MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
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Will you ever reach Bora?

Saturday, January 19, 2019

How to Become a Better Person?

I have been struggling with this question for a while. How come? Well, a person much wiser than myself said something the other day that struck a chord with me, and now I'm wondering if perhaps I should change my ways. I may need your advice on this one.

Some of you may remember that I'm surrounded by neighbors who couldn't care less about the people living next door. This would be all fine and dandy with me if it wasn't for the absurd level of noise they insist on making that renders any of my attempts to regain my strength useless, and having to listen to their boom-box reggaeton meets Chicago house music with a vengeance 24/7 is frustrating to say the least. I have tried to enter into a conversation with them, but it's pointless. 
"How do you know that noise was me?" (innocent face with a hint of a smirk)  
"Well, my wall was moving, you know."

Pointless. I've got neighbors who make it virtually impossible to enjoy your downtime and recharge your batteries after a day in the office. They don't have a job, so what happens is they wake up late and start making a lot of noise when I get home in the afternoon or evening. I can't sleep because of their parties in the middle of the night, and when it's time for me to wake up and go to work all bleary-eyed, they go to bed and sleep all day. Lots of peace and quiet when they're asleep, I'm sure.

Now, my way has always been to respect whoever treats me with respect and to fight those who disrespect me or try to bully me. I don't usually turn the other cheek. But what I tend to do is I go overboard in the way I fight back. There's something about disrespectful behavior that pains me more than anything else, and after a couple of days I want to destroy them medieval style.

Enter the wise person who said, "Talk, don't fight. Fighting is not the way. You'd only make things worse. Be the better person."

What would you do? Should I be the better person? What does that even mean? The way I see it, they can go to hell, burn their butts and jump off a cliff. 

Blue


56 comments:

  1. Greetings Blue. You should restrain from hostility, as you might get in trouble yourself! Sadly you can only complain, which might take an age for a response! Sorry for your troubles. Blessings. Love love, Andrew.

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  2. I'd say complain to the landlord. If you've already asked them to hold it down, that'w the next step. Parties late at night probably bother all the neighbors. Fighting back with more noise just means when the landlord comes to them, they can say you do it as well. Take the high road!

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    1. Exactly. Minor problem: the landlord couldn't care less and I refuse to move, which is code for no money. Thanks, Alex.

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  3. I was going to suggest the "complain to the landlord" route, but Alex beat me to it. Also, you didn't mention whether you'd called the police yet, but that might help. However, chronic complaints (due to chronic transgressions) can have one of two effects. Either the police will say (to the neighbors) "Look, this is the umpteenth time we've had to come here, so you'd better knock it off," or (to each other) "Oh, great, it's that guy again who's always complaining."

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    1. The police are fed up with my neighbors, too, but for some reason there isn't a whole lot they can do.

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  4. I don't know what being the better person could mean; you already are! I guess I'd just turn on talk radio really loud when you leave work in the morning.

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    1. I did that once. Only made matters worsw. O if I were a cop....

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  5. Hi Blue, don't change . . . you are great as you are.
    How about getting a loop tape of Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture and when you go to work each day play it flat out when they are trying to sleep and see how they like it . . .
    Are tou in the position to move . . . maybe better for your health,

    I don't think talking to these selfish morons would make any difference.

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    1. A loop tape sounds like a plan to me (because it IS a plan)! You're right. I should just move. Minor problem: ka-ching.

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  6. Easy you look at Donald Trump

    and you just do the opposite.

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  7. I am sorry that you have such unpleasant neighbours. I would have said inconsiderate but the 'how did you know it was me' comment put them firmly in the unpleasant/smart arse category. Really, really sorry. But hope you won't change.

