"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Will you ever reach Bora?

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Being Ill Is a Pill — Let's Hope Independence Day Is Not

Yes, I'm ill, and being ill is a pill. Wait! Don't change channels just yet! Don't go zap-zap on me for this is not going to be a depressing post in the place to be on a beautiful Sunday morn. But I gotta tell ya... being ill still is one heck of a pill, and I'm in no mood to swallow. Do I look like Debbie from Dallas to you? Well? (If you want the fridge, the appropriate way to respond is to yell a convincing, not to mention, resounding, "No!") I thought so. 

Hello, blogger buddies and Zack Snyder. (Yes, Janie, I couldn't resist.) When breathing normally is a thing of the past and going to the gym to improve your shaky health is seriously out of the question, any attempt to let the creative juices flow bloggerwise becomes somewhat of a challenge, and it's more frustrating than being forced — without the force — to watch The Phantom Menace twice, even when you're drunk as a skunk minus the junk.

So what's the good news? The good news is I'm looking forward to June 24 for two completely different reasons. Number one, if things go as planned, June 24 will mark the moment when Blue wakes up (knock on wood — no, not that wood) only to realize in a state of complete disbelief that his vacation (a what?) has finally, FINALLY started. Plus on June 24 Independence Day — the movie, not the day — is set to make a big comeback, though I have to tell you, good people out there in the blogiverse... that colon in the title sure bugs me.

"I thought we were talking GOOD news?!!"

I know, Pickleope Von Pickleopeland, I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist. I'm weak that way. I know you're having a hard time but we're talking colons, not colonoscopy.

As you may know, the movie is called Independence Day: Resurgence, which kind of sounds like...

Star Trek: Insurrection

Notice the colons. The way I see it, colons are a tell-tale sign of creative impotence. I know this to be true because in the world of academia, my alternate reality and personal hell, basically every publication boasts the damn thing. Pardon my Swedish. Colons just happen to upset me. Every time I see a nasty colon creeping up on me, I feel academic impotence wants to slowly consume me like The Blob: The Reboot. Aaaaaaah! There's another one! Do you see what I mean? Colons mean business, and so do Hollyheads whose heads are (1) impotent and (2) empty. Maybe I should one day write an academic blob (not blog) entitled, "The Curse of the Colons: Why Colons Consume Creativity and You". Would you read it?

I suppose by now you will have come to realize that I truly am ill and in dire need of a pill, so excuse me while I go lie down again and dream of a life full of energy and dreams that I can actually remember. Screw those test papers. It's Sunday. And Independence Day: Resurgence had better be good!

P.S. Thank you for all your kind messages. I will be rebooted.

* * *

Who's that knockin' at my door?


  1. Best wishes with your rebooting. I'll be careful about colons.

    Have a nice day, my friend!

  2. 'tis not creative impotence you silly Blue, it's the fact most of the mundanes like it simple because everything above simple is too not simple for them to comprehend, capisce?

    PS did you try to take a pill on Ibiza?

    1. Are you calling me silly while I'm down in the dumps and illy? Those mundanes make me impotent. There. I said it. Now, where's that friggin' pill? Did I mention I like blue? :p

      Never ever been to Ibiza. Dare I watch that video?

    2. That guy has an impressive head. :p

    3. you don't even know :) He has a bum naked video too, did you know? I did... naturally....
      In other news, are you taking me to see WARCRAFT in the cinema this week?

    4. I thought you hated violence? I hate movies based on games.

    5. No pills on Ibiza. When he sobers up he'll feel 10 years older. I'm not sure that's the cure he's looking for her Dezzy ;)

    6. I'm not so sure either. Dezzz, what were you thinking?

      Were you thinking? :p

  3. What? Colons are that bad?
    No wonder ex-lax is needed at many a pad
    Hey, maybe it could lay waste
    We won't get crap turning minds to paste
    National Treasure: Book of Secrets like
    Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps can take a hike
    Babe: Pig in the City
    Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde I pity
    Fast and the furious:; Tokyo Drift
    Another not so swift
    Rambo: First Blood Part 2
    Can first blood come after first blood came due?
    I think now I need a pill
    Maybe one that isn't run of the mill

    1. Wall Street 2
      Can eat my shoe
      Spit it out and eat it anew
      Then kiss that ass owned by some Scooby Doo
      First Blood 2 was a joke all right
      Made me cry all night
      Legally Blonde why didn't you jump my bones
      That movie sucked like a bunch of drones
      Drones suck? Didn't you know
      As the IRS will send some right up your um... show?

