MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Smile when Chronic Fatigue Does to You and Your Loved Ones What It Does to You and Your Loved Ones Again and Again

How's that for a title? Let's just say that if my naps were a mile and a half shorter than this title, I'd be one happy camper. No such luck, though. I snore all day, I snore all night. Maybe you know what that's like. But if you think for a split second you should throw in the towel when you yourself are ready to drop, you'd better not open the door when I come a-knocking. Yes, you may look like you've been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on, but that does not mean you should bail out and call it a life. No, Sir. (No Ma'am, too.)


Start out by smiling. I know it's easier said than done. Consider it a first step. In fact, I know from experience that any attempt at smiling will seriously mess up your seemingly uninterested face. When chronic fatigue is your buddy for life (Go to hell! No, not you.), you know you won't be scoring many points in the look-at-me-being-all-smiley-and-shit section. People read your face and think you are indifferent, uncaring, not to mention unsociable, because there's so very little to read. Chronic fatigue is like free Botox that way. Somehow your body just knows that cutting down on facial expressions is a great energy saver. Which is why they should call me Green, not Blue. It's such a misnomer! But the reason you should smile is that it's unlike riding a bike or dry humping a horse. You will forget how to do it.

"But I'm as tired as a boomtown whore." I hear ya. Which is why you need to be savvy about how you spend your daily energy. Don't waste that precious power simply because you want to be like everybody else. Be like a Prius, only more attractive. Calculate the number of hours you'll need to be awake on a given day — and when — or else you'll run out of energy like a Prius owned by an idiot and cause a serious traffic jam, not to mention a serious accident, because you thought hybrid meant 'electricity only.' You don't want to start napping when you're supposed to step on it, now do you? You don't want to run on empty in the middle of the highway. I used to think that I could fool Mr. Fatigue by doing an ostrich and assuring myself that a couple of extra vitamin pills would do the trick. Bad idea. Nap wisely.

When people tell you you look good and "not at all exhausted," tell them looks can be deceiving. Remind them politely that chronic fatigue is somewhat different from having had a leg chopped off for all the world to see. Remind them that it's an invisible problem, but a serious problem, and that you're trying hard as hell to keep it that way or else you would switch off then and there and snore on their equally not-at-all-exhausted butt. Tell them that would be rude, so you're determined to keep that no-good battery charged to the best of your abilities — in spite of the fact that talking to them about not looking exhausted is a waste of energy. So you just smile and keep it short. Life is more pleasant that way.

But whatever you do, don't forget that you're alive and that, unless you are in terrible pain, your friends and family are worth your while. You are worth your while. Appreciate the little things and realize that they are, in fact, pretty big. I, for one, love sitting in the sun. I close my eyes and breathe. I feel the sunrays touching my face. I notice the wind. I breathe. I hear. I know. That's bound to put a smile on my face and it won't hurt a bit.

Try it, and I'll be there with bells on. Your Momma, too, and everybody else for that matter. Do not give up.

* * *


133 comments:

  1. You gave very good advice about chronic fatigue! Deal with it ... don't try to power past it. Best wishes, my friend!

    I never thought of horseback riding that way......

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    Replies
    1. Well, imagine sitting on a horse... Giddyup giddyup! Anyway, thanks for stopping by again.

      Delete
  2. I suffer from insomnia, but I keep smiling.

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  3. Anything is more attractive than a Prius.
    Sorry you struggle with that. I'm tired half the time (comes from getting up around five every morning) but not to that extent.
    Working on the smiling since my neutral expression is rather darn neutral. My wife says more than neutral.

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    1. Yes, anything is more attractive than a Prius.

      More than neutral? Ouch... Maybe a seventh guitar will bring a big smile on your face, Alex.

      Delete
  4. Some have told me my crap must be gone
    I'm moving a bit across the lawn
    I just pffft and smile away
    Just got better at dealing with it at my bay
    And it is better than dead
    Unless one is in super dread
    Then I'd take the gun
    Have someone shoot me and be done haha
    But just have to keep on keeping on
    And have a few hot showers a day from dusk to dawn
    Keeps the nerves in check
    Even though it can be a loaded deck

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    1. Pfffffft will do the trick
      Like a chick
      On a stick
      Not a fox
      In a box
      Hot showers make me sleepy
      And kinda creepy
      Call me Zombie Blue
      The one looking for a shoe

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    2. I'm with you Pat, I'm just better at dealing with it no cure.

