MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Sunday, February 7, 2016

The Word Game Show You Know


THE WORD GAME SHOW YOU KNOW

So you're temporarily in between jobs? Don't you mean... 
Unemployed and hating it at your scene? 
What, you were somehow made redundant
Weren't jobs abundantly abundant? 
Are you bending the truth, my friend? 
Is spreading disinformation a new trend? 
Don't you mean they gave you the boot, 
They fired your ass, laid you off and no parachute? 
No? Oh it was a surplus reduction in personnel... 
A workforce imbalance correction? Oh hell! 
I mean, darn, as you were let go
Offered a career change at your word game show 
Personnel was being realigned? I see... oh Scooby Doowee!
Another employee transition in the place to be. 

So there you are, penniless and broke 
Or economically disadvantaged, longing for a smoke, 
Wondering if you should take legal action 
Don't you mean sue their asses and get some satisfaction? 
Too bad you've got a temporary negative cash flow 
You're monetarily challenged, did you know? 
Now all you can afford is substandard housing 
No cash to go browsing 
In an economically depressed neighborhood 
No internet presidents for you, meaning no livelihood 
No more driving around in your pre-loved car 
No more genuine imitation leather for your fat-n'-stinky star 
Of course, I mean your voluptuous little butt 
No more Gentlemen's Special Interest Literature at your hut 
But at least you're well endowed, you've got special private parts 
Does that mean you are a bigger person too — in a way, say, off the charts?

You'd better undo this involuntarily separation 
You don't want to embrace this challenging situation 
Until you're dead and gone... yes, feeling no pain
Passed away, departed, laid to rest in Spain, 
'He met his maker... 
Such a deal breaker!' 
Do something before you cash in your chips 
Like Gladys Knight & the Pips 
'Yes, we had a negative patient outcome
And then some... 

Hey, 
Why do people speak this way? 
Are you in between jobs too 
Or were you plain fired at your shoe?

* * *
Pickleope is Strangely Naked

113 comments:

  1. That could be fun!
    Workforce imbalance correction - and fired your butt to balance it again.
    What is the cat drinking in that picture?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be A Kitty Cat On The Beach. Shaken, not stirred.

      Delete
    2. Not a goat
      In a moat
      Or a toad
      On the road

      Delete
    3. Or a frog
      In a dog
      On a log
      With a hog
      By a bog
      With egg nog

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    4. Or a chick
      On a stick
      Not a Blue
      In a shoe

      Delete
    5. The cat is drinking a tipsy carrot...

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    6. Can you drink a carrot?
      Let's ask a ferret

      Delete
  2. Life's a Beach; but you can put spin on it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We as humans do say some strange things.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You got fired?
    You should lay waste to their school like I did with that one that fired me :)
    Isn't our sister Theresa a babe in that photo of yours?
    Did Bob got his fix?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This story isn't about me. It's about people's love for euphemisms. Yes, Theresa looks fantastic. Bob got fixed but my wallet is still recovering.

      Delete
    2. If only my boobs were that big and perky in real life...

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    3. At least your body isn't ten shades darker from the face in real life :)

      PS Blue, who is this Lady Euphemism? does Angelina know about her?

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    4. Theresa... What can I say? Nothing. I know.
      Dezzzzmeister.... Good point. I should've fixed that. What Lady? I'm innocent.

      Delete
    5. Innocent? Does Angelina know?

