MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Saturday, January 21, 2017

The Need to Stay Upbeat

You've heard it said before by your average grumpster: "When I was young, everything was better. I might as well jump off a bridge and call it a day." To those sauerkraut sniffers I, the Blue Grumpster, just want to say one thing. You would've loved the Dark Ages! Smile, you doomsday fetishist! Stay upbeat, for life's too short to moan and groan. Plus.... moaning makes you ill. What? 


That's right. And to convince you all of the veracity of that statement, I'll quote my friend Theresa, who, I hope, is your friend, too. She said, "Blue, you handsome devil, you, I'll stay upbeat because getting angry and sad about the situation only aggravates my symptoms." Well, there's that — case closed, and I couldn't agree more. And it doesn't really matter what symptoms she's talking about. Any symptom is made worse when you're angry 24/7 or more stressed out than, say, a toad on the road or a chick on a stick or a beaver non-believer running a hell of a swamp fever. I guess. The point is, don't do it. Zip the lip and save the moan and groan chorus for another day. We're running out of ears, dear.

But what if my girlfriend just broke my heart and I can't find a bridge to jump off? Or if my ass is so big people are starting to call me The Butt That Grew a Person? Or if ex-blogger buddies call me a misogynist and I feel so violated? Boo hooo hooo! Or if the stack of medical bills sitting on my desk is so high eating the damn thing might actually seem akin to eating a nutritious, if unaffordable, meal? What if a kangaroo stole my blue suede shoe? The Cat would say, "Well, Whoopdi Friggin Doo!"

Oh I'm not talking about people dying. I'm not talking about people in despair, people who are in unimaginable pain. They've got a right to complain, all right. I'm talking about your average Moan and Groan Fest. "Oooooooh my iPhone's so slow! Ooooooooh my President is so stupid! Where's my stuff! Where's my stuff!" People seem to complain a lot these days. You may have noticed. My theory is that, here, in the west we're just too damn spoiled. We want it all and we want it now. That's just not gonna happen. What we need to do is whine less and smile more. What say you?

I know, staying upbeat is somewhat of a challenge when you're drowning in your own spit like me (what?) and, because of that um temporary setback, you can't lie down to take a nap, which is what your body really needs. Or when you're coughing maniac-style (and then some) like you're trying to win the Pulmonic Olympics. Or when you're so bushed, fried and plum tuckered out just thinking about the Olympics makes you want to jump off that bridge, but you know you're too pooped to get off that trendy couch. And yet.... that shouldn't keep you from trying (to smile, not to jump). You're not afraid of a challenge, now, are you?

For one, smiling reduce stress, the one thing that can bring me down so I'd better start my workout right now. "And smile! And smile! And smile! And smile! Two more, soldier!" Hey, put a smile on your face and it'll release those lovely little endorphins that counteract those vicious stress hormones floating around in your body wreaking havoc just for the fun of it. Don't you know that smiles — real ones so much more than the fake ones your politically-correct yet impressively hypocritical colleagues try to trick you with as if you're some frigging moron from Mars (they'd call you "hypocritically-challenged," no doubt) — help your body.... relax, allowing the immune system to do its job more quickly and saving you in the process? Not to mention that a smile makes you look much more attractive. "Hey, how are you doing?"

Unless, of course, you smile like THIS.

It's weekend! Have a good one (cough cough)! Where's that (cough coughfuckosomething when you need it? And where's my blue suede shoe? See, that pisses me off! Harrrrrrrrrrrrr! (cough cough)

Blue

* * *

"But... my neighbors moan and they sound happy."

68 comments:

  1. Blue, we need this advice particularly at this time! Keep hanging in there. Attitude is so important!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Attitude is all it takes
      Until something breaks :)

      Delete
  2. Yeah, soooo many bitch and complain
    Couldn't fit them all on any train
    And it does flare up crap
    So whoopdi friggin doo should be given a lap
    Complaining is a luxury that many don't have out there
    They do what needs to be done and shut up at their lair
    But not the lazy, PC, poor pitiful me nuts of the first world
    Nope, say one wrong thing and their lips get curled
    Don't follow the trend and all come after you
    Like a horde of idiots who can only moo
    Or maybe baaaaa too
    Or some other farm animal that can come due
    They just whine and whine and whine some more
    Pound sand up their arse is all they get at my shore

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look at you go
      Doing the no whino show
      No trend is worth a try
      Trends get old and then bye bye
      First world cries are loud and clear
      As they can't handle the fear
      Oh dear
      Hear hear
      But so it is
      As they're doing the whino biz...

      Delete
    2. Yep, wouldn't know what to do
      They'd boo and hoo and boo and hoo
      If they had to live like many others around the planet
      Instead they whine and just fan it

      Delete
    3. When they go boo hoo hoo
      I'd like for them to go sniff a blue shoe
      Give them a reason to cry
      Or jump off a bridge like they could fly

      Delete
  3. Moaning and complaining don't solve anything. And most of it is pointless and makes no sense. (Just ask all the moaners from yesterday.)
    Sometimes a moment of anger is just needed though!
    Then go back to smiling. No, that's not a smile. Smile, damn it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yesterday I snored all day so no moaning at my bay. But I know what you mean. My Momma used to say, "Don't cry before I slap you." I think she had a point.