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    3. Zombie blue
      Taking a bite or two
      Eat your own shoe?
      That is blue

      Deal indeed
      But keep on trying at ones feed

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    4. As blue as can be
      In the place to be

      Delete
    5. No post from thee
      At your sea
      Run out of steam
      Lost in a dream?
      Or the annoying crap
      Makes you take a snoring nap
      Ugg to it still
      We need to win a million dollar bill

      Delete
    6. Snoring too much
      Makes me lose my touch
      But I'll be back
      In a box or a sack

      Delete
  5. 'tis an unusually ungrumpy post from you, true Blue!
    I know it's part of your illness, but does spending time outside, walking and strictly natural food help in any way in relieving the fatigue?

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    1. Unusually ungrumpy you say? You're so perceptive, Dezzmeister. :p Spending some time outside helps a bit, as does natural food, but in the end I'll just crash. The one thing that could cure me is so expensive I'd have to sell my soul and the devil's too.

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    2. What is it that would cure you Blue? No one should be without care because they can't afford treatment.

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    3. It's a very rare Japanese sea weed that only the rich can afford. $30 a day is way out of my league, but that's okay. Sarcoidosis is my middle name.

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    4. Is there anything out there that might produce similar results? $30 a day is expensive :(

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    5. Sea weed can cure it?
      Is that some snake oil umm spit?

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    6. There is a whole ocean filled with sea weed why would it be so expensive? Just curious?

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    7. is there anything else more available? I mean if there are so many things people use to successfully cure cancer (amigdalin, natural petroleum etc) there must be some natural thing that eases sarco too but the pharmaceutical industry ain't letting us know

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    8. ps you can sell my soul too, Blue, if it will help you buy more algae!

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    9. @Pat - Not cure it but suppress it. It isn't your everyday kinda sea weed or I would've taken a swim back in 2011.

      @True - Because it's a rare kind that is known to suppress problems stemming from chronic sarcoidosis, including exhaustion.

      @Dez - Nope. Unless you're a fan of Prednisone, which I know I'm not. The bottomline is: there's no cure. It's just too damn complex a problem. Don't sell your soul for me, Dez. Sell your man boobs.... :p

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    10. So need to when the lotto
      Then all the expensive seaweed can be umm botto

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    11. Hahaha! That's right
      Day or night

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  6. I do have to remember to smile when I am feeling tired which seems to be most of the time these days.

    Sending a smile your way

    betty

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    1. How come you're tired, betty?

      Thanks for the smile.

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  7. Invisible illnesses are always tough to explain. Chronic fatigue tends to walk hand in hand with migraines (as does fibromyalgia), but it's a darn mouthful to try and explain all that to someone. So, I usually just stick with the migraines, which they still don't understand unless they've had one. And then they can't believe that it's been a chronic (almost daily problem) since 2003. They're like, "Say what????"

    And I'm like, "Yeah."

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    1. I'm pretty much done explaining. They can't believe you've been in pain all that time? Lucky them, for it means they don't know what you're talking about. Yeah...

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  8. I know how you feel, some days I am just exhausted and everything in my body hurts but, I look ok so no one understands when you live with a chronic illness. I get these fog headaches and it is difficult to concentrate. On the bad days I just try to get some rest and do non-stressful activities. Keep smiling even when life hurts.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq-sxM20RMM

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    1. You look ok? Don't you mean mighty fine and then some? ;) Fog headaches... I don't think I could handle any of those. Thanks for caring.

      That's What Friends Are For. :)

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    2. Ah Blue, you are sweet, mighty fine and then some ;)

      That's what friends are for through the good times, the bad times and the in between times..

      Happy Sunday make it a fun day...

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    3. Will do
      With or without my shoe

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  9. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. All we can do is just keep going on, don't give up. It seems life loves to keep throwing things at us.

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    1. Oh don't worry about it. I'm used to it. It sucks a ton but I'm used to it. You're right: just keep going, Mary, so what are we waiting for?

      Hey, it's Sunday...
      Such a fun day!

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  10. I have fatigue issues as well and need to get the damn tests over already. But with dental issues and other stuff keep popping up like gophers I have been putting that on the back burner. End of April, I swear. Plus being self employed with no med insurance blows. Sure you can get some stuff covered at the free public hospitals but no such luck with dental. Yet I still smile as well because frowning aint never helped nobody. Unless you really hate the person talking to you and want them to get lost. Thanks for encouragement Blue and it is indeed important to manage your energy levels.

