MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Will you ever reach Bora?

Sunday, August 11, 2019

The Age of the Man-Child

What was it I read the other day? Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times. Ain't that the truth. Now all we need to do is wait for the hard times to come knocking on our door because this is the age of the man-child.


I see them on a daily basis — young men in their early twenties who look like boys, sound like boys and behave like boys. Men who don't know the difference between a handsaw and a hacksaw but know how to shop for groceries on an electric skateboard. Men who can't build a closet or fix a roof. Men who don't know how to use a hammer unless it's the enchanted Marvel patented toy hammer, Mjolnir. By the time they hit 40 nothing's really changed.

There's a whole generation of men who don't even own tools — real tools, not the ones you find in a virtual toolbox that comes with a game. We're talking men who don't want the responsibility of maintaining anything, be it a car, city bike or a modest studio apartment. They'd rather pay a premium price to not have to do any of the hard work themselves. Behold the modern man, who can't survive without his smart phone because he wants to be served. Quick and easy is the way to go. To hell with hardship. To hell with what if I had to do it all by myself? Are you kidding me? This a not the stone age.

True. This is the age of the narcissistic man-child who stares at a screen so long he thinks he is entitled to blame Disney for destroying his precious childhood. A man who needs a minimum of 50 thumbs-ups a day because Mommy used to tell him he was great. Daddy did so too. "Strike a pose, son!" Yes, good times create weak men. Little princes.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a six-year-old prince on a playground who wanted to climb the monkey bars. His father came rushing his way, not to assist him but to rescue him 4 feet above ground level. The proud parent had been taking many a picture of his Mini-Me but when he saw the kid quickly developing an adventurous streak and actually climb something, he got nervous and felt compelled to come to the rescue. Kids these day are all too often protected to the point of absurdity.

But everything comes at a price.

* * *

62 comments:

  1. Good point! Kids are so shielded, they don't know how to survive in the real world. They got a prize for just showing up in school, but real life doesn't work that way.
    I do own tools and I do know how to use them!
    Sadly, it's no wonder women are stepping up. So few real men left in the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My point exactly. Did you know lots of young men even feel guilty because they are... men?

      Delete
  2. I think overprotectiveness is in a parent's DNA:) We want to protect them from all hurts. But we aren't doing them any favors if we don't teach them to take responsibility, and be both independent and compassionate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes! My son in law has no idea how to even change the oil in their car. My husband taught our daughter how to change a tire, change the oil, change a toilet seat and many other things because Ken is an apartment maintenance man so he knows how to do all the things my dad knew how to do. But guys now a days don't seem to know how to do anything of the things that men knew how to do when I was a kid.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ah, so you've met my son? LOL! I partly blame my husband, for never teaching him how to do anything besides paint. Nope, my son was forced to do things like SAT prep classes, engineering and other science summer camps and play year round Jr. USTA. These activities got him into an uber liberal university that taught him that there was no such thing as God and that corporations are evil. After 6 months working at a real job, my son decided to quit and now he bartends/bar back at a tiki lounge. Welcome to my world!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He didn't think he was living his best life!

      Delete
    2. I hear you. It takes a brave person to do what you really want to do.

      Delete
  5. Sigh.
    As a non parent I watch and worry. Constant approval is nobody's friend. Failure is a lesson and a spur not a punishment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This trend started back in the 90s when I was teaching. Helicopter parents who hover, trying to protect their 8 yr old. Parents wanted me to eliminate homework because the student had piano, soccer, and whatever, didn't have time.

    Self esteem was more important than truth.

    Where are those kids? I shudder to think. Grrr

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right. I remember those days when I started out as a teacher. I remember reading an article back in 1998 on how we were raising a generation of entitled princes and princesses.

      Delete
  7. Kids need to eat dirt occasionally to know how to deal with dirt ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. The way to learn and grow is through trial and error. In real life everyone doesn't get a blue ribbon and live happily ever-after.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or a participation medal because "everybody is a winner"...

