MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Guess Who Saved My Valentine Ass?

I'm not well-versed in controlling my urge to destroy anyone set to make my life a living hell. I'm not prone to forgiveness and I'd be a drunk CEO going off the rails if Hyperbole.com were an actual company. So how come I'm not in jail, you wonder? What is my secret? Well, let's say that if you need your butt saved like mine in the e.x.a.c.t. s.a.m.e. way, you would have to marry my wife, and I just can't allow that.

Friends and Valentine aficionados, if Mrs. Blue were a superhero, her name would be The Navigator. (Eat your heart out, Batfleck! Har!) In fact, that is her nickname, I kid you not. Not Sweet Poopy Doopy or My Little Lovey-Dovey. Not Tender Lambkin or Hot Mistress Dear. I don't call her Batfleck. I call her my Navigator. Of course, she's my mistress come Wednesday night (woof woof) unless I'm faking a headache (ouch), but for ten years my Navigator she has been. And why am I talking like Master Yodel: The Reboot?

Master Yodel is Strangely Naked. Didn't you know?
Let's face it, my navigating Valentine is about the only person around who can keep me from exploding like an old, undersized condom. She is, in many ways, the opposite of who I am, and it's a riddle some can't solve why she would be with me and vice versa. She is my beacon of calm, is why. Whenever co-workers are in cahoots for the umpteenth time and I'm about to lose it, here comes Mrs. Blue (music, Maestro!), and just one look at her is all it takes to remind me (breathe in) I shouldn't waste my precious life trying to prove the Politicians Posse — or pee pee — wrong (breathe out). You may know what that is like. I honestly hope you don't. One look at Mrs. Blue and I realize once anew that the consequences of my actions would affect her as much as they would affect me, so I'd better keep my cool and take a walk around the block like those New Kids in the 90's. Focus on the good stuff. Focus on the things that matter. Focus on the people you care about and who care about you. Don't be an idiot on a rampage. You're not Deadpool.

Well, I'm trying. I know, maybe I should try a bit harder, but it's hard to change when you're stubborn and blue. It's hard to tolerate individuals who relish the thought of stabbing you in the back like it's an achievement. It's like looking in the mirror and saying, 'You moron. Why didn't you throw them off a roof?' But when you're lucky like me, even if your batmobile keeps breaking down on you when your imaginary money tree is dead and gone, you know what is important and what is not. You know who matter and who really don't. You just need someone to remind you every once in a while — or, in my case, on an embarrassingly regular basis.

So, thank you, Navigator, for saving my blue butt for over a decade now. Thank you for keeping me on the right track to the best of my abilities. While I may be a bit slow in the let's-shed-some-light-on-your-own-life-for-a-change department, I've been secretly aware of this unrewarding full-time job of yours. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a grown man with Peter Pan issues who needs a smart and beautiful woman a decade his junior (Way the go, Blue! Yes, I know, fellas...) to keep himself out of trouble. That, my friends and Valentine fetishists alike, is no easy feat.

Who is your Navigator?

Happy Valentine

* * *
Always listen to your navigator

118 comments:

  1. Now that is the kind of Valentine worth having! Well done Blue and well done to Mrs. Blue too.

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    Replies
    1. Why, thank you, Jacqueline. Any plans for Valentine's Day?

      Delete
  2. SO what did you get your Navigator for the Valentines?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had her car fixed. I know, I'm a hopeless romantic.

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    2. It's got my name on it but she likes stealing Bob from me.

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    3. It's got my name on it but she likes stealing Bob from me.

      Delete
    4. Ah, so you let her sneak out with Bob, what an openminded husband you are, Mandy Randy Sir!
      Did Mongo give you a Valentines smooch?

      Delete
    5. He sure did, that eternal suck-up :p

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    6. mine got a chicken bone to nibble on, didn't even say Miownk You :(

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    7. He didn't? How rude! Maybe he preferred a chicken to bone instead of a chicken bone. No?

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    8. Most probably, but I ain't feeding him birds. He did catch a pheasant once when he was little.... imagine my shock when I caught him plucking the poor bird in our yard....