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    1. Those are the kind of gophers you don't like :( I'm sorry to hear you've got fatigue issues.

      Don't mention it, Sheena-kay. Encouragement is what we all need.

      Delete
  11. >>..."But whatever you do, don't forget that you're alive and that, unless you are in terrible pain, your friends and family are worth your while."

    posts with remarks like this keep me going. You're such a dear heart, Blue-green-man!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why, thank you Dixie. You nearly made me blush too.

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  12. I can very much relate to this post.
    Friends and family are everything.

    Hugs, Blue.
    Lyn

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    Replies
    1. Good to hear from you again, Lynda. :)

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  13. I'm glad you love the feel of the suns rays on your face & the breeze too. Both of these make me smile. Non visible illness suck. Pace yourself on that pony Blue! And keep dreaming of Bora Bora!!!!

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  14. I don't have chronic fatigue as I typically am energetic but I do suffer from insomnia. I don't sleep much but then it doesn't seem to diminish my energy. BUT as for the smiling part...I struggle with the pros and cons of keeping a smile on my face. I am by nature a smily person and smile at total strangers 99 percent of the time. I sometimes even say "hi" which confuses the hell out of people here. They look puzzled like they are supposed to know me or that I am confused and think that I know them. When I occasionally don't have a smile on my face, the people that know me are overly concerned I am ill or something. So now even if my day is per shit, I guess I need to be smiling.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Doesn't insomnia make you extremely tired too?

      People are so easily confused, and why is it everyone is walking on eggshells these days? We're so sensitive!

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  15. Ouch! Sorry to hear that, Blue. Fatigue, especially the chronic variety, colors everything. And it sure doesn't do much for our patience. Hope you get squared away and that one of these days it's a thing of the past.

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    1. Yes, it colors every square inch of my life, but that's alright.

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  16. LMAO about the dry humping! That brought back memories from high school.

    I have had chronic sleep deprivation and sympathize. As my friend Sue says, there is a reason it's used as torture.

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    1. High school... Is that a fact?

      Sometimes I'm so tired I can't sleep. Now, how does that make sense?

      Delete
  17. "Be like a Prius, only more attractive" New motto for my life

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    1. Glad to have been of assistance, Rooth. Now, what did you think of my horse's butt... too big?

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  18. I’m as tired as a boomtown whore and for the same reasons, sadly. I always think I look like a village idiot when I smile so tend not to waste the energy or ruin my red lips by doing so. ;P
    I, for one, love sitting in the sun. I close my eyes and breathe. I feel the sunrays touching my face. I notice the wind. I breathe. I hear. I know. That's bound to put a smile on my face and it won't hurt a bit. “ I am so with you on that, Blue. It’s always the simple things. You take care of your lovely self, ya hear?

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    1. Well, I can assure you you would never look like a village idiot even if you tried. Yes, it's the simple things, Jules.

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  19. When I try smiling on those days, it tends to look more like I'm in physical pain. So I gave up smiling.

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  20. Chronic fatigue
    What to make of it!
    Run around the house
    Hoping it'll exhaust

    Take it out of the system
    And one gets up and about again
    Yes, perhaps family and friends
    Can extend a helping hand

    But if they refuse to understand
    One is on one's own

    That should be the ultimate
    Solve one's problem with a nap
    No, no swearing
    But just lurking or snoring!

    Hank

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    Replies
    1. Snoring is my middle name
      Couch surfing is the game

      How's life?

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    2. Life's been treating Hank ok! And how's yours?

      Hank

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    3. My day has been as fine...
      As cheap wine:
      Booze
      Before a snooze ;)

      Delete
  21. A good dose of sun really is good for what ails you. Living well is the best revenge, even if we have to do it in small doses. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have been a sufferer of chronic fatigue for a few years now, so I cannot tell you how awesome it is to see a post on it. People just do not understand it. I guess it is impossible to understand unless you suffer from it. Thank you for posting about this.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the kind words, Keith. I'm sorry to hear you a sufferer of chronic fatigue, too. Do your eyes hurt?