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    1. My wife tells me I won't ever change, so I'm hopeful.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

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  8. "Accidentally" burn the place to the ground? Then peace and quiet may be found. Idiots like that sure can annoy, I'd turn things up loud when I was gone, but then the cops would come on you too and they'd do the whole "he does it too" crap. Hmmm can you order a cellphone jammer there? Could jam all their signals and they'd never know it. Then they may get frustrated and move away. Could really screw with them and turn it on and off randomly at times. Although it is illegal to use one, so don't get caught haha

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  9. New follower here. I know exactly what you mean. I had a neighbor upstairs I nicknamed 'Leadfoot' because he was so heavy on his feet. To top that off, he was an exercise fanatic and would be jumping about at all hours. Then, he moved out but kept his apartment and used it for Air bnb. That was worse yet. People renting from him were on vacation, and they didn't have to get up to go to work so it was noise at all hours of the night. Finally, the building owners took steps and got rid of him. Peace at last.

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    1. Leadfoot sounds like a neighbor I'd like to see jump into the big blue ocean never to return. Thanks for stopping by and following my litle blog. I appreciate it.

      Peace at last. Well, good for you. What's it like?

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  10. I don't have any real good advice that anyone hasn't mentioned already so I'm going to do the best thing I can do in a situation like this. I'm going to pray for you, Blue. Going to pray for your peace and quiet when you need it. I'm not sure how God is going to answer this prayer, but I know he will in his time so I'm just going to trust in that. Do keep us updated.

    betty

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    1. That's so kind of you, betty. I appreciate it.

      Will do.

      Delete
  11. “Now, my way has always been to respect whoever treats me with respect and to fight those who disrespect me or try to bully me.”

    The above quote is how I see things too. Respect is earned. Respect belongs to those who are gracious, compassionate and honest. Arseholes need not apply.

    If you have already tried talking and they’re not responding then as far as I’m concerned, the next step is The Iron Maiden.

    Turn the other cheek? I think this is only relevant when it is a minor incident that is so trivial it doesn’t warrant a response. Not something that’s an ongoing torment and deliberate disregard for others.

    So, basically, don’t be a turning cheek wet wipe and allow them to run riot over your needs and basic human rights. Nope. No, sir! Sometimes, people only understand a taste of their own medicine and then some. ‘Ave at ‘em, Blue. I’m happy to come round and be of assistance. x

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    1. Dearest Jules, so good to hear from you. I've been neglecting everyone, being ill and a darkers shade of blue, but that doesn't mean I've not been thinking of you. Yes, respect is earned. In my book that's the only way.

      I'll try not to go overboard and end up in jail. I will come up with a plan that's not only effective but also... epic!

      Will keep you posted and will stop by soon.

      No cheek turning any day soon.

      Blue

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    2. My Darling Blue. What's important is making sure you are well looked after and that ignorant neighbours don't add to that stress. The rest is just background noise. Love ya always.

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  12. If you've read any of my Sunday posts you know I have awful neighbors. My own advice is if they are making that much noise...call the police and make a noise complaint. Some people think that you can make a lot of noise until 10pm, but that's just not true. If you are making any noise that your neighbors can hear and it bothers them, you can call the non emergency police number and make a noise complaint.

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    1. Ok, I see in another comment that you said the police are fed up and can't do much. Keep calling them anyway. Maybe they will get so fed up with the police coming that they will move.

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    2. Thanks for your comments, Mary. Yes, I've read plenty of your posts. I know your neighbors and mine could be close relatives, and I'll keep calling the cops. Fines and warnings... that's about the extent of what they can do.

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    3. I just Googled what to do about noisy neighbors and this is what came up.

      "If your neighbor keeps disturbing you, you can sue, and ask the court for money damages or to order the neighbor to stop the noise ("abate the nuisance," in legal terms). ... The person you are suing is either creating the noise or is the landlord and therefore responsible. Your enjoyment of your home is affected."

      I would get all the police reports together and sue them. Maybe that would make them stop with the noise or move away.

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    4. I might just do that. Thanks, Mary. I've been too nice for way too long.

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  13. Get a really good set of headphones and listen to your own choice of music.

    Or throw dead prawns through their windows--no, wait. I didn't say that.

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    1. Yes, you did and I like the idea, too. Will keep you posted, Lynda.

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  14. Blue, I wonder if your other neighbors might be just as annoyed at this rude behavior? If so, it might be more effective to approach management as a collective group.

    My other suggestion would be to invest in ear plugs and hope they move out when the lease is up.

    Wishing you peace and quiet!

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    Replies
    1. My other neighbors are scared of them but I'm not giving up, True.