      Delete
  3. Im not sure if Iam forgiving but I can be self loathing

    things stick in my head and just dont move'

    also the last paragraph you describe could be me :(

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey Mister
    Has she got a sister?

    As for your sweet navigator
    It's nice how high you rate her . . . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In my dreams she does
      Or maybe it was her Cous :)
      How is my friend Eddie?
      Is he like a rock, real steady?

      Delete
    2. Thank you Blue, I am OK
      The Jan depression's now at bay.
      I'm better when the sun shines bright
      And daytime's longer to early night.

      . . .

      Delete
    3. I hear you, Eddie. Sarcoidosis being my life-time partner (oh how I'd like a divorce), I know what it's like to want some more sunshine. We need to be patient.

      Delete
    4. Hi Blue ~ just popped in to say how do
      And hope that you are well at your zoo
      Yes, that complaint needs a divorce
      Then you would be better of course.
      Hope Angie is now feeling better
      And she'll keep you sane, if you let 'er
      As for me it is to bad
      I have no wife so I must be mad . . . lol

      Delete
    5. Ah my friend Eddie is stopping by
      The Bluelights Poet rhyming all slick and sly
      Always making me laugh when I'm about to cry
      Well, on the inside that is
      It's called the Blue Guy Bizzz
      Oh Angie is still a bit below par
      But cute as a button or the morning star
      So I won't be saying, "Harrrrr!" from afar
      I know you miss your dearest wife
      I hate it when people say, "Such is life!"
      What do they know as I wish you well
      The Cat would say they call jump into a well
      Haha!

      I will come and visit you real soon
      I know I can do better than once in a blue moon!

      Delete
    6. Hey Mr Blue
      Getting worried about you
      Are you ok
      Because you've stayed away.
      Hope you're alright
      A sickness does not bite . . .

      Delete
    7. I've not been feeling too well, Eddie. Thanks for asking. That is so kind of you, my friend.

      Delete
  5. Now that's awesome. And I can relate. My wife is my navigator, and not just for a bad temper, but for people skills. Believe it or not, I used to not like people much. (And I still struggle with thinking ninety-five percent of those behind a steering wheel are idiots.) But through my wife, I learned I couldn't love God without loving His people.
    Hope you do something special for your wife tomorrow. Although in writing this, I think you already did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Alex. I appreciate that. Seems to me you're blessed too.

      Delete
  6. "From exploding like an old, undersized condom.” Now there’s a simile.

    Well Blue, you deserve a good woman and I hope you’re going to woo her with romance tomorrow and sing an Elvis song to her. I recommend “Always on my mind” Make sure you’re knelt down, dressed only in your sexy Speedo’s and holding a cornet of chocolate covered strawberries. I hate strawberries but then I’m not a fine cultured bird.

    My navigator? C’est moi. I “give a little whistle” and alway let my conscience be my guide. This is oftentimes dangerous since I tend to leave it in the back of a dusty drawer. That’s when the fun starts.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Love letters straight from your heart
      Keep us so near while apart
      I'm not alone in the night
      When I can have all the love you write

      I memorize every line
      And I kiss the name that you sign
      And darling then
      I read again right from the start
      Love letters straight from your heart


      What a great comment. Great? The best. Full stop. Sexy Speedo's... really? I can get away with a lot, but Speedo's... Don't forget to give a little whistle, Jules. Men in Speedo's need encouragement, you know.

      Delete
    2. Ahhhhh.....Did you hear that wolfish blow I just gave? Yeah, course ya did!

      Read that again from the start. Straight from the heart :)

      Delete
    3. I sure did, Jules :) Blushing Blue

      Delete
  7. This is a great tribute. You need to make sure she sees it. It should get you off the hook for whatever dumb stuff you do for the next couple months.

    I've only been reading your page for a few weeks, but I get the feeling you're the kind of eprson who needs a "Get Out of the Doghouse Free" card frequently.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get that feeling too. ;) You don't happen to have a couple of spare cards, do you?