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    6. Denial is the best of sedatives

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  5. Full-time motherhood- temporarily taking a leave of absence from employment in the real world...to raise real human beings so that they can eventually enter the real world and replace you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. lol humans use strange lingo
    Can't just go bingo
    Was fired away
    Nope, long winded on display
    Have to use tact I suppose
    Trying to up the lows
    The cat getting drunk?
    May leave a smelly funk
    Hopefully a litter box is had
    No need to stink up the Cheers pad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fancy words to easy the pain
      Like listeners don't have a brain
      See right through their pretty tale
      Almost a hit so you mean fail
      The Cat is getting drunk all right
      Sippin' on some booze all night
      No litter box in sight
      Keep it in with all your might :p

      Delete
    2. Once you break the seal
      Things get rather real
      Easing pain
      On any old train
      Seems to be the way
      I just say it sucks with no pay

      Delete
    3. No nothing at all
      Just a white wall

      Delete
    4. Still beats a blue wall
      At your hall

      Delete
  7. Oops found a typo. I'll try again:)
    I think whenever someone gets laid off euphemisms help shore up totally shattered self-esteem. There is such a feeling of worthlessness that almost always accompanies layoffs that people say or do whatever is necessary to help them get through it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know but when a company 'let's you go,' it sounds so innocent....

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    2. that because a company doesn't want to look bad and so they make it seem innocent when the bottom line is all about the dough.

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    3. Did I write let's? Say I didn't.

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    4. lets makes it sound like you have an option when really you have no choice.

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    5. haha - I just had to confirm I wasn't a robot to post...let me check I think I am human???

      Delete
  8. I'm in a very unstable industry; I could find myself laid off any time soon or then again maybe not. It can be frustrating, but I just go with the flow and if I'm laid off, I'll take unemployment and be terribly grateful hubby is a good provider.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know what that is like, betty. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

      Delete
  9. Guess I'll save up to see the movie and something to drink while watching. I'll be wearing my favorite shoe - a ballet slipper.

    And, by the way, when I arrive, will everyone know my name??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course they'll know your name. I love ballet slippers. (No, I don't wear them myself)

      Delete
  10. Maybe they can't find one. Jobs are good at hide and seek.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My particular term was 'downsized', which was my old company's way of saying that we're shrinking everything down. For example, my number of jobs was reduced from 1 to 0.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Downsized... Can you imagine that someone actually had a brainwave and said, "Let's call it downsizing"?

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    2. I think they call it restructuring here...

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    3. "What! You're firing me??"
      "We're restructuring."
      "Oh all right."

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    4. Yeah like that makes it all better
      Restructuring sounds better than fired
      they sugar coat it easier to digest

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    5. And too much sugar makes us fat to boot!

      Delete
  12. They're clever giving the accepted word
    Separation, redundant or just unemployed
    Either way one is jobless
    What then can be worse
    Just laze around dreaming at the keyboard

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Hank!
      The one and only... Poetry Tank, yes, sir.

      Delete
  13. Hey, wait a minute, Blue! I resemble that remark! I'm vertically challenged!!! But, I'm not drunk, I'm short...so, um, yeah.

    Where I work, we have mostly elderly clients so the death rate is high. When I first started working there I was mortified by how casually people said, "Melba's dead," not deceased or passed away, etc. Now, I'm doing the same thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, nothing wrong with being short. Call yourself charmingly petite. That's right, and anyone who makes fun of you... well, you just send them to me.

      I'm not looking forward to being dead, passed away or ten feet under.

      Delete
  14. I think you gave the cat a run for his money with your rhyming skills...just sayin!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know I did. Let's say The Cat can be inspirational at times.

      Delete
  15. Kicked in the arse as you rightly deserve?
    ‘Aint it a shame when life throws a curve,
    For those who weren’t looking, ‘cept for themselves,
    And dissing the ones who worked hard as elves.

    But they say that Karma is helluva bitch,
    And don’t like a bighead, two faced old snitch,
    She waits in the shadows as you play like a lord,
    And then comes across and tips up your board.

    You’re left embarrassed with mumbling excuses,
    As we hold up our fingers revealing our deuces,
    With boiling hot coals, your head we anoint,
    And rely on our Blue to make a great point.