      Delete
    2. That is True - Blue
      I don't want a Man-child
      I want a man-man...just saying
      bring on the tool belt...

      Delete
    3. Spread the word, True.

      P.S. What's the difference between a man-child and a toyboy? :)

      Delete
    4. IF, everyone is a winner why are so many people unhappy Blue?

      Delete
  9. My son could have been a man child but circumstances made him grow up pretty darn fast as a young dad with at times 100% of child care of his son his responsibility (won't go into details but he was the hands on one for a long period of time). That man child that he potentially could have been had to grow up quickly when he realized he was responsible for the well being of someone totally dependent on him. Thankfully hubby also taught him some other essential skills of basic car care and care around the house.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your son sounds like a responsible adult, Betty.

      Delete
  10. Characters grow through the hard times. Lines of worry etched on smiling faces show they have conquered and persevered and have personalty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the only way. There's no app to do the hard work for you.

      Delete
    2. If I buy a skateboard and look dominant and hep, do you think I could attract those dolly birds? . . . lol

      Delete
    3. I'd like to see a picture of that, Eddie. Heck, something tells me you could get away with it, too.

      Delete
    4. I guarantee it . . lol, that is if I could stay on the skateboard lol.

      Delete
  11. I agree with your post and with most of the comments. I see what you are talking about every day.

    ReplyDelete
  12. As a homeowner, I'll try to do the work myself if I can. I won't get under the house though, and not on the roof (safety reasons). I can do most things, though plumbing and electrical I typically can't do because I don't know how.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't expect otherwise, Adam. There are things we should leave to the professionals but, where possible, just give it a shot. It builds character and saves a person a lot of money in the long run. No pain, no game. Pun very much intended.

      Delete
  13. Saying a man is a man if he has tools is like saying a woman is a woman only if she has spoons!
    That being said, I do ever so hate today's world, and its brats above all, I'd send them all (both boys and girls and their parents) to work in mines or fields.
    My father never taught me anything about fixing stuff, who taught you how to use a hammer, Blue, I know your father wasn't around either?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Saying a man is a man if he has tools is like saying a woman is a woman only if she has spoons!" No, that would be true if I used the word only, which I didn't. And the funny thing is... when someone who doesn't own tools needs the help of a professional to fix the roof, it's always a man who shows up. What does that tell you?

      "Who taught you how to use a hammer, Blue?" Good question. I'm self-taught. Whenever there's a problem, I always try to solve it myself. Whenever a diy job needs to be done, I'll try it: tiling, fixing a frigging leaking roof, building all kinds of stuff, dry walling, you name it. I guess I don't have an endless budget.

      Delete
  14. I often think that included on the schools curriculum (yes, I know it's already crowded) should be every day things like changing a plug, doing some painting or sewing a button. How to cook a simple meal … there are too many out there who haven't a clue!!!

    I do agree that many 'kids these day are all too often protected to the point of absurdity.' in the long run it's not helpful.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "There are too many out there who haven't a clue!" It's a fact.

      Delete
  15. They should teach some of this basic life stuff in school too. Kids these days can barely wipe their own arse by themselves, and when they do figure it out, they need praise for it. Learn and grow through failing is way better than everyone gets a participation medal. Those things just need to be tossed in the trash.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew you'd have something to add to this discussion. Yes, they need youtube instructions to replace light bulbs. I'm not even joking. Excellent point: when they do figure it out, they need praise for it.

      Tossed in the trash and burned.

      Delete
  16. Two words which, when combined, make my blood boil: Participation trophy. Participation trophy. PARTICIPATION TROPHY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who came up with that idea? Some softy who thought - and probably still thinks to this day - that being the same is, well, good. No it's not. It's a terrible idea. Work for it. Take responsibility. Equality of outcome kills spirits.