      Delete
  4. Wait what? Angelina just broke your heart?
    A perfect mental enema and a way to stay upbeat as much as possible and as much as health (does not)allows us is to kick the telly out of the house like I did a year and a half ago. Ignorance is a bliss.

    Are you still coughing? That much? What do the doctors say?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS don't trash other bloggers or mention their evil deeds in your posts, even if they deserve it, it's petty and not pretty, stay dignified and let them rot in their own nastiness

      Delete
    2. Angie Baby is my wife, not my girlfriend. You know that, Dezzzzmeister Von Dezzyland. But she broke my heart all the same by making me sleep on the couch these past few weeks.

      I doing much better now, coughing-wise. The Docs don't say a lot what with sarco being a bitch and all. Two more days and then it's sayonara prednisone. See what happens after that...

      P.S. I'm not dignified. Some people deserve some extra attention.

      Delete
    3. I know she's your wife, but you put it up there in a present context so me got a bit confused.... How come Angelina never sleeps on the couch and lets you cough in the comfort of your bedroom?

      If they deserve attention it means they matter, people who hurt you don't matter, easy peasy. Might send you an email on it if I feel like it :)

      Delete
    4. I know you know so.... um....we all know. Yes! Oh that's an easy one. The living room is so much bigger than the bedroom. There's truckloads of oxygen plus the fridge is nearby.

      Read the email, edited the joke a bit. Check!

      Delete
    5. I agree with you, Blue. To hell with being dignified. Some people deserve some *extra* attention. Say no more ...

      Delete
    6. Whatever we decide to drink, I've tried this stuff and we should skip this one - much as I like the color, it's garbage: click!

      Delete
    7. Well I never. Blue wine? Whatever next?
      White Wendy? lol

      Delete
    8. Who knows! Be careful what you wish for.

      Delete
  5. Hopefully the coughing is getting better.
    I had a therapist once tell me, No matter how bad or depressed you are feeling on the inside, you should make an effort to smile and laugh on the outside. Sometimes faking being happy is all it takes to put you in a better mood. And I have to say that sometimes it really does work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure does, Mary. The coughing is now under control (knock on wood). Thanks for asking.

      Delete
  6. Stay upbeat? With HIM in the White House?

    Hmm.

    Gotta think on this...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or read a comic to escape reality. I do it all the time. Works like a charm plus I get to laugh, too.

      Delete
  7. What the world needs is more wine ... then perhaps people would smile more.
    After all, two - three glasses of wine per day reduces your risk of giving a shit.

    Sorry about your ongoing health problems, Blue. Ugh. There's always something, eh? And now on top of it all, you have got Trump as POTUS ... *cough cough*

    Moving swiftly along ......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did someone say, "Wine!"? Count me in, Wendy! Bottoms up! What are we drinking today?

      Delete
  8. Stay upbeat, for life's
    too short to moan and groan

    Many would have loved to be comforted
    Those who realized it would have resorted
    To live life to the fullest
    Enjoying it even with limited resources!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  9. Indeed. Smiling and laughing really does help us. I've always admired the folks that can downplay and laugh off a negative. It's something I need to work on.
    Wishing you a restful, enjoyable Sunday, Blue.

    ReplyDelete
  10. There will be no jumping off of bridges, unless it is for fun..bungee jumping might make you smile or scare the crap out of you..Free falling...

    Laughing is great medicine for the soul, it releases tension and who wants to carry around a bunch of tension.

    Laughter - brightens even the darkest day
    Adds joy and zest to your daily life
    Un-restrained, find your inner child
    Giggling brings a smile to you face
    Hilarity is the ability to find humor
    Treat yourself to a dose of chuckles
    Entertainment found in sharing jokes/stories
    Rejoicing in the sound of your laughter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now, that's a wonderful comment, True. No jumping off of bridges.:)

      Delete
    2. "your" - dang...lol..oopsie...

      Delete
    3. How are you feeling Blue? A little honey is good for a cough...just sayin'

      Delete
    4. I know. Too bad that won't do the trick when sarco is your enemy. Does that keep me from eating, drinking and staring at a truckload of honey? No, it doesn't. :)

      Sleep tight.

      Delete
    5. Keep on keep'in on
      into the morning light

      Delete
    6. Will do
      With or without a blue shoe

      Delete
  11. Nothing worse than a persistent cough. Pretty hard to smile when your hacking all day long :(

    Good for you for calling out people on their shit. I may just do that myself some day. I have one lady who likes to write some not very nice things on my social media, but when I look at hers, it's a bunch of stupid memes about being nice and positive and all that sappy jazz. Leaves me scratching my head, but she just comes for the giveaways so she doesn't matter much anyway...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She comes for the free stuff... Figures.

      So funny: compare your "you're" with Truedessa's um..."your".

