The Power of the Dumb is a force to be reckoned with. Unlike The Borg, they don't want to assimilate you into their collective but prefer to break you in half, swallow you whole and turn you into a stinky puddle of power poo. You may think you are as tough as Clint in the desert, but dumbness doesn't fight fair. The Dumbness Collective is a chicken shit bunch of no-goods with more power than you, unless you quit and seek employment elsewhere. Aha. Now you know what I'm talking about. Not who — what. Which brings me to my friend Al.
Al used to be so high-spirited. He was a man driven by passion and a strong belief in loyalty. He would show up at work with a sense of purpose and a pinch of pride, not only because he was truly convinced his students benefitted from his devoted teaching — they had unabashedly expressed their appreciation many a time, making him blush — but also because he always tried to fix whatever was broken without sending The Powers That Be a hefty bill for services rendered. He was the pragmatic type. He did whatever was necessary to assist his students, and one of those things was to create a website that actually worked. You see, his poor students were forced to use Dino.com, a website that honored its name by transporting its users to a time when drag and drop was yet to be discovered (if ever — probably not), user friendliness a crime, and speed akin to Presley's vulgar hips in the future 1950's. Al solved all of that. He set up a first-rate website that offered easy access, didn't frustrate and was as quick as a flash. It worked perfectly.
Enter Big Mother, Al's then boss. Let's call her F. Now, when Big Mother F. was watching him becoming more loved by an ever-growing flock of friendly students, Big Mother F. grew restless. She had sleepless nights, plagued by visions of Al's individual effort and success. His website worked. Hers didn't. Yet hers was the one all students were supposed to use even if it sucked so much a hooker would decline the offer to earn a few bucks. So what did she do? She formed an evil fellowship with a handful of brown-nosed cronies up and down the corporate ladder and plotted against our friend Al, who soon understood that someone was determined to break his back, if only metaphorically. What could he do to defend himself against The Alliance of the Dumb, who outranked him, outcashed him, and no doubt had an army of lawyers looming in the dark? Al was just one guy. He had no money. He had no knowledge of the law. To add insult to injury, his health was letting him down, and he just didn't have the energy to survive a head-on collision, an all-out-freakin' war. Why would he even want to?
In the end, Al saw himself forced to strip his website of that special magic his students had loved so much. Knowing his website had lost its sparkle, he decided to sink the damn thing altogether as it would forever remind him of the lingering smell of backstabbing bullies and conniving cronies. That unrelenting bitter aftertaste would never leave him be, so he pressed the button. His website was gone.
Al sighed. He realized that sometimes competence bites the dust, and there was nothing he could do about it — that is, without his cousin Vinny doing some serious damage, which might lead to the both of them doing, you know, hard time for a long, long time. And for what? (Not who — what!) No, Al was a peaceful guy. He had no choice but to accept his defeat, which he grudgingly did, telling himself time and again that he was (to hell with them all!) still in one piece. They didn't break him, and they never would. They had just bullied him.
Did I mention that one fine day Al forged a plan to bring down the entire system? No? Well, he did and it worked, too. He felt like a regular David who had defeated Goliathella The Powerful Dumbass without Goliathella The Powerful Dumbass ever realizing what had hit her or her cronies. Like a magician with more patience than Yoda on a mission, Al had made them disappear in one fell swoop. SSSSSWOOP! And, yes, he had many other amazing adventures before finally returning to the ordinary world of buck-munching desk jockeys and 9-to-5 pencil pushers. His students were waiting. His friends were there. All was good. Inhale. Exhale. But that's... another story.
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|Get it? And that website may have been a blog...|