      Delete
  8. haha going all Deadpool
    Would sure seem cool
    But then you'd go to jail
    So that would be a fail
    Good she keeps you in line
    Making a cool head align
    I've known back stabbers a plenty
    At least less than twenty
    I'm more for silent revenge though
    They never see me coming at my show
    Not that I've ever done such a thing
    Hey, you can't prove it at my blog wing
    Hope she sees this
    You'll get some non snoring bliss lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the slammer
      A Deadpool scammer
      Using no hammer
      Thor's the jammer
      There's no glamour
      An extra u no grammar
      Snoring like a sledgehammer
      Leading to a clamor
      Does this make you stammer?

      Delete
    2. No stammer
      With your slammer
      Thanks to a programmer
      As in you "mer" crammer
      At least you aren't a shammer
      Or a car rammer
      That wouldn't enamor
      Unless looking to clamor

      Delete
    3. So true
      As I raise you a Scooby Doo!

      Delete
  9. Ahhh, you're a lucky man.

    And "I'd better keep my cool and take a walk around the block like those New Kids in the 90's?" Great line.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. :) Yes, I'm a lucky son of a gun. Knock on wood.

      Delete
  10. Behind every great man . . .

    What a sweet story for Valentine's Day! I love a happy ending. Have a wonderful weekend together!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...there's a greater woman. Thank you, Bijoux. Any plans yourself?

      Delete
    2. We went to a wine bar and then walked to a restaurant for a romantic dinner. That was the previous weekend when it was in the 40's and not hibernation weather.

      Delete
    3. A romantic dinner... That's great. Was it on the house for the most romantic couple? ;)

      Delete
  11. Ahh! How sweet. Nothing better than having your best other half there to balance life. I'm the explodinator in my relationship, so I know what you're talking about. My mom decided he was good for me because he could talk me down where no one else could. What would we do without these amazing spouses, eh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, good to hear from you. We should make a movie: The Explodinators. Arnold eat your heart out! Not to mention... ka-ching!

      Without them we would explode and be all over the news.

      Delete
    2. LOL! I'm game if you're game. Hollywood, here we come!

      Delete
    3. Wait, what? Dang. Did I miss my stage entrance cue? Start over. ;)

      Delete
  12. I knew it, a heart of gold. Have a happy Valentine's Day.
    Somebody pleez put me out of my misery and confirm whether VDay is with or wIthOUt an apostrophe?

    ReplyDelete
  13. A great tribute to your wife, the Navigator. Superwoman all the way! Happy Valentine's Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You too! Thanks for stopping by! (And why am I screaming?!)

      Delete
  14. Ah Blue,

    You've no need to find a heart on the yellow brick road, you already have demonstrated compassion and sensitivity to the feelings of others. That heart of yours is a testament of your deep love and thoughtfulness, even if it gets you in a bit of mischief.

    I'd be tender - I'd be gentle and awful sentimental
    Regarding Love and Art.

    Read more: Wizard Of Oz - If I Only Had A Brain/Heart/Nerve Lyric - Metro Lyrics

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGbfs6HZDNo

    Wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day - May your superwoman lift you to new heights.

    PS - Someone once asked me "how do you know if you have found love" and I replied - "you will know when you have lost it as your heart will break"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a great comment, True. Thank you. :))

      Delete
  15. What a sweet tribute to your wife :) May you have many wonderful more years together!

    My Navigator would be God and then followed by my husband. We were just talking over dinner tonight without God as our navigator, our marriage probably would have not survived, but he definitely has kept us together.

    May you both have a great Valentine's Day!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to hear that, betty. Thanks for the kind words.

      Happy Valentine :)

      Delete
  16. That was really sweet. I'm glad you have someone so special. I've been with Ken for 25 years. We navigate each other. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 25 years... Well, good for you :) So you are co-navigators?

      Delete
  17. Now this, this is just incredibly sweet. You hold on to your Navigator, Blue. She sounds like a gem and a half!

    I have to admit, my Navigator is Ty. He's never failed to get me pointed in the right direction when I needed him to. When I'm avidly defending my title of "Chief Worrywart", he's there with a refreshingly cool breeze of reality and reason to keep me grounded. Whew! :)

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    Replies
    1. Well, that means you're lucky too, Candice. I'm happy for you. Good to hear from you again. I know you're busy.