      Delete
  23. Blue, you mischievous devil, you did not congratulate me on my Birthday on Tuesday, nor on Luke Evans's birthday on Friday! :)

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    Replies
    1. That sure makes me a handsome devil. You have now been officially added to my upstairs toilet birthday calendar. Happy belated birthday. You are still in one piece.

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    2. yes, a shabby one-slightly-broken-piece walrus marked in an upstairs toilet calendar :)

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    3. My upstairs MAN room (yeah, that would be singular) is a fine little palace. Just so you know.... :p

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    4. you might need to support this bragging with some photographic evidence!

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    5. Unless I need glasses, I'd think I'm being accused of bragging and boasting by the Dazzzling Dezzzmeister. Say it ain't so, cowboy!

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    6. can't be a cowboy! Although I did grow up on a farm I didn't have cows, only pigies... but don't get any ideas :)

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    7. I guess that makes you... a dazzling farmboy!

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  24. Chronic fatigue usually happens during finals week for me. Thanks for sharing this.

    https://ficklemillennial.wordpress.com/

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  25. Chronic fatigue sucks. I don't think any amount of sleep will ever make me feel energized and refreshed. I am sure Angie feels the same way. With UC, the fatigue is always present. Yet, I do like to sit out in the sun and feel the warmth on my face. I'll take that over a nap any day.

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    1. I prefer a bit of sunshine over a nap. I just wish I could choose... It's not like I like to nap.

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    2. I used to like naps, but when you have to take them so frequently just to get through the day, the novelty definitely wears off fast.

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    3. That's a fact. It's a bit like paying taxes.

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  26. Hey Blue,

    And a case in point, or two, or three, indeed, Blue dude, with my on ridiculous battle with chronic, moronic fatigue, its taken me 12 days to get here. Either I'm slow, or my computer's slow.

    A thoughtful post and do I understand just how difficult it can be just switching on the computer and formulating a decent post such as yours. Yes, visualise something good and we do our best to not let this condition overwhelm us. A bit of humour, um, humor, with a dash, or is that a slow jog of irony and we're gonna' make it.

    All the beast, um, best, my illustrious friend.

    Gary....

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    Replies
    1. You know what I'm talking about. All the beast ha ha ha that's so funny.

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  27. It's a day early but have a great weekend and fun Friday, Blue.

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    Replies
    1. The early bird catches the worm! Hi Sandra :)

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  28. As someone who suffers from depression, I know how that can go. Not just with always being tired, but the lack of smiling thing. People seem to think that if they tell me "Cheer up, things are great!" and force me to feign a smile that a light switch will flip in my head and I'll go OHHHH THAT was my problem! Alright, I'm happy as a clam now!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm feeling the fatigue too and no help on the horizon! I'm to translate six books (At least) till the end of summer (about 3,000 pages in total or more) which means at least 30 to 40 pages a day. Can you shoot me now, Blue, oh, please, oh, please, oh, please!

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    1. 40 pages a day... that's ridiculous.

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    2. more like tragical and possibly lethal... oh, sing me a sad song on the day of Bard's 400th birthday, would you, sing of my toil?

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    3. Shall I compare thee to a night real cold
      Of absent opportunities, no riches untold?

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    4. Bravo, sir, bravo, I say! Now pluck a few cords on your lute, for me.....

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    5. Pluck... pluck... until I get stuck.

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    6. Sir means cheese in Serbian, by the way :)

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    7. it totally is, geez, you really don't know any Serbian..... not that I know any Dutch even though I've spent countless hours worshipping in the shrine of Rudolph Van Veen....

      Delete
  30. I can't believe I didn't comment on this..... I know I read it but where's my name? Oh I forgot, I changed my name but my old names aren't here either. I love your expressios....tired as a boomtown whore. Now that must be TIRED. I think of Chicago Jo who became Helena's boomtown richest madam, having politicans in her pocket. (Esp. heavy). In fact, I named a room at the inn after
    her....get it..... whore, tired, inn room, sleep. I guess I kinda thought that way
    all along but didn't know it. LOL
    Bllue, hope you got some beautiful sleep by now.

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    Replies
    1. So tell me about your old name. Yes, that expression really nails it (pun intended) ;) Thanks for stopping by. Now, excuse me while I go and continue my snore.