    2. lol not a Shia fan
      Transformers sure has the : for robot vs man
      Will the drones find anything fun
      Maybe cave paintings that I can sell and make a ton
      Or Drone Wars: The Anal Retentive Crew
      Damn, what the IRS can do

    3. Drone Wars: The Anal Retentive Crew
      Sounds like something new might come due
      Will there be a probe?
      Will it require a bathrobe?
      The IRS can sit on a stick
      Or an ice pick
      Basic Instinct 3: Suspension of Disbelief
      Good grief
      Shia makes me snore
      Like that Indiana Jones part 4...

    4. Part 5 is coming in 2019
      If he doesn't croak by the time it hits the screen
      No Lucas involved though
      So may be less of a fake Tarzan wannabe show
      A stick may be longer
      They may feel that stronger
      Naked you may have to be
      A porno probing spree
      Sadly, that probably isn't new
      One thing I'd never want to view

    5. Indiana Jones V: Back In The Fridge
      Will it make us jump off a bridge?
      No Lucas... so no Martians and Skulls
      Will there be ancient seagulls?
      No, that probably isn't new
      I'd rather eat a shoe

    6. Ghostbusters meet Indiana Jones
      As the fridge gives nuclear groans
      Then they cross the streams
      And they blow up the reboot teams
      Taking Shia along for the ride
      And Lucas stays hidden with a blow to his pride
      Finally we get a good one
      Oh look, a fake monkey carrying a fake gun

    7. ZUUUUUUL 2
      Will it be cool
      Proton packs and chicks
      Full of rebooted tricks
      Shia can kiss his own butt
      Like a butt-sniffing mutt

    8. That would take skill
      He may not have the will
      But Zuuul will eat them all
      Be done with crappy reboots at any hall

  4. Sorry you're ill. Summer sickness is the worst. It's almost as bad as being forced to watch the new ID4: 2. What about impotent sequels that don't have the colon, like, Star Trek Into Darkness? The colon is a symptom, not the illness. What are your feelings about parenthesis and brackets in movie titles?

    1. Star Trek Into Darkness... Hey, I thought that was a metaphor making the movie surprisingly aptly named. I might've been too optimistic. Parentheses give me parenthesitis. Brackets make me barf, plain and simple. It's an alliteration thing.

  5. Still better than semicolons. Be glad it's not a semicolon.

    1. The Attack of the Semicolons... Just thinking about it gives me the willies.

  6. Now, why didn't they ever make a Spaceballs 2? Up until The Force Awakens came out last year, it was the best Star Wars movie since Jedi.
    Sorry you've been under the weather. Or since breathing has been difficult, should I say under the water? Sounds like a vacation is in good order!

    1. So true.

      "When will then be now?"

      Yeah, under the water just about covers it, Aex. Maybe I could borrow some of your ninja skills to feel a bit better.

  7. Not fun to be sick on a 3 day weekend! I am looking forward to that Independence Day movie; I do enjoy watching the old one over and over again. I don't want too many colons around; I spend some of my days typing procedures involved with them; so try not to use too many in my own writing.

    Do take care!


    1. I've been sick since July 2011, betty. You would think that's been long enough. Let's call it quits, right?

      Procedures involving colons... I hear ya.

      Thanks :)

  8. I hadn't noticed the proliferation of colons in movie titles. Undoubtedly, I will be noticing them in the future.

    I feel a bit intimidated by leaving a comment that is not in rhyme. You and Pat Hatt are seem to be quite talented in verse. When it comes to poetry, I suck...and for the life of me, I can't think of a word to rhyme with suck. See what I mean.

    Hope you feel better soon. Try to have a good weekend.

    1. Pass the buck
      No need to suck
      Like gas from a truck
      If you see a hockey puck
      You might want to duck
      Will avoid with any luck
      Then yell at the schmuck
      Maybe pelt them with muck
      They could be awe struck
      Or you could just watch Chuck
      Eyebrows need a pluck?
      Are you still stuck?
      That is just yuck
      Does a chicken cluck?
      Don't let them run amuck
      Give the covers a tuck
      Maybe go down the river with Huck
      Are you now just going umm fluck?

    2. Funny...
      Like a bunny?

      Hey, Suck rhymes with buck
      Outta dough means outta luck
      Outa luck means thunderstruck
      No, not moonstruck um Chuck
      Feeling kinda fluckety fluck?
      What the heck is pluckety pluck?
      What, your name isn't Huck?
      Could it be Zuck?
      Do you need a nip 'n' tuck?
      Botox or suck?
      Will it cost a truck?

