leak on you (metaphorical or literal).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, but this was way over my head. Where are you when I need you? ;)

      Delete
  23. The bills take all my money. Not sure they have wings but the sure do fly out of my pocket fast enough.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I can relate to this post, Blue. Hubby just spend over two grand on his car repairs. It was terrible. Then, it broke down again the next week. Thankfully, the auto shop covered the repair but he was still driving a loaner for several days that sucked up gas like crazy. Oh, and I thought everyone spoke English everywhere? No?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Over two grand... That's terrible, Elsie.

      No.

      Delete
  25. What money? Who has money? By the way, when you get time, I'd love to ride in your Bat-mobile... dadadada.... Blue Man!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll make time. Hey, you've got a great voice.

      Delete
    2. Really? What big, beautiful ears you have.

      Delete
  26. I don't. Mine tends to fly away soon after I get it, too. And whenever an extra $50 shows up, for example, I'll be hit with an unexpected expense of $60-70, it seems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it never ever stops. We must be doing something wrong. Trump sure doesn't seem to have this problem.

      Delete
    2. Yeah... He has other ones, though.

      Delete
  27. Hey human, Blue,

    My human's car
    Went very far
    Until the electrics
    Went defective
    Yet, the mechanic
    A bit of a manic
    Said, no charge
    As in no charge
    For checking the car
    My human's mechanic's a star.
    Sorry about your money woes
    It just goes and goes.

    Penny, Penny, ever so friendly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember Gary telling us about his car. Could I interest you in the good (um) ole Scooby Doo Mobile?

      Delete
  28. Replies
    1. Blue Hippie The Reboot? How are you, Lynda?

      Delete
    2. As long as you are wearing blue boots.
      How am I? TBH, meh, but lets pretend otherwise ;)

      Delete
    3. Let's pretend you're on top of the world! Thanks for stopping by, Lynda.

      Delete
  29. Blah, isn't that the way it always goes? It seems to be that way all the time with a horse around

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A wise woman once said, "Put your money where your horse is." Does that make any sense to you?

      Delete
  30. Nice wheels!!! The age old bloody question hey. Sorry, no answers here!!!

    Although as in the tradesman business, we are always copping blame - have a running tap & get us out to fix it, the blocked drain that happens the following week is surely our fault & we will fix it for free right.............

    ReplyDelete

Speak your mind.