      Delete
    2. Blue
      You know, Manzi.... Manzanita, Bea Jay..... what they call me behind my back, I don't know. All my life, people seemed to want to change my name (my real name being Belva Jane) because it was a name they had never heard, I guess.
      I want my real name on my obit and I'm taking it back NOW. I also wanted to get rid of aol. Time for a change all the way. I wish I had more time to devote to the new blog but the little greenhouse is bursting with things to plant. I have to check to see if your plant made it through the winter.
      People who know me as Manzi can continue to call me that, or any
      thing they please but it gives me peace to think of myself in my own'name. Pax vobiscum

      Delete
    3. Haha well, pour me a drink and call me Skippy. I didn't recognize you without the shades plus I didn't expect it to be you - oh dear.. that's so funny. My name is Randy but you know I'm always blue. I bet that plant is one happy Blueplant. :)

      Delete
    4. Hey Skippy
      Drink poured. I knew your name was Randy without being told. I remember, I called you Randy, I swear, never hearing your real name. When you said that WAS your name, at first I thought you were josh'n. (No, I knew you weren't Josh....here we go again....LOL) Guessing my real name would have been like guessing Rumplestiltskin. Although I see in the bookstores, there's an author's name of Belva Plain. (Her's is probably fictious.)
      Ain't nothing blue about your plant....it's Happy Blue.

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    5. Happy Blue... That's such a relief!

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    6. Blue didn't know
      "shakes head back and forth" at my show

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    7. That's real funny, cat
      Now go sit on your mat

      Delete
  31. That was a heck of a title! I'm exhausted just reading it. I can't imagine how exhausted you must be after typing it. I think I'll go smile, and then have a nap.

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  32. Have a productive and pleasant week, Blue.

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  33. Good afternoon, Blue. Hope today has been a good for you. On your comment on S day:) I had a silver too years ago, one of my all time favorites. I'd love to have another one.

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    1. I can imagine. They were so sweet. I had one that was skinny and one that was fat, and they were the best of friends. I miss them.

      Delete
  34. Hi Blue,
    How's my Cat Whisperer Friend today?

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    Replies
    1. Why do you have a day off in the middle of the week? :) Students are striking against you? :)

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    2. I hope they are studying for their finals.

      Delete
  35. If that was TRUE dry humping, I'd probably fall off the horse.

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  36. My word you write well, Blue. Love the analogy between insomnia and a Prius, by the way too.

    Sleep is such a luxury. I hope in the short passage of time you will be able to afford it. (That was such a cliché I know, but you get the gist!)

    Take care, Blue :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I write well? Maybe that's because I have Dezzmaster Inc. write my posts for me ;)

      You're too kind. Now, say it again.

      Have a great weekend, Wendy! (Why am I shouting?)

      Delete
  37. I left a comment but bloody Google swallowed it ... can't remember what I said now :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What comment? What comment? Which one? Which one?

      Delete
    2. Oh, I see now. You have comment moderation on. That's why I couldn't see my first comment when I went back. Long story. Don't mind me ...

      You have a good weekend too, Blue :)

      Delete
    3. That's because this post is fairly old... It gets switched on after two weeks. I should write a new one.

      Delete
  38. My heart goes out to you, Blue. I'm sending lots of love and positive vibes your way. - along with a prayer, hope you don't mind :) -

    Those of us who suffer from an invisible illness are a rare breed Blue. We slap a smile on our face sometimes because we feel like we're supposed to. It's easier than explaining what ails us. And it's a hell of a lot easier than hearing, "Have you tried this yet?" Sure they mean well and their heart is in the right place but we're the ones with the medical condition which means we're the ones talking to the experts in the field. I know, I'm preaching to the choir. Just wanted to let you know, you're not alone, Blue. I understand and I hope things improve for you very soon.

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    1. Of course I don't mind. I don't know a lot of people who'd send me a prayer. :))

      "Have your tried this yet?" Well, what do you think? I've tried everything except jumping off a roof. I'm about to.

      That's sweet of you, Elsie. I know you understand.

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  39. Yay, Blue, it's Friday! Enjoy to the max.

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  40. much love your way, Blue.
    chronic fatigue is something i experience too. it doesn't become real until or unless someone has actually experienced it. recently, i've added chronic pain to that due to a hampered nerve in the cervical spine. this one is making me lose my spirit. i don't why or how these things get to some people. it's like a misile launched at them for life.

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    1. It doesn't become real until or unless someone has actually experienced it... Exactly. Oh Jaya, I'm so sorry to hear about your pain. :((

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