      Delete
    2. Right. I'm certainly no Olympic-level athlete, but I ran on a high school track once or twice, so shouldn't there be a gold medal out there with my name on it?

      Your son was in 37th place in a race that had 37 participants. "Oh, Bobby, you're the last winner!"

      Delete
    3. One gold medal coming up. Diamond encrusted with the compliments of the Sensitive PC Brigade.

      Now here's a question: Would you burn it? (Buy comics!)

      Delete
  17. Let kids be kids and learn to be a man. Some damn good advice. I have wanted to do this rant as well. Great minds think alike.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll bet you'd outrant mine. Let kids be kids and learn to be a man. Exactly. Big babies. Here's a medal for existing... Give me a break.

      Delete
  18. Cooking and cleaning are basic life skills. I've definitely dated guys who didn't know how to boil water

    ReplyDelete
  19. At least my five-year-old can use a hammer! It's just getting him to not smash his fingers when hitting the nail that's the tough part.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your kid can do more than some of the people I've met.

      Delete
  20. My husband is very handy and fixes most home issues himself. If it's something outside of his expertise, such as electric, he finds someone who can walk him through it and actually teach him. If all else fails, he will youtube an instructional video to learn how to do it. I hope that he teaches these skills to our son that he can grow to be as handy. That being said, we are also in a time where it is frowned upon to be a blue collar worker. Men who work in a suit and tie with manicured hands are praised. You can't just blame the men or their families. Society is grooming our generation to scoff at men who sweat... heaven forbid a man fixes their own leaky sink or mows their own lawn!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well whaddaya know! Look who is back! I'm not a blue (not?) collar worker myself but that doesn't stop me from trying to fix things myself. But you've got a point there. Now, as for that manicure...

      How's life been treating you?

      Delete
    2. Life has been hectic!!! Thanks for asking. How about you!?

      I'm all for a MAN-i-cure. ;)

      Delete
    3. Work, work,work. What can I say? My work has gotten in the way of being creative. I haven't drawn anything in such a long time. It's a shame. So, yeah, I can relate. Life has been hectic -- though I'm sure not as hectic as yours. You should've seen the expression on my face when I saw your name. Jax? The Jax?

      Delete
    4. The Jax? Yes, it's me! I love it. :) I'm glad to be back. I've missed you guys and I've missed writing. Like you said, work gets in the way of our creativity. Maybe we should just quit our jobs? No? Ok...

      Delete
    5. I'm all for quitting. I know where we can get some cheap land in the middle of the woods and live like hermits. Yes? No? Yeah, it is pathetic that people are frowned upon for mowing a lawn, yet if all this stopped, this suit and tie a-holes would be the first to whine. Heck, garbage men get paid really well. Nothing wrong with that.

      Delete
    6. Frowned upon for mowing a lawn? What's wrong with mowing a lawn? I guess they wouldn't even know how to. There's no app for mowing a frigging lawn. I have met people who don't even know how to replace a light bulb yet they dream of making an impact. WTF is that all about? Pardon my Swedish. Narcissistic screen wipers who get all upset when they have to do same hard work, I'll tell ya. I once met a 25-year-old who said he didn't want a driving licence because "driving is hard work". I kid you not.

      Delete
    7. LOL @ "don't even know how to replace a light bulb yet the dream of making an impact." Well, I don't know how I feel about this. I can certainly replace a light bulb, but what if you can't reach??? I kid, I kid. I just have to get my stool out from under the sink and then climb on the nearest piece of furniture.

      Delete
  21. And there’s a whole generation of men who(whilst not owning tools) are tools. Technology is the destruction of man. I’ve heard it said many a time and I’m starting to see the evidence.
    Love ya, Blue x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Technology is the destruction of man. There's no doubt about that. When experts are afraid of AI, we should be afraid too. Lots of people still have no idea how wars will be fought in the future either. Gullibility is what springs to mind.

      Hello Jules.
      Love ya, too.

      Delete

Speak your mind.