      Many questions from The Goo
      At his Blue Guy Zoo

  9. HI Blue....
    Sorry to hear you are under the weather....still...
    Wishing you better health...
    When does school end for you.....?
    Linda :o)

    1. Still... like a never ending bill...
      School ends on June 24
      One month to go at my shore

      Hey, how are you today?

    2. Pretty darn good Blue....
      Having a heat wave....a tropical heatwave...
      Will you be on vacay for the summer?

    3. he can hardly wait for it to begin, Linda

    4. @Linda - I'm seriously in need of Boracation. I'm a mess. July is mine. All mine.

      @Dezzzmeister - Dare I ask?

    5. I love July...hope yours is THE best ever...
      Hi Dez...

    6. A Boracation in July... Wouldn't that be great?

      Now, excuse me while I go take a nap and dream about Blue's Bora Beach.

  10. Ugh. I feel for you, Blue. Hope the days leading up to June 24 pass swiftly.

    1. Thanks, Wendy. Good to hear from you.

    2. Blue, did you know Wendy's blog has been taken over by the Alien Overlords? They've been erasing all comments at her lair... you need to send Goldblum to the rescue! No Will Smith of course, unless we is feeding him to the aliens.....

    3. I would but I can't lie to you, she might have a poltergeist...

    4. I thought you had poltergeists for breakfast.

  11. Sorry to hear you've been ill (still). That certainly sucks big hairy ones as my mate likes to say. Colon smolon, I'm just happy when people punctuate! I recently had to word process a whole A4 page with not one full stop nor comma. And all in shouty capitals!!! A colon or semi colon would have been a welcome relief :-) !!!

    1. Thanks, AlleyCat. I'll be back.

      A whole A4 page and no commas or full stops? That must have been quite a sentence :(

    2. LOLZ a very long sentence....................

  12. I've been wondering where you've been. Being ill makes me blue, too.

    1. I know what you mean. I'll stop by real soon, okay?

  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Hey Blue, it is I true
      why not use an exclamation point!
      Independence Day 2 who would've knew
      sure hope it won't disappoint...

      Hey, I wouldn't mind another Guardian of the Galaxy ..that movie rocked the universe...

      Sorry to hear you are not well
      hope you will soon feel swell

      much love!

    2. An exclamation point... Now, why didn't I think of that?

      But that Guardian of the Galaxy: The Great Sequel had better be great.

      I'll be fine. Ill, sick and under the weather, but fine. ;)

    3. I don't know if they can make a better Guardian of the Galaxy and I wouldn't want to be disappointed. I've watched that like 7 times.

      haha - over the the title I see you inserted the :

      Well, as long as your fine and dandy all is well.

      Thinking of you!

      and here's a little something by Blue Swede

    4. Someone stole my voice in the middle of the night. How am I supposed to sing along?

    5. Who would steal your voice dear blue?
      How could this happen to you?
      Well you tell them to bring it back
      Then we can sing some tracks

    6. I blame the ghost of Elvis
      He couldn't take it anymore
      You know... me singing his songs
      Can't say I blame him :)

    7. The ghost of Elvis haunts you
      I am sure you are a wonderful singer
      How could it not be true?

      You have a birthday soon
      what can I do to make you swoon

    8. Tomorrow I'll be old
      And still no riches untold
      And no post to cap it all
      Just a sick blue guy at my hall
      So make me swoon real quick
      Do your magic trick
      Beyond the stars you'll go
      Do stop by at my show
      That'll make me swoon and more
      Take me to that Bora shore

  14. Screw those test papers!
    Yes, keep them lying there
    There are other matters
    Getting a good rest is only fair

    Colons: Why, they are just niceties
    Quick way in getting things across
    Can well leave them in peace
    To write the normal way of course!


    1. Hank
      The Poetry Tank
      Knows best
      And I'm not saying this in jest! ;)

  15. Feel better soon! Being sick in the summer when it's nice out is never fun

    1. Thanks, Rooth. I'll come and stop by real soon, okay?

  16. Hope you feel better soon.

    Wasn't aware IMDb listed adult films.

    1. I was as surprised as you are. That must be some kinda movie all right.

      Thanks :)

  17. Oh the reference to swallowing is priceless, Debbie. However, she can’t do Dallas like I do Texas. Just sayin’

    You could shove a pill up your colon…. ;)

    Get well soon my blue chunk of loveliness, you are missed.

    1. There it is... a big smile on my face.

  18. Good! Smiles maketh Blue men better :) Dr Jules is in the Grumpster house.

  19. dcrelief: M&Ms Addict

    Feel better, Darling Blue!!!

