When I cook, nuns flee and curse melodic tunes:
"That Blue will never learn!"
But when you cook, oh magic makes the world go round!
For you know how to strike a balance —
Perhaps learned it the hard way,
But you make it work:
Turn, don't burn. Bake, don't break.
A bit more salt, a bit less pepper;
Patience, too — oh it is the darndest thing.
It's like you know things that I cannot see.
It's like your mind can touch a light, that pure creativity.
Tell me, dear, what is your secret recipe?
You want to know my secret recipe, Dearest Blue? Okay, I’ll tell you.
A lot of sweetness with a pinch of spice, yes, that makes life so nice.
Spread love as sweet as jam, cheer as thick as honey,
And gratitude as warm as fresh baked bread;
Follow those directions for a life well led.
Sometimes the recipe doesn’t turn out as planned, but that’s okay;
You can always try again some other day.
You may have to eat a slice of humble pie,
Just remember when doing so to keep your head held high.
What is it you would like to see?
When the oven closes, look through the window on the door,
There you’ll see the magic you are hoping for.
When I cook, old buzzards run — afraid I'd break their dentures.
Teach me how to make a circle round, show me your adventures.
I'd like to see — I'd like to see... how you manage your time:
How you slice 'n dice, how you use that ole grate;
How you manage your time and make it sublime.
See, I've burned my fingers many times, served too many dishes cold;
I'm as blunt as blunt can be.
I've disappointed when in fact I should have tried.
But when you cook, Theresa, you turn green into gold.
You chop 'n chop and back they come more beautiful than ever:
A dish will come alive as cooking sets you free.
Now, when I chop 'n chop 'n chop, believe me, it all dies — forever.
Voorhees can't slash like me, not even when he tries.
Then Elton sings that salad song, a veggie eulogy:
"It seems to me you lived your life like a carrot in the wind," and then:
"Blue cut you up, real fine and, yes, we never saw you back again."
I know.
I lack your Mixed Nuts Zen.
* * *
Follow her advice, Blue! Look for that magic. No, not the flames of your burger on fire - the spark of magic.
ReplyDeleteWell done, you two!
Haha good one, Alex. Theresa sure came through!
DeleteYet another brilliant collaboration. A dish you assuredly can cook - and serve. No calories in it either.
ReplyDeleteNo calories whatsoever :)
DeleteLove it! I'm definitely on team Theresa - cooking is my happy place!!!!
ReplyDeleteWait... You're a good cook, too? Everyone knows how to cook, but I can't cook to save my life. My specialty is frequenting restaurants. Now, doesn't that sound positively posh?
DeleteHahaha restaurants can be fun too :-) :-) :-)
DeleteLo and behold: Blue is running... toward a restaurant!
DeleteTheresa and Blue cooked up one delicious poem. Food for thought, nibble on the goodness of life.
ReplyDeleteTheresa said she couldn't write a poem, but I'm slightly begging to differ. Cooked up is the right phrase :) Hello True, feeling a bit better too?
Delete"A lot of sweetness with a pinch of spice"
ReplyDeleteA perfect start to a wonderful secret recipe
All lots of fun and traditionally nice
Bound to make all lucky diners extremely happy
Hank
Howdy Hank!
DeleteThe one and only Poetry Tank
How are you today
At your Hank Tank Bay?
Didn't Theresa do a good job rhyming away?
So there is magic in burnt and black
ReplyDeleteDamn, I should rub a lottery ticket against it at my shack
Then bora bora we can go
What? Is that a no?
I just get to look through the glass?
Damn, that, she just wants to cook my little rhyming ass
Should be a yes
DeleteWe could win, I guess
What... I guessed wrong
As I'm singing the Bora song?
Say it ain't so
At the No Bora Show!
Deep fat fried would be my method for you Pat. Burn, baby, Burn!
DeleteMake sure to wear your Disco Inferno outfit, too!
DeleteDisco Fever I would get from that?
DeleteOn me there is no fat
Would that mean the meat is lean?
Maybe I'll just spike your canteen
A lean, mean cat machine
DeleteDoing that disco stuff in between
A carrot in the wind? I like that. Hey, if Elton himself could sing two different versions of that song, why can't there be a third one?
ReplyDeleteThat's the first poem I've ever seen in which someone rhymed "adventures" with "dentures." Another nice touch!
Yes, a carrot in the wind. Believe it or not, it just felt right rebooting that song. When Theresa kills off a carrot (chop chop), she makes it come to life again. When I'm the chopinator and try to do the same... not so much.
DeleteI don't think I've ever seen the word dentures in a poem :)
Thanks for, yet again, a wonderful comment.
Another word I've only heard used once in a song (not a poem) is "exhumed." Dan Fogelberg used it in 1983's "Make Love Stay."
DeleteNow I will have to use it. 1983... great year. It's the year I fell in love with two sisters. Yes, sir. Thank you for exhuming that memory.
Deleteoh yes she cooks wonderful! Love her recipes!
ReplyDeleteThank you Gloria ♥
DeleteI love her recipes, too. Not that I would know how to put them to good use...
DeleteHello Gloria.
A lot of sweetness... yep, that is my Sister Theresa! Who will write a cookbook, because I told her so!
ReplyDeleteSome day, Dezzy. Some day....
DeleteDezzzmeister is right. Usually he isn't but today he is :p
DeleteThanks for having me Blue. It was fun to collaborate with you ♥
ReplyDeleteIn my notebook I still have an unused punchline, so one day we may have to write a sequel. I knew you could do it and you did it and you are great.
DeleteSounds like she knows how to make a stomach happy, and I do love food. :)
ReplyDeleteShe sure does. Good to hear from you, Loni.
DeleteI love the ingredients! This was a good collaboration!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Grace.
DeleteI really enjoyed the collaboration, it came out really nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mary. Happy Easter.
DeleteHa! This is perfect. A couple who can agree on what who should do, harmony. I my house it's "you stay outta my kitchen and I'll stay away from your power tools"
ReplyDeleteWe're a team, all right.
DeleteWhat a fun collaboration! Made me smile! Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter!!!!!
DeleteShe does have a knack for awesome recipes. I'm making that lemon cake for Easter dessert. I already know it will taste great, but not look NEAR as good as hers turned out. She's just got that special touch. :) Happy Easter, Blue!
ReplyDeleteThe magic touch :)
DeleteHappy Easter, Rosey!!!!
Those poor buzzards...
ReplyDeleteIt's a cruel, cruel world, Lynda. :D
DeleteOne of my favorite recipe providers on my blog list! She surely gets a knack of it! Hope you have a great Easter break!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by.
DeleteThis, along with the graphic, made me chuckle
ReplyDeleteHello Rooth.
DeleteAnother excellent collaboration.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
All the best Jan
Thanks, Jan.
DeleteI needed a laugh, as well as some cooking encouragement ;)
ReplyDeleteStrangely enough I need the exact same things.
Delete