      Delete
  18. What a wonderful Valentine's Day tribute, Blue.
    I'm glad you two have each other.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sandra. So kind of you to say that.

      Delete
  19. I have to navigate my own ass. Or as the Christian in me should say "Jesus." Glad you have your navigator Blue and Happy Valentine's Day everyday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure you're doing a good job. Thanks :)

      Delete
  20. Aw, this is so romantic and made me sigh all wistfully. My hubby reminds me often of the better path to take. Without him, I'm a grumpy old woman who chases kids off the lawn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Old? OLD? O.L.D.? Your hubster sounds like a great guy.

      Delete
  21. Awe, sounds like you two are just perfect for each other! I hope you both had a lovely Valentine's Day! ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whenever Sister Theresa says AWE I half expect Roman Legions to march in from somewhere :)

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    2. Angie wasn't feeling too well, but it was an okay day :)

      Roman soldiers wearing what, Dezz?

      Delete
    3. Sorry she wasn't feeling well! I hope she's better now! We spent the day gutting our bathroom. That wasn't the kind of getting down and dirty one usually has in mind for the holiday. I put too much work into it, I spent all day Monday feeling unwell myself :(

      Hopefully those Roman Legions aren't wearing much of anything. Us sick gals need a little eye candy to come marching in giving us a few. A little spike in temperature wouldn't hurt too much here ;)

      Delete
    4. She's feeling much better now. You spent the day gutting out your bathroom? And you ended up feeling meh too? So next year you know that is what you won't be doing, right?

      Delete
    5. The bathaus of Mahoneys must feel gutted right now :)

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    6. Yes, have not you heard of BATHAUS OF GAGA? We write it as HAUS, that is right, deal with it! As in MONGOHAUS OF PURRS

      Delete
    7. Shocking! He's The King of Snore.

      Delete
  22. This is a lovely tribute to the woman that keeps you calm. I don't have a Navigator. The wife has a fiery, fiery temper (that whole Mexican thing) and I'm a worrier that goes from worry to anger, so if anything we usually just fuel each other's fire.

    How we haven't killed someone or landed in jail or both is beyond me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, good to hear you're not in the slammer. A Beer For The Prison Shower may not taste so good ;)

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    2. Yes, especially when that beer is most likely brewed in the toilet.

      http://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=307167
      (I can't believe there are people that do that FOR FUN)

      Delete
    3. "Fermented in a toilet..." No shit. Wait, let me rephrase that.

      Delete
    4. "Fermented in a toilet..." No shit. Wait, let me rephrase that.

      Delete
  23. This is a beautiful tribute to your wife especially when you have to deal with office politics which is always moronic. My navigator was my mom who now has dementia so I truly miss her...it has been tough to have her and see her but she is not who she once was. I am the navigator for my hubby, or try to be. He has a temper and it is hard to calm him down when his ass is up in the air.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Office politics... The very word makes my skin crawl. I'm sorry to hear about your momma. Must be devastating :( Of course you miss her.

      Your hubby sounds like someone I know... Me. I always get really when people are being unfair. They say it's a flaw...

      Delete
  24. Nice work Mrs Blue!!! I'm glad your Mister appreciates you!!!

    Hmmm. I'm not sure I have a single navigator - mostly would be the hubby, but there are many times a sledge hammer is not required therefore I turn to my cousin, besties & sis - probably in that order - for assistance!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha hubby the sledge hammer. Now, why does that sound familiar?

      Delete
  25. It's funny how often older men feel their younger wives ground them...my husband is five years older than I am. He acts like I saved him from a life of disorganized, messy bachelorhood...and that it's a GOOD thing I did!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He sounds like a great guy! No, I'm not biased at all... wink wink.

      Delete
  26. You're blessed
    To have a wife
    Who efficiently
    provides company
    Clears all the bother
    You've said it brother!
    Keeping tabs but love forever
    Your name is not Error!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Hank! I hope you're as lucky as I am. Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  27. Now that's a partner in crime worth celebrating - hope y'all both had a delightful Valentine's Day

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Rooth. I reckon you enjoyed your trip? I'll stop by real soon.