    Anyway, back to normal chatter. "Vertically challenged" in an "uncompromising position", "Horizontal Tango" perhaps. Hey Blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your unnormal chatter too. Poetess Jules strikes again! The last time I felt embarrassed I was about to start my first lesson with my zipper wide open. Just saying. Anyfly, thanks for stopping by ;)

      Delete
    2. You should have said, "The cage may be open but the beast is asleep!"

      Delete
    3. I'm never sharp on Tuesdays. It's a major flaw, I know.

      Delete
  16. The reason I have my current job is because I was honest about getting fired. I told my interviewer, "I left my last job because my subconscious realized I wasn't enjoying my job and manifested itself in me treating my job as passive aggressively as it was treating me and in the end, I was passive aggressively asked to accept a part time minimum wage position." They appreciated my honesty and ability to articulate it. Phrasing matters.
    Thank you for equating me with Ted Danson. That would be amazing to be in a Cheers reboot, particularly because I'm not an actor...except that one time I did a play in the 5th grade. "Dear Pickleope, We saw a grainy VHS tape from 1989 and we recognized a real talent in your tiny exaggerated movements on that stage. We would like to invite--neigh--beg you to lead our reimagining of a beloved series from that same era where you left at the height of your thespianism." I wish I'd be involved in those conversations. And here you are, bringing those to life. Thank you, sir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hold on, "Son of Sam?" I'm not sure I want that moniker. Isn't that trademarked? Like, I couldn't call myself "Swastika on my face Manson" or is that just a good taste thing? They have no legal recourse? Fine, let's double down and call the character, "the Son of Sam, you know, Zodiac Malone, who stalks women at night, and loves the letters B, T, and K." Shoot the moon.

      Delete
    2. Phrasing matters? Now I know why I'm always in trouble. Thanks for solving that riddle for me. Pick, you're so eloquent I bet you'd even outtalk good ole Cliff, you Son of Sam Malone, you. A grainy VHS tape from 1989 eh? So you were about 10 back then, meaning you're, what, 37 now? Well, I'd say that's the perfect age to play Sam's son, so we can start rehearsing tomorrow on location. Beer on the house, of course and no CGI shit. What's Sam's son's name again?

      Delete
    3. Phrasing - it's not what you say but, how you say it!

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    4. I can say, "I like you" and still scare them off, so you're onto something, True Dear.

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    5. That is what I was told it is about presentation

      Delete
  17. You know, I have never been fired. Then again, I've only had like 4 jobs my entire life so not much opportunity to get kicked to the curb. For the past 13 years I have found little ways to make money from home, so I guess I am my own boss now, which is great :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only a fool would fire you, Theresa. Then again, lots of bosses are fools. I need to think about making money from home too. How does "The Blue Guy's School of Grammar" sound to you? (I know.)

      Delete
  18. My dad got laid off once and during that time he had to travel to interviews mainly by bus because he lost the company car. Even today at his latest job he still sticks with a company car. My mother has gone through about four cars and is a teacher! Guess my dad decided to keep his accountant cash close and just keep driving on his employer's dime until retirement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whaaaat? There is a country in which teachers have cars? What Utopia is this?

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    2. I thought they have no seasons at Bora Bora, how come they have four now? :)

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    3. Haha! You're sharp today. It must be Wednesday :p

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    4. we had fun, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...

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    5. I'm playing my balalayka too! And my zither!

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    6. and end up in tabloids? I think not....

      Delete
  19. Euphemism, creuphemism,
    say it like it is, Baby.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Just be glad I say what I mean and mean what I say to you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNHJ7zz16bY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent song. And don't you look great in Pickleope's Bar A.K.A. Cheers: The Reboot?