    1. All I need is Bora and a truckload of M&Ms. Is that asking too much?

    2. No, that's not too much to ask.

    3. Good. Come and join in on the fun.

  20. Being sick is never fun, especially when it's not something that's going to come and go quickly. I see lots of love for you in the comments. Adding mine as well. :)

    1. Welcome Blue. School's out! Is it out for you too?

    2. Yes, it is. But I'm teaching spring and summer school, so... you know... But I'm not complaining. No job = no money = no fun.

  21. Sorry you haven't been feeling well, Blue! Here's hoping that your summer vacation rolls around real fast. Though, I do have my colonoscopy scheduled 2 days before your vacay starts, I am hoping it doesn't come around too quick for me. TMI? Hey, you were the one who started all this talk about colons ;)

    1. methinks, Blue now needs to play us some mandolin after this talk....

    2. @Theresa Dear - A colon.. oscopy... two days before the fun starts? :( TMI involved man boobs.

      Dezzmeister Dear - Ha!

    3. I can hear the sad tones now, Dezzy!

      Man Boobs are never cool. Sadly, we will see a lot of them at the beach this summer.

    4. Sing me a song of a lad that is gone, say could that lad be I.....

    5. No voice, no song. (No brain damage)

  22. I hope you feel better soon! Check out Grace and Frankie if you have Netflix. You'll laugh your blue ass off.

    1. Thanks, Ms Riot. Is Grace a double fox? If so, I'll check her out. :D

  23. I hope you're feeling better soon, Blue. Hugs!

    1. I needed that hug. Now, everybody else go eat your heart out.

    2. Well then, here's another one my dearest Blue friend. And I'll keep them coming until you're feeling your finest because you deserve them!

    3. I'm feeling a bit better now. A bit. :)

  24. I enjoyed the special effects of the movie Independence Day.

    1. I wonder what the White House looks like in part 2.

  25. Hope you feel better soon dear grumpy boy <3 <3

    1. Thank you, Gloria Dear. It's almost your birthday.

    2. it's almost your blueday as well!

    3. I know. Happy Blue Day to me. Nine days from now. Will my world collapse?

    4. most certainly, in an avalanche of whipped cream and chocolatequake

    5. Is that some kind of fancy metaphore for old age and decrepitude?

    6. indeed, your body will soon melt like chocolate and your skin will become white as avalanche.... how did you guess?

    7. By looking in the mirror. It may tremble but that doesn't mean I can't tell. I need botox minus the needles.

  26. Notice the colons. The way I see it, colons are a tell-tale sign of creative impotence.

    Tuck Watley: Freedom Fighter Fighter


    So... you got any creative boner pills?

    1. I was waiting for it hahahaaaaaaaaaa! No, your book is unique. Unique books make a colon look, you know, good.

      Sorry to hear about that crappy agent, fellas.

    2. Oh, you say that now, but when the second one comes out and we're still using that colon, you'll change your tune. Just you watch.

      And the loss of the agent is no big deal. We just hope you start feeling a little better so you can enjoy that summer vacation and Independence Day 2: Welcome to Earf.

    3. But will it be a new and improved tune, I wonder. Probably not. Like Elvis and his jumpsuits, you two are the only ones who make a colon look great and appropriate. ;)

      Thanks. I hope I'll be there so see how Earf gets saved again. Will there be a singing fat lady?

  27. Sorry you're not feeling well. I know what it's like not to feel good.

    1. I hope you're not an expert in chronic fatigue.

      Thanks, Mary.

  28. Hi Mr. Blue,

    My humblest of humble apologies for taking so long to get here. Much like what you can relate to, I'm still trying to reboot my boots, so that my last two brain cells can boot into gear and actually gather a bit more strength to comment on my blog sites, yes, even your fine, thoughtful site, good Blue sir.

    I sure hope you have some Independence Day in your reality, as of June 24.

    Yep, "The BLOG: The Reblog..."

    I'm going now
    And how
    Back to my site
    Out of sight
    All right...

    Gary, Gary, nary contrary, never scary, or flairy...

    1. Hello, Gary
      ALWAYS flairy
      Never scary...

      May those two remaining brain cells turn into four. Wishing you good health.


  29. Hi Blue,
    I sure wish you were feeling better.
    I too can't wait to see Independence Day. I'm really surprised it's not coming out July 4.
    Sending lots of positive energy your way.