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    2. Blue

      In all honesty, I would probably pester management or call the police. Most places have a noise curfew. If that didn’t work I’d buy earplugs. It’s hard but, sometimes it is a losing battle. sigh

      Wishing you restful nights

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    3. Thanks, True. Earplugs don't do the trick, though.

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  15. Hi Blue..
    They still bothering you?
    Ass faced bastards!
    Why are some people so ding dang rude?
    If they’re not working...where’s the rent money come from?
    I was gonna say to play loud music all day when you’re at work, but I see everyone else did too! 🤷🏼‍♀️
    You’ll figure it out....
    Enjoy your week...
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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    Replies
    1. I'll find a way. I was thinking about moving to Bora but that money tree keeps dying on me.

      Cheers!

      Delete
  16. Hi Blue, I totally understand. For me, I would stay away from them. The way they act is about them, not you. I would try to take care of yourself and wear ear muffs! LOL! Not trying to be funny. Give yourself the attention, not them. Maybe hang up a carpet/rug? Carpet blurrs out noise. But, I agree, be the better person.
    Maybe the "universe" is giving you a sign to move?

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    1. Can't afford to move just yet but I will eventually. The plan is to sound proof my walls. That will help a bit.

      Thank you!

      Delete
  17. Looks like everyone else already gave all the good advice. Another thought came to mind, though it'd require work on your part. You could try bonding with them and building up a friendship. Then, they might start to care that they're disrupting you? Though, what they've demonstrated what their response would likely be like regardless if you were friendly or not.

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    1. Picture the most anti-social backstabbing person you've ever met... times two. Yikes! Plus they never clean their house.... Now ask me how I know.

      Good to hear from you again.

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  18. I am so sorry that you have such unpleasant neighbours.
    I see many others have given advice and ideas, so hope that you will be able to work things out.

    It's not much, but I send positive thoughts and good wishes that you can and do.

    All the best Jan

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    1. I appreciate the pisitive vibes coming my way :)

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  19. It's difficult to be the better person when you're The Most Tired Person. I think your long term goal to move is probably correct and maybe that'll be enough to focus / distract you from all of their noise

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    1. Yep, that's the plan Now all I need to find is some dough. Money doesn't make you happy... unless you want to move.

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  20. Sorry you have to deal with crappy neighbors. I was going to suggest taking the less classy approach and blast porn while you're at work. Maybe set up a contraption that bangs on the walls for added pleasure. This is the exact reason why I refuse to move back into an apartment or condo (which my husband is really pushing for). I hate people and need all 4 sides of my dwelling to be free of unconnected neighbors. Went through the same bullshit in our apartment and said never again.

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    1. That less classy approach would only... um... stimulate them. I kid you not. Sorry to hear you had to go through the same bs. Stay put. Don't move.

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  21. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. So frustrating! I had a neighbor who didn't get along with me and was rude to my kids. We had lots of back and forths over the years and then one day, I decided I wasn't going to take her bait. Oddly enough, we became friends...right before she moved last year. haha I feel like you should do what will make you happiest. Good luck, Blue!!

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    1. Good morning, Elsie. I guess some people only care about themselves. I wonder if it has always been that way or if this selfishness is a sign of the times. I wouldn't know.

      Good to hear from you again.

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  22. Better persons get walked upon, be the worse one and hit them with a baseball bat I say! I called cops on my noisy neighbour who plays loud music all day long celebrating the fact that his wife left him, two times and I also send my cats to poop in his yard every day. I'm calling the cops third time as well next time he goes noisy again. Why would you be good to someone who obviously does not care? They need a lesson and that lesson is called a fine, a car full of cops and a court call too! Or a bag filled with Mongo's shit in front of their doors spread over their mat so that they cannot wash it.

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    1. I hear you, Dez. The thing is, I tend to go overboard when stooping to their level, and I have a Missus to think of if you know what I mean. But I've warned them in no unclear terms and called the cops on them on more than one occasion. What I'm not going to do is play their game and get into trouble. Mongo's droppings are too good for them.

      Good to hear from you.

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  23. sorry to hear that you have crappy neighbors.
    Have a great day

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