      Delete
  28. I send hugs to Angie, a lovely woman,hope she feel better !


    s!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's feeling much better now. :)

      Delete
    2. Grumpy , you delete me??
      You never visit me now :(
      Why ???
      Hugss!

      Delete
    3. I had a feeling you were angry and I didn't know why. Other bloggers also noticed that you didn't visit me.

      Delete
    4. I had a feeling you were angry and I didn't know why. Other bloggers also noticed that you didn't visit me.

      Delete
    5. I never was angry with you Grumpy!
      You dont visit me :(
      So others bloggers ....mmmm
      I was with my dad sick.
      And still is. I try to help my mom when I can .
      Im only posting one time a week.

      Delete
    6. Yesterday I let a comment !
      Im not angry Grumpy !!
      I commented you my dad is sick and Im helping my mom all I can

      Delete
    7. A comment? I didn't get a comment, Gloria Dear. Blogger does the same to me. Sometimes I type a long comment and when I pres "publish", all of a sudden it is gone. So now I copy my comment before I press that button.

      I'm sorry to hear about your Dad :(

      Delete
  29. You're lucky to have a woman who keeps you sane. my husband says I do the same for him. Hope you had a great Valentine's Day!

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    Replies
    1. Your husband is a wise man. :) Thanks, Sherry.

      Delete
    2. Your husband is a wise man. :) Thanks, Sherry.

      Delete
    3. Times two
      Times two
      From you
      From you

      Delete
    4. Say it ain't so
      Say it ain't so
      At my show
      At my show

      Delete
  30. Awww, it sounds like you two are well matched. My husband calls me his stalker. That's a bit like a navigator, isn't it?

    I think I'd go crazy without my husband. Whenever I start freaking out, he calms me down. People don't typically get me riled up, in fact, I'm pretty hard to tick off. But I go into panic mode if I'm going to fall short of expectations (like when I'm supposed to return my best friend's microphone that night and I have no freaking clue where it is).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Loni. Sure... a navigator like a stalker ha ha sort of... except for my ex-stalkers... Your husband calms you down, my wife calms me down... just the way we like it wink wink. A microphone?

      Delete
  31. My kids are my navigator. :) I hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day, Blue. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs. Blue was ill :( What are the odds, Right? So I pampered her.

      Delete
  32. awww, that's sweet, Blue. you're lucky to have married Mrs. Blue :)

    well, i don't know Blue. i suppose i have a few navigators with the main being my instincts. not sure how that works but it has kept me from doing things without regret. my instincts, my decisions, my bet. so it keeps me from blaming anyone else or taking offence in a situation especially when things go bad. does it make sense to you?
    and there is the husband who keeps my life uncomplicated for the most part.

    otherwise i'm a kind of person who is prone to forgiveness only because i can't remember the cause of the problem to begin with :p

    but for now, i can't get the image of an exploding undersized condom out of my blue mind! thank you! grrr.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There you are! why am I not surprised you are your own navigator? Yes, what you're saying makes perfect sense to me, Jaya J.

      As for that image... I wish I could say it's based on a true story (wink wink)...

      Hey, good to hear from you again.

      Delete
  33. Replies
    1. Thanks, Sandra! Now, excuse me while I go take a nap :) It's Sunday... such a fun day.

      Delete
  34. Congratulations on a decade, and even better is knowing the best Valentines are not anything you can buy in a store. (I've got one, too, and I'm not blue!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "The best Valentines are not anything you can buy in a store..." That's deep! I'm gonna steal um borrow that line from you, Snowcatcher. Good to hear you've got one, too, and that you're not blue.

      Delete
  35. You are blessed to have Mrs. Blue, Mr. Blue. When I first starting visiting your blog you two were just about to get married. Awww!! I'm so happy you have each other. You both deserve happiness!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was in September 2012... How time flies, Elsie. And here you are again. Thanks for caring :)

      Delete
  36. I think that's actually really romantic! How great is it to have your own navigator!

    ReplyDelete

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