      Delete
  21. The word game you know
    at the Blue man's show
    we have to let you go
    didn't you see the crow
    as he flew to and fro
    leaving severance dough
    outplacement services for a pro
    we sure liked you though
    you've reached a plateau
    the word game boost the ego
    even when you've reached a low

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And when you gotta go
      You gotta go
      Not Jurassic style at your show
      (The Cat knows what I mean
      At his litter box scene)
      Better stick our heads in the snow
      Trying to find our mojo

      Delete
  22. To Bora bora we will finally go
    we can relax and take it slow
    drinking our bottle of wine
    together we will feel fine
    come let me sing you a song
    The kind that last all night long..
    tangled in heated satin sheets
    finding the rhythm of the beat
    what was lost now is found
    on open wings heaven bound...

    Mojo rising.... why does that come to mind



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am restless blue
      so a rhyme came do
      you know I had to...
      will bora ever come in view

      Delete
    2. Bora and tangled sheets, you say?
      Sounds pretty expensive at my bay
      Will it happen one day?
      Will age allow us to play?
      Or will we be 90 years old
      When we find those riches untold?
      Will we still be bold?

      Delete
    3. Bora may be a fool's dream
      it's about finding your oasis
      may we never be too old
      may we always be bold
      seeking hidden treasure
      a dream filled with pleasure
      If we live to 90 we will be lucky






      Delete
    4. Lucky like Luke
      It may even be a fluke
      90 would be grand
      In any land
      It's quite in demand

      Delete
    5. Would it be this Lucky Luke, Thanks for putting up with me today!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsGq2Ts7Zm0

      Delete
    6. That's the one
      Such fun!
      But putting up with is not the right phrase
      As your poems do amaze

      Delete
  23. Oh hell, sometimes I wish that were the case for me and then I'd probably run away to a cabin in the woods, hermit-style

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me guess... You came back for "moar"? Hermit-style?

      Delete
  24. Hey Blue,

    Euphemistically speaking
    For me, no job seeking
    Did I get sacked
    From lack of tact
    Did I get fired
    Instead of admired
    Did I take an "anger management" course
    Yelling at the boss so horse, um hoarse.
    Why would I want to anger management
    Such a lament.

    Gary, Gary, never contrary, or scary, or flairy, or hairy, or fairy...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lack of tact
      Is that a fact
      Might happen to me
      In the place to be
      Yes, siree!

      Delete
  25. Euphemisms & slang - such fun to decipher!!!

    My mother in law told me yesterday she'd planned to play Larry Do with a big stick. Be buggered if I know what it means or where it came from..............google didn't really help much either!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Play Larry Do with a big stick... Um... What?

      Delete
    2. Yes. Who the hell is Larry Do & why does he have a big stick??? BTW she's 91 so the expression is a lil bit dated......

      Delete
    3. That explains it. I'm still intrigued though...

      Delete
  26. You've been hanging around with Pat Hatt, the cool cat, too long...


    just sayn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know
      At my show
      'Tis true
      At my shoe
      Help
      As I yelp!

      Delete
    2. lol stuck
      What the fluck
      Rhyme in the head
      Even in bed
      Oh dread
      Club med?

      Delete
    3. My bed - you mean my couch
      Dreaming like a grouch
      Not the couch but me
      In the place to be

      Delete
  27. I had 6 redundancies in my time
    So after each knock down I had to climb
    In between jobs was not very nice
    And writing for jobs was like throwing a dice.
    I got so fed up with not getting answers
    But I had some fun with a firm of free lancers.
    I wrote them a letter and said "No news is good news,
    What time should I come for my interviews!
    Next day they were very embarrassed
    And did not want any more to be harassed.
    They sent me a letter which said thank you no
    Which meant bugger off and please go . . .
    So I decided from that moment I'd work for myself
    And no more to suffer and be left on the shelf.
    It worked a treat and I was my own boss
    And never again worked for someone who don't give a toss. . . . lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Throwing a dice
      I'd rather eat mice
      How about some lice?
      Well, maybe not
      If dice is all you've got
      Good thing you found a way
      (And might I add an olé?)
      To be your own boss
      They could go and eat some floss
      Better make that a lot
      As you gave it a shot

      Delete

Speak your mind.