      Delete
    2. Guess we both had quick draw fingers when typing our responses. I noticed I did a "too" when it should have been "to" on Dezzy's post the other day. My fingers like to dance to their own tune sometimes, even if it's not what my brain is telling them to do :)

      Delete
    3. Plus this isn´t spilling bee. I mean... spelling bee. Speaking of dancing... my brain tends to do things with the images it receives from my eyes that should be forbidden. For example, right now, when I look at the walls of my living room, they seem to be dancing, too. Yes, a nap will do.

      Delete
  12. I smile all the time. Even when I don't feel like it. Even when I'm rying on the inside. Even when it's not always easy. And I feel the our country needs to smile a lot more, and hug more and often. Smiling and hugging is good. And no, I'm not drunk haha. Wish I was though. It would explain my current mood. -Anyway, I hope your coughing subsides, eases up on you and I hope no more couch stays for you either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Yvonne. So kind of you to say that. I feel a bit better now. Prednisone wants to be my friend but the feeling isn't mutual. :)

      Delete
  13. What is this, national "Jump Off The Bridge" week? You are
    the second jumpy person in a jumpy mood. OK, what bridge
    and the time. I'll be there. Now what does one wear to a jumping?
    I got it..... a "jump suit."
    I don't think you have to try to be all smiley and perky when you don't
    feel good and are in the throes of coughing fits. But you are funny, "The butt
    that grew a person." Good one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure pleases me to have made my friend Belva smile. A jump suit... haha I nearly fell off my chair. Don't make me cough now!

      Delete
    2. Jump suit that is clever
      I will take a parachute with mine
      for a jumping endevor

      Delete
    3. Good idea.
      Does it come with a beer?

      Delete
    4. Drink some beer
      have no fear.. lol

      I'll take red wine
      It makes me feel fine

      Delete
    5. Just skip the vino blue CLICK!
      Doesn't taste great - it's true.

      Delete
  14. If you have not already rolled over and died, smiling is the better option. Trying to stay positive can be hard at times but drowning in negativity never fixed anything. Stay sunny, Blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will do, Sheena-kay! Will do or my name is... Scooby Doo.

      Delete
  15. If there's any positive about this post, it's that The Butt That Grew a Person is now my favorite new childish insult. Thanks for adding that to my insult tool belt.

    On a serious note, it's easy to only see the worst in people and dwell on that, but that's no way to live, unless you want to stress yourself out into an early grave. There's a huge difference between being upbeat and being naive, and it's strange to me that so many people see the two as going hand in hand.

    Anyways, back to fat butt jokes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome. But... I do need to know more about that insult tool belt of yours. It sounds impressiv - not to mention... cool.

      Hand in hand... Nope, I don't think so.

      CRACK me a joke. Get it? Get it? I thought as much. :)

      Delete
  16. I've been trying so hard to complain less this year but it's SO HARD and the same grievances I had last year are still more or less present this year. I suppose I should get off my butt and do something about them... maybe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No one said it would be easy, Rooth. It is not. Just give it your best shot without deluding yourself. You're smart and I know you're no quitter either.

      Delete
  17. I love those endorphins.
    Hope you are having a pleasant, productive week with some energy thrown in.

    ReplyDelete
  18. LOL! Sauerkraut sniffers... But I like sauerkraut. =) Love your upbeat take--and thank you for that. I'm grinning as I type.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You like sauerkraut... but I'm sure you're not a sauerkraut sniffer :)

      Delete
  19. Here's my thoughts handsome Blue: you're absolutely right. Happiness is a choice. Sometimes it's a difficult choice to make because things in our world are dark and bleak. During times like this, for me at least, I have to decide to find that silver lining no matter how thin it is and make the choice to see that light rather than the grey of the cloud inside. It's how I manage through the pain of migraines each week. Screw this disease. I may have migraines but they don't have me. Things could always be worse, but they aren't. My life is pretty gosh darned good.

    I hope that things in your world look brighter and brighter and that silver lining on your clouds gets thicker and thicker, my dear friend. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Elsie. Sweet of you to say that. Good to hear your life is "pretty gosh darned good." I'm happy for you. Will those horrible migraines every go away?

      Delete
    2. No. They won't. Not for me or my youngest child. And for my child it's a bit worse because they didn't even get a chance to start a career, let alone go to college, fall in love...etc., but again...happiness in a choice. We cannot wallow in muck and I cannot allow my child to wallow in it either. I must help them see that in the scheme of things, they've got it pretty gosh darned good too. I hope you do too, Mr. Blue.

      Delete
    3. Never... That sounds familiar to me. Poor, poor kid. :(

      Delete
  20. I'm heartened by the people who are standing up for what's right and saying they won't stand for this. That is making me as happy as I can be in these circumstances.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I couldn't agree more. I'm sick of people walking on eggshells all the time. I need people around me who speak their mind.

      Delete
  21. Thank you Blue for a great post. I did not read this post when you wrote it, but right now is maybe the best time for me to read it. Thanks again. Smiling for you here, K.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Whine less, smile more!!! Maybe I should double that into that to wine less smile more :-) :-) :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait a minute... Should that be more wine, more smiles?

      Delete

Speak your mind.