    1. Yeah... how come it's not coming out July 4?

      Thanks for the energy :)

  30. The very best of wishes on your reboot, sir. I am sending you positive vibes. I am super excited to see the new Independence Day. I loved the original :)

    1. That makes two of us. I wonder what the new White House is gonna look like....

      Thanks for your kind wishes.

    2. I hope you feel better real soon, blue!!! Independenice will be good because if all else fails, we will have the hunky mr. Hemsworth to completely stare and drool over. Yum!

    3. I hope WE doesn't include me :p

    4. she thought of me, most likely.....

    5. By we I meant the entire world!! I mean, who doesn't appreciate those icy blue eyes?? Haha

    6. Well, I'm sure he's a nice guy, but I'd choose yours over his any time. No, Dez, I wasn't talking about yours :p

  31. You dont come see my little birthday cakes, come grumpy blue you always are welcome :) ♡♡♡♡♡

    1. I'm so absent-minded. I saw your name on my calendar and it still slipped my mind.

  32. Hey Blue
    So sorry you aren't feeling new.
    I hope with the reboot
    Your health it will suit.

    Meanwhile all those colons and semis
    Are not worth many pennies.
    I knew a lady useing lots of exclamations
    When excited about communications . . . lol

    And I hope dearly we will have OUR UK Independence Day
    When On 24 June we will get out of EU, let's hope and pray.
    On 23 we vote to Remain or Leave
    I'm for going . . . 1,2,3, . . . heave.
    Then we shall have our country back
    And be great again and well on track
    To recover and grow and get very wealthy
    And have an economy which is very healthy.

    Hope you feel better soon, Blue . . .
    Sorry I have been away for so long . . . lots going on here.

    1. Leave that darn It-Is-Being-Shoved-Down-Your-Throat Europe. Europe isn't a melting pot so why do they insist on creating one like it's a rich folks' toy? Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

  33. Oh drat blogger, that's really awful
    My poem has vanished and I've let out a jaw full . . lol

    I said, and I repeat, "Hiya Blue
    I'm sorry yer feeling not quite new.
    I hope you benefit from your reboot
    In your quest for better health pursuit.

    I'm not that impressed either with the colon,
    the full one or the semi-colon.
    But I know a lady who uses oodles of exclamations
    When she gets excited during email communications . . . lol

    Enjoy on 24th the new Independence Day
    and hope it is a great movie to see that day.
    I am looking forward to our own Independence
    From the EU if leave vote gains ascendance.
    On 23 we vote remain or leave
    If we stay I will sulk and grieve.
    We want our country back to rule
    And not let Brussels with us fool.

    Hey, I've just thought where my comment went
    It's not in hyperspace and was sent
    For you to authorise before you publish
    To see if is a whole heap of rubbish . . . . . hahaha

    I did not lose it after all
    Now you have two ~ have a ball !!!

    Cheers Blue
    Please get well . . . :)

    1. Yes, I've got the original and... the reboot! Ha! What a hoot! Lucky me, and thank you for taking the time to write such a wonderful poem. I appreciate it.

      So tell me about the exclamation marks and someone being all excited during email communications... I'm curious. :D

    2. lol . . . she was my first blogging friend and we became like soul mates and very close and we wrote loads of emails to each other. She was/is a genius and was a journalist, a writer, a painter and I called her Mary Poppins because she was practically perfect in every way. She used to have a Volkwagon Beetle and I used to rease her that there was no engine under the hood but they put a spare one in the boot. I featured in one of her novels . . . as a paramedic. We still write occasionally but alas she has reduced the number of exclamation marks in her sentences . . .

      I'll venture over to your new post soon . . . cheers . . :)

  34. Hugs and well wishes and maybe a couple of semi-colons to distract you from the colon pain (eat more vegies!! ahhahahahaha soz I couldn't resist).

    1. Good one, Lynda! I nearly fell off my chair. Good thing I was on my couch :D

  35. Just dropping by to wish you the happiest of BlueDays, Blue! Or let is at least be the least crappiest that it can be!
    Hope Angelina is making you a cake today and that Mongo is not licking the whipped cream.....
    Did you buy yourself a new suit?

    1. Thanks, Dezzzmeister. I'd take the last crappiest one. No cake and I'm not sure I want to know what Mongo is licking... No new suit either.

      Hmmmmmmmm. I might have to do something about that.

  36. One of my favorite bloggers spilled the beans that it's your birthday!!! Haaappppyyyyy bbbiirrttthhhhddaayyy, blue!!! Xoxo here's to many more filled with lots of happiness. :)

    1. I'm so old, I may need to start lying about my age.

      